nerve | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

lusty nexus Mar 25, 2024, 1:59 AM

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Tethered to his trees roots
Feeling the tongue of the dirt
Flowers bloom in his nerves
Hiding seeds in his pupils
His own leaves hide the sun
He ends up on the ground
As he always does.

grim seal Mar 25, 2024, 2:02 AM

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hi! beautiful poem! not sure what kind of feedback you’re looking for, but personally, “tethered to his tree roots” is kind of redundant? its like saying “anchored to his anchor”

lusty nexus Mar 25, 2024, 2:02 AM

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the tree is meant to be a family tree

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i was basically trying to say he feels trapped by his family

pearl thunderBOT Mar 25, 2024, 2:03 AM

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*i was basically

trying to say he feels trapped

by his family*

lusty nexus Mar 25, 2024, 2:03 AM

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oh thank you haiku bot

grim seal Mar 25, 2024, 2:05 AM

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i’d still opt to write “struggling against his tree roots” or smth similar 🥲 But its great regardless

lusty nexus Mar 25, 2024, 2:06 AM

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grim seal i’d still opt to write “struggling against his tree roots” or smth similar 🥲 B...

thank you for your feedback!

#nerve