Twilight's Descent: Supernova (2/3) -Rider

[obsidian wharf]

first draft, could use improvements (or even additions, cuz it feels short at only 8 stanzas)

[iron shore]

Wow this is sad and really moving

[obsidian wharf]

Twilight's Descent: Supernova (2/3) -Rider

@viscid cloak

boss

[heady dagger]

Supernova, man i love this title

[obsidian wharf]

yea is cool

[viscid cloak]

4th para second line, amazing narration

i feel the rush as i read through the whole poem, is the rush intentional?

[obsidian wharf]

"from all ive made grin" this one?

[viscid cloak]

like as it come to an end it goes super fast

[viscid cloak]

mhm

[obsidian wharf]

the poem or the story

[viscid cloak]

or maybe ur simplifying ur words in the end

[viscid cloak]

the poem

[obsidian wharf]

whats special about it

[obsidian wharf]

maybe this is the reason

[viscid cloak]

the ones you held dear, are the ones who betray u, this is the main idea, and yet somehow u managed to land a subtle blow to this harsh truth, and that is what i consider 'art'

[viscid cloak]

okay

well for the improvements, all i can say is maintain the complexity/ambiguity and give a direct blow at the end to give your readers a sharp jab

if u want it that way

or keep it mellow and subtle if u dont want it as sharp

[obsidian wharf]

i want it to be a slight cushion before i kill it in the final part

[viscid cloak]

and try and merge seventh and eight stanza

[viscid cloak]

hmm, okay

[viscid cloak]

by merge i mean find combine the idea and get rid of the unnecessary parts

[obsidian wharf]

i cant do that, theres something special in the 7th that deserves its own

[viscid cloak]

To be torn apart by the confusion of who should be thrown out the window,
will it be me or my sanity?
or are they the same entity?

[viscid cloak]

oh okay then fine! no worries

[obsidian wharf]

let me know if you can see what i mean

[obsidian wharf]

it says my sanity out the window, meaning my sanity is out the window.... 😂

what do you think of 7th and 8th

[viscid cloak]

see i dont know, i jsut find the fifth stanza too generic or a filler even[sprry if thats harsh but im tryna remain honest] i have read the same concept everywhere in many poems

[viscid cloak]

they are fine

[obsidian wharf]

filler?

[viscid cloak]

eight is pretty good

[viscid cloak]

mhm filler

[obsidian wharf]

not that good huh?

[obsidian wharf]

duno what that is

[viscid cloak]

hmm, its like an unnecessary. im feeling, or maybe out of place, even the last three lines of this fifth stanza are fune, but the first one....well doesnt seem right to me

[obsidian wharf]

the first two lines are common yes, but the second two not really, and they are meant to compliment the 4th stanza before moving on, showing frustration and anger that turns a soft star sour

[viscid cloak]

yeah see thats what i said

the last three lines are fine

but the first one makes it appear dull

[obsidian wharf]

what would you suggest

[viscid cloak]

hmm

lemme process

one moment

okay clear this up, do the fifth stanza last two lines mean,"ull pay for ur actions?"

[obsidian wharf]

subject to interpretation, though that is one of the meanings one can see in them

[viscid cloak]

okay okay...hmmm

[obsidian wharf]

think about this, 7th stanza 2nd line

[obsidian wharf]

and what of the poem my guy?

[viscid cloak]

"Are you're needs satisfied?
Or am I no more potent of satiating what you require?"

[obsidian wharf]

second one way too long
first one goes immediately to rage instead of disbelief/shock

[viscid cloak]

ahhh, yeah, i have been told my poems come across blunt

well then let me try softening it

a bit

[not my forte]

"Would you consider me a friend?
Or a doormat?
or would a doormat perhaps satiate what you require?"

is that subtle enoguh?

[you may change the object doormt into any other thing humans commomly use and dispose]

[sorry for the typos]

[obsidian wharf]

Was i not a companion?

[viscid cloak]

hmmm......too generic

[viscid cloak]

im tryna make it as unique as the other liens u wrote

[obsidian wharf]

how about a burnt out firework

@viscid cloak kris i might have cooked ^

@lost snow

[viscid cloak]

OOOH CAUSE LIKE

[obsidian wharf]

yepyep

you see it

[viscid cloak]

STAR IS IN THE SKY, FIREWORK IS IN THE SKY

MAKES SENSE
DAMN

[obsidian wharf]

YEA

[viscid cloak]

OKAY OKAY

COOK

[obsidian wharf]

the synergy is there

[viscid cloak]

faster!

[obsidian wharf]

um

uh

[viscid cloak]

oh hello from my end Sreya!

[heady dagger]

Ahhhh betrayal, the poem shows impermanence and betrayal.
Also the imagery of fading away and feeling disposable creates a poigant atmosphere
Supernova creates a sense of mised opportunities
Poems nice, it captures a deep sense of melancholy, reflecting on the complexities of human relationships nd struggles
Well written, tho i liked the first part more

[viscid cloak]

oh, honestly i like part two more

the end is satisfying

even if it isnt the end

cause he got a part three too, right?

