#too wrong to make a right

163 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

oblique steeple
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The vessels are damaged in bruise,
No matter how I travel or cruise.
This skeleton can’t manage or move –
Without shaking or worse: Breaking in two.

Confined in the belly of the beast,
Experienced this too many times to fear.
Numb to the digestion on my feet.
It’s safe here; a place to shed acid tears.

Shoulder blades sharp enough to pierce,
Weapons of mass delusion as spears.
Carrying the burden of Atlas across –
The fields of hereafter; I appear to be lost.

No child to smile,
No woman to bear emotion.
A solitude I accepted for miles –
All over these roads and oceans.

Tremors under my frozen skin.
Such warm blood runs slow,
Petrified – rather a docile opening.
Touching would help the cold grow.

Midgardian forces my eyelids shut.
Dark dystopia once looking around.
The exhaustion caused a power cut;
All functions are down – except for sound.

A once vibrant palette of life;
Damned by such common trials.
Once a whole cake of sweet spice,
Abandoned in the freezer to expire.

unborn viper
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I really like this a lot

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It’s written really well too

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But I have a question

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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What does docile mean?

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I didn’t understand that line cuz of it

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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Hmm

oblique steeple
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That stanza is basically me accepting whatever pain comes my way.

unborn viper
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Okay thanks a lot

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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New vocab

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I really love the poem tho

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I think imma read it again

oblique steeple
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Read it as many times as your eyes please.

unborn viper
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Yup

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Oh you also take interest in hip hop?

oblique steeple
rustic vaultBOT
unborn viper
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Ohh interesting

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Same here

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Who do u listen to?

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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Ohh nice taste man

oblique steeple
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Thank you, who are your favourites?

unborn viper
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Hm well J Cole I listen to a lot

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Kendrick

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Tupac not that often anymore

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I love biggie

oblique steeple
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Oooo

unborn viper
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But I am from southasia so their stuff too

oblique steeple
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These are my favourites

  1. Nas
  2. Black Thought
  3. Eminem
  4. Aesop Rock
  5. GZA
unborn viper
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Oh if we are doing lists

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Then

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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  1. Tupac
    2.Eminem
    3.Biggie
    4.Kendrick
    5.Nas/J Cole
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Just rarely listen to some of them now

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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Like no particular albums

oblique steeple
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Ah I see.

I just prefer Me Against The World to be honest; I love that album the most.

unborn viper
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I mostly just listen to the songs I like

unborn viper
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But I think I listened to even more biggie

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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Do u know the song suicidal thoughts?

unborn viper
oblique steeple
unborn viper
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I see

oblique steeple
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Always in rotation tbh

unborn viper
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It’s prolly in my top 3 biggie songs

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I loved it the first time I heard it

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It had the same effect on me like changes by pac

oblique steeple
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Those first lines hit like a truck.

unborn viper
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Yesss

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Like being so honest to urself gotta be hard man

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But u got nas on 1

oblique steeple
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Yes.

unborn viper
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Illmatic or it was written?

oblique steeple
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Definitely Illmatic, but It Was Written is just as quality.

unborn viper
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Yeh I agree

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N.Y state of mind

oblique steeple
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Something about the production by Preemo, Tip, Large Pro, and Pete Rock hits different.

unborn viper
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Was some crazyyyyy stuff

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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But the poetic prowess of nas is unmatched

oblique steeple
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I often write poetry to Nas tracks since his poetic value in those songs are very high.

unborn viper
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Oh that’s interesting

oblique steeple
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All of my poems flow with the songs I write.

unborn viper
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That’s seems fun

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Kinda

oblique steeple
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It is personally.

unborn viper
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Nice man

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Perhaps I will try that

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But personally

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The message

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Is my fav.

oblique steeple
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My favourite is Get Down.

unborn viper
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Ooooh

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Nice stuff

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But tbh man

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I am sry for jay z fans

oblique steeple
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Hahaha

unborn viper
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What nas did was brutal

oblique steeple
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I love JAY-Z but man... when a diss track spawned the phrase

"Ethered"

Yeah, it's over.

unborn viper
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Yessir

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That’s prolly the best diss track all time

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Except for no Vaseline

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Or hit em up

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Btwww

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Did you hear about the j Cole and Kendrick beef?

oblique steeple
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Yeah.

unborn viper
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Good stuff I’m loving it tbh

oblique steeple
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I'm on K.Dot here.

amber thicket
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Wow this blew up

unborn viper
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J Cole is my favourite rapper rn. But Kendrick is a beast!

oblique steeple
amber thicket
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lol

unborn viper
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Lmao,

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We love hip hop

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💀

amber thicket
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I’m just here to show poetry I wrote

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But it never is seen by anyone, which kinda sucks

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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But did ya hear the j Cole distrack

amber thicket
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I have a book if you’d like that

unborn viper
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Oh sure

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Could I read it too?

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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Yeh true

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Btw poetics can I @ u on my poem I’d like some feedback

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?

oblique steeple
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Sure go ahead.

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Don't hesitate to tag me in anything.

unborn viper
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Okeyy

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That’s the only thing I ever posted tho

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I never feel like my poems are good enough

oblique steeple
unborn viper
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Well that’s two things we relate at

amber thicket
amber thicket
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I’m looking for a person who’s willing to have a conversation about it, someone knowledgeable to tell me how to improve

unborn viper
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Hm I see

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But I can dm those people

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Sooo I don’t post

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😅

amber thicket
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Don’t know a feller like that

unborn viper
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Oh damn I don’t have a wattpad acc

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Do u have it as pdf?

amber thicket
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Wdym?

unborn viper
amber thicket
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The book?

unborn viper
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Yes

amber thicket
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I use in-app tools to write it

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I often write drafts in discord

unborn viper
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I see

amber thicket
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I’ll either write a full poetry draft and use that

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Or I’ll write multiple and take out sentences or stanzas and put them together

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Then I’ll copy and paste it

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Do a little clean up so it doesn’t look like a mess

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Think of a title

unborn viper
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Yeh but I can’t read it now cuz i don’t have an acc

amber thicket
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Oh

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Didn’t know an account was needed

unborn viper
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That’s why I asked if u have a pdf of the book

unborn viper
amber thicket
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I do not have a pdf

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Sadly

unborn viper
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I see

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Well that’s too sad then

amber thicket
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Yeah

amber thicket
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¯_(ツ)_/¯

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It has about 9 poems in there

unborn viper
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I made an acc

rustic vaultBOT
unborn viper
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Lemme try now

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It works now