#A short reflection in your daydreams

18 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

jade cargo
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Once I saw this girl sitting near a lake
writing down her daydreams awake
bruises on her finger she rewrites a mistake
and watches her reflection in the lake
watching her journey unfold that she awaits

she looked at me with her dazy eyes
invited me to sit closer and recognize
beauty of all skies and all that will be
our eyes that shine in this lake are a key
to a portal within us which sets us free

she guided me across all my reflections
in the presence of beauty there is no perfection
and the daydreams we shared mended us
but that smile she had was once mysterious
only a ripple awakened me to see who i was

covert fossil
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this tastes like

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fairydust and aloe vera mist

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I LOVE ITTT

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💕

jade cargo
raw bane
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this is written beautifully!! i love it

covert fossil
jade cargo
pure cedar
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This is actually not bad to be honest

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Also see mine:
#1223126901053456539

jade cargo
jade cargo
opaque brook
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The work is lovely, maybe here and there some of the sentences don’t seem to match well, maybe it’s due to the lack of punctuation. There are a few articles missing in the poem. It could do with some tweaking on the structuralisation aspect as well. That’s all I have to say. Fabulous job!!!

blazing veldt
jade cargo
jade cargo
thick oracle
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Such a pretty poem..!!! The vocab, the rhymes, the rhythm are great!! The imagery is so vivid and picturesque. Punctuation could use some work. The metaphors used are great. Pretty pretty poem, I liked. 7/10.