[viscid cloak]

if you join that is

[obsidian wharf]

Am I just a burnt-out firework?
Do I not have what you require?
Ripples pulse around and about,
your actions you'll walk beside.

[obsidian wharf]

||black hole||

[viscid cloak]

YEAH!

FIRE

this gives ur poem a whole u dimension

cause like ripples are usaully used with fluids

but u used it with firework

[obsidian wharf]

should i change it

[viscid cloak]

AND IT MAKES SENSE CAUSE THE FLOW OF FIREWORK

AND RIPPLES
NO NO

[obsidian wharf]

Sparks

[viscid cloak]

dont

NO

[obsidian wharf]

OKOK

[viscid cloak]

keep the ripples

[obsidian wharf]

best friend synergy 🤝 dap

[viscid cloak]

whats a dap, imma fist bump i guess 🤜

[idk what dap means lmao]

[obsidian wharf]

wait

[obsidian wharf]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/t5pMP5UmNyA

SREYA

[viscid cloak]

OHH THATS A DAP HUH>!

I KNOW WHAT IT IS

lol

i didnt know its called that

lol

[obsidian wharf]

dap back

[viscid cloak]

yeah!

Sreya i havent read ur poems

[lost snow]

@obsidian wharf PRINCESS THIS SO NICEEE. ME LOVE ME LOVE. THIS SAD AND IT CONTRADICTS WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. I THOUGHT IT'D BE HEPPI HEPPI. BUT YOU MADE MY MIND GO SUPERNOVA. AMAZING JOB. BUT SCATTERED STARDUST REMAINS MY FAV.

I rlly liked the last stanza.

[obsidian wharf]

sorry sreya but its called twilights descent for a reason

[viscid cloak]

princess?!

wait

Shin breaker, ur a princess?

[obsidian wharf]

basically her princess

[obsidian wharf]

and just call me rider

[viscid cloak]

PRINCESS!?!?!?

[obsidian wharf]

idk ask her

[viscid cloak]

okay ride- BUT NAHH IMMA CALL U PRINCESS TOO

HAHA

lmao

[obsidian wharf]

please no... there was a reason you were best friend and she was just "sreya"

[inner wraith]

*please no... there was a

reason you were best friend and

she was just "sreya"*

- mustang1386

[viscid cloak]

HELL NAH THE BOT

[viscid cloak]

okay then ri[cant control the urge to say princess]der

[obsidian wharf]

sigh

[viscid cloak]

PRINCES-

NAHH ur gonna get trolled from me now on, watch out

[obsidian wharf]

cant call me princess if i never talk to you again 😄

[viscid cloak]

whats heppi?

[obsidian wharf]

happy

[viscid cloak]

heh, but that situation aint gonna arise heh

[viscid cloak]

oh lol[am i dumb?]

[obsidian wharf]

dont challenge

[obsidian wharf]

no, you arent her princess so you wouldnt know

[viscid cloak]

Aw man

[lost snow]

Yes yes ik

[lost snow]

NOH HE MY PRINCESS BACK OFF

[lost snow]

Happy

[lost snow]

I'm just "sreya"?

[obsidian wharf]

now you are both just "sreya" and just "kris"

[lost snow]

Aww dammit

You're still my princess tho

Here's a cuppycake for you

🧁

[obsidian wharf]

nobody who calls me their bbg gets a title, thats just...

[viscid cloak]

oh, im demoted huh? no poems f-HAHA LMAO

BBG?!?!?! GET OUT

NAHH MATE

[obsidian wharf]

ask her

[obsidian wharf]

time for 🪢

[viscid cloak]

whats that emoji[okay yeah im convinced, im reall dumb[

[obsidian wharf]

@lyric pecan

[obsidian wharf]

suicide

[viscid cloak]

WAIT I GAVE U THAT POEM

[lost snow]

Riders my bbg.

[viscid cloak]

AND SO MUCH PHILOSOPHY

BRO

COMEON

[obsidian wharf]

dont call me princess please

[viscid cloak]

fine fine i wont\

[obsidian wharf]

sigh

[obsidian wharf]

best friend

[lost snow]

@viscid cloak he's my princess, he can be your bbg take that title

[viscid cloak]

but like DONT U DARE IGNORE THAT PHILOSPHY I TOOK SO MUCH BRAIN POWER TO RIGHT

[viscid cloak]

OH HELL NAH\

[lost snow]

😭😂

[obsidian wharf]

sreya &*$ off

[viscid cloak]

I AINT BBGing ANYONE

[obsidian wharf]

good kris

[lost snow]

Shin breaking coming to break my shin next

[obsidian wharf]

i do not fight girls

||last time i did that, i had to withstand many many kicks to the groin||

[lost snow]

😭👍

[viscid cloak]

