If i were god

[untold smelt]

“God loves you!" a hypocritical woman spit at me in a rage, or maybe even beneath that, a disgust.
I’ve had many of the same minded people gush “I need to find god” but instead…I’m afraid he found me and left me in shambles.
For I know of him and he knows of me through the way he leads his people with such broken ideology.
The way they draw me out with love in their mind delicately with each stroke of their pencil to then hold me in their palm and crumple my very being to seem undesirable.

I have met God for he speaks to me through the bitter words of his people to remind me
Even If give him my every being i am still no more than a fun new Barbie to play house with.
I’ve found god by following the screams of hurt and horror leading me right to him.
Through every prayer he left unanswered leaving thousands devastated, millions suffering, and trillions dead.

You see if I were god there would be no cruelty for them to learn from.
For if they needed experience or knowledge i could lovingly feed it to them until inspiration and love trickled down the sides of their mouth.
For if I were God, no jealousy could occur because all they know is compassion.

Why lean on faith ?
when I am not afraid to show you I too have flaws, and I
too stand on this ground with you.
Why shun those who dont believe?
When I will show my self over and over to rejoice in our connection.
You see, if I were god being human is the reward, and the connection we have is the journey.

[young veldt]

Very nice free verse! It balances the delicate line of religion, retribution, and hypocrisy well.
However, it would have more gravitas in certain lines if you were to break it up into stanzas. (I would be down to help with this, given I like the vision and feel it can be portrayed better with some minor structural improvements.)

[untold smelt]

Yes i would absolutely love some help 🥰!

[young veldt]

Here you go! I broke it up into stanzas and fixed up any grammatical and spelling errors. This should help you convey your message better.

“God loves you!" a hypocritical woman spit at me in a rage, or maybe even beneath that, a disgust.
I’ve had many of the same minded people gush “I need to find god” but instead…I’m afraid he found me and left me in shambles.
For I know of him and he knows of me through the way he leads his people with such broken ideology.
The way they draw me out with love in their mind delicately with each stroke up their pencil to then hold me in their palm and crumple my very being to seem undesirable.

I have met God for he speaks to me through the bitter words of his people to remind me
Even If give him my every being i am still no more than a fun new Barbie to play house with.
I’ve found god by following the screams of hurt and horror leading me right to him.
Through every prayer he left unanswered leaving thousands devastated, millions suffering, and trillions dead.

You see if I were god there would be no cruelty for them to learn from.
For if they needed experience or knowledge i could lovingly feed it to them until inspiration and love trickled down the sides of their mouth.
For if I were God, no jealousy could occur because all they know is compassion.

Why I lean on faith?
When I am not afraid to show you I too have flaws, and I
too stand on this ground with you.
Why shun those who dont believe?
When I will show my self over and over to rejoice in our connection.
You see, if I were god being human is the reward, and the connection we have is the journey.

I generally kept the tone of the poem the same, and was wary of altering the message of the poem itself. But I fixed any lingering structural and linguistic errors that diluted your message, and made some minor changes and correction to the structure of the text.

[untold smelt]

Awsome sauce ty sm! Only part i changed is why? I lean on faith ik it sounds silly but the question was why lean on faith? But i absolutely loved the help ty so so much

[young veldt]

No problem! I misread that question there, feel free to change it!

(I thought you were affirming your previous point at the end of the stanza before it. I read it as “Why would they all know compassion instead of jealousy? (because) I believe in faith.” Just misread the question you were going for, my bad.)

[untold smelt]

Yeah i totally get that 😭 but yeah i definitely do not belive in faith im a spiritual athiest and the poem represents that god is a mafasation of an idea of person through the cruel acts of people and how a god should truley be and shed light on what unconditional love should represent! Im really glad you enjoyed my poem youve been such a great help thank you for taking the time to fix that for me you are so wonderful

[young veldt]

No problem. Glad I can help you convey your vision!