#Attrition

11 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

stark delta
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You say I'm not good enough
"I'm better than you."
You describe to me
"That the world is not meant for you."

So I sit and ponder
These words you have spoke
And I think of who I am
And what qualities I take choke

So I think
"Maybe what I am is not meant for you."
As I take note
Of all the things I am and dearly hold

So I take love, happiness, and laughter
(Since you obviously didn't want it)
Seems like two can play your game
What are the odds?

So I not for you, and you not for me
I wonder who will end up in misery?
So I wait to see if you notice
That life has no purpose
Since you started the game
Of attrition

true oasis
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Apart from some grammatical errors and a little less depth than what I usually prefer, this poem is pretty good.... I like it

stark delta
true oasis
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as in some tenses and the likes

stark delta
stark delta
#

<@&1145760802666717234>

indigo latch
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what a wonderful poem! i am glad that you found your happiness without that other. if all someone does is put you down and think they are better then yes, they are not meant for you. 😁

stark delta
raven zodiac
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1: not 'you have spoke' either 'you have spoken' or 'you spoke'
2: stanza 2 line 3, two 'and's dont look good together, id suggest removing the first one
3: doesnt look good when you start every stanza with a 'so'
4: nice flow even though it looks unbalanced, i liked it a lot

stark delta
raven zodiac
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americans 😂