#Thunder

13 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

edgy basin
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Rain.
Pouring and pouring from the sky.
Swishing and swirling.
With no idea why.

The variety of beats sang like a musical.
From softer dribbles to louder bashes.
The constant rhythm continued.
30 minutes passed.

A loud groan rumbled from the grey murky air.
Its hunger grew more pronounced.
Like a starving lion.
Yet it cannot capture any prey.

Its desperation.
Its agitation.
Its wretchedness.
Its misery exacerbated.

It’s as if it’s calling for help.
To express one’s emotions after holding in for so long.
Like a child, elder, or man crying.
A release of unbearable pain and suffering.

Despite the warm, sunny, and glowing days,
It will always have episodes of anger and despair.
Growls mimicking anger.
Rain mimicking tears of despair.

Of course it’s part of nature’s cycle.
Yet it mimics an human being.
An emotional roller coaster.
Yet that’s what life truly is.

— Galaxy

Please let me know what you think and rate it out of 10.

rustic ice
tribal doveBOT
rustic ice
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I would change 30 to thirty, numbers in poems directly is kind of jarring unless it has a theme

edgy basin
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Ah thanks a lot!

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And will do

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I somehow also write numerical numbers

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When I know it should be written in words

rustic ice
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yea happens to me a lot as well lol

edgy basin
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Will definitely change all of them to words tho

rustic ice
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i think it's an 8/10, your imagery could be more unique i like the child elder man crying thing

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A child’s tears, an elder’s sigh, a man’s cry,
Unveiling pain, a burdened soul’s release.

maybe?

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i like the idea of how men are generally not crying unless it's some insane disaster and how you implented that here