Silence and Suffer | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

cyan kelp Mar 24, 2024, 9:01 AM

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Who thought just a swim
Would just be so dim…
Fly the birds and quack the ducks,
People occupied here, greatest attribute
But here I am thinking about some,
Those mean none.
Ground full of my latest nightmares
Wonder if I could have escaped
But does it mean I have to hurt
those who stuck around?
No, it means
silence and suffer.

(I'm a newbie)

cyan kelp Mar 24, 2024, 9:20 PM

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@sturdy terrace

sturdy terrace Mar 25, 2024, 7:28 AM

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cyan kelp Who thought just a swim Would just be so dim… Fly the birds and quack the ducks,...

Hmm interesting poem, its not really straight foward in terms of message. May I ask you if you are fluent in english?
Anyway would you like some feedback in terms of structure?

cyan kelp Mar 25, 2024, 7:50 AM

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sturdy terrace Hmm interesting poem, its not really straight foward in terms of message. May I ...

Yes

sturdy terrace Mar 25, 2024, 10:53 AM

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cyan kelp Who thought just a swim Would just be so dim… Fly the birds and quack the ducks,...

I would maybe break it into stanza

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Stanzas

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Omg I am brainwashed now

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I'll comeback

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@sturdy terrace

cyan kelp Mar 25, 2024, 5:23 PM

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@sturdy terrace

sturdy terrace Mar 26, 2024, 7:57 AM

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So I would probably break it into couples. And maybe I would think about rhyme scheme

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But tbh.... Its free verse so whats the matter anyways

#Silence and Suffer