BUT I FIGHT GUYS

MWAHAHAHA

nvm, guys fight me back too

its kinda sad at the end

anyway

[obsidian wharf]

this is sad too

[viscid cloak]

lmao i accidentally indirectly did that[NO ILL INTENTIONS WHATSOEVER. Context: we were playing football, i got super into the game and kicked it to my classmates well u know, and yeah ]

i did apologise quite a lot

[obsidian wharf]

i was there to give them experience for their tournament as well, and they couldnt aim their kicks

[viscid cloak]

but i rememebr that day he gave me a very threatenign warning, but he was chill after that day

phew

[obsidian wharf]

that guy sounds like my kind of energy

[viscid cloak]

kinda forgot what he said

but i did get hella scared

[obsidian wharf]

that guy definitely sounds like my kind of energy

[obsidian wharf]

give star

[viscid cloak]

oh okay!

[obsidian wharf]

you may call me princess once

[viscid cloak]

oh and u give me a star if u find my poetry worthy of it alr?

[viscid cloak]

oh well, sorry, but i dont think ur a princess

[obsidian wharf]

thank god

[viscid cloak]

right after well

but seriously u dont give off princess vibes

u give off, well uhh, i-still-dont-know-you-much vibes

there!

[obsidian wharf]

that part is obvious but it doesnt stop sreya

@copper perch @sturdy holly

[lost snow]

Makes him a sassy princess.

[lost snow]

You mah homie, I luv to tease you 😭

[viscid cloak]

s-sass?

o-oh

i guess we both got different meanings of sass

[lost snow]

Yep

I'll do anything to make rider sassy, even change the actual definition

[viscid cloak]

oh damn, ur pretty fixated

[obsidian wharf]

I'm so confused

[viscid cloak]

yeah cause U AINT READING MY POEMS @obsidian wharf

[obsidian wharf]

I WAS BREAKING MY FAST £&* OFF

[minor elk]

@minor elk

[oblique trail]

Love it for how it flows, how it's worded, I just love it!

[minor elk]

I'm out of critics anyway, this one is hella good! So damnnnnn nice! Loved the imagery and the usage of words...! Can't wait for the party 3 though!!!!

[obsidian wharf]

Part 3 is dark

[obsidian wharf]

.

[minor elk]

I love dark things 😻

[minor elk]

Damn 😩

[obsidian wharf]

Dang it

[obsidian wharf]

@fast vine

[obsidian wharf]

Unfortunate

[minor elk]

Why nah it's fantastic

[obsidian wharf]

Lmao you don't get the joke

[minor elk]

Sed my brain is not braining thn

[obsidian wharf]

Because I'm not black lol

#Heartbroken

[oblique trail]

Yeah same, it usually turns out like a beautiful poem where if written right it's like you can almost feel what you believe what the writer felt writing it.

[minor elk]

Lmfao 🤣

[obsidian wharf]

Not you too 😢

[minor elk]

Yes it does in an unique way.. but the dark I am mentioning is diff lol

[obsidian wharf]

Time for another sad poem

[minor elk]

Lol enjoy

Darkly

[oblique trail]

[obsidian wharf]

Nah jk, I don't write about females

🤷‍♂️

[minor elk]

Write about males then (darkly)

[obsidian wharf]

Astaghfirullah (God forgive me) I am Muslim man with no homosexual urges (mild bromance allowed)

I'll write about @oblique trail

[minor elk]

Did I say something wrong? Lmao 🤣

[obsidian wharf]

Nah all good

[oblique trail]

Oh god

[obsidian wharf]

Hurt my feelings

[oblique trail]

This is gonna be the second poem written about me in the server

[obsidian wharf]

I wrote about jass alrady

[obsidian wharf]

Mine will be more genuine and heartfelt

[oblique trail]

That I do not doubt

https://tenor.com/view/grimace-cat-grimace-cat-cats-cat-fun-gif-17582724

[obsidian wharf]

@lyric pecan

[obsidian wharf]

@boreal herald

[boreal herald]

Oh I love this one more than the last one more relatable ig.... but it's great I love the "am I just a burnt out firework line" cuz usually fireworks used to show happy feelings or excitement very unique

[obsidian wharf]

Helo

[obsidian wharf]

Anything to change?

@boreal herald part 2 of the series also starboarded please!

That would be cool tho

[boreal herald]

I would say that the 7th stanza 1st line is too generic for you ik you can do better leaving that it's perfect.... anyways I could be wrong

[obsidian wharf]

There's something special about that stanza

It stays

[boreal herald]

Ic ..... okie

[boreal herald]

And me talking about the 1st line not the whole stanza

[obsidian wharf]

Ik

[boreal herald]

Okie

[viscid cloak]

oh @obsidian wharf can u make it ripples of smoke???

that way it would make it more clear

[minor elk]

Man got superpowers.... Damn all your poems are in starboard!!!

[obsidian wharf]

Let's leave as is 😅

[obsidian wharf]

Is only 3 of them, and this one made it to the starboard because it's about star

[minor elk]

Bcoz it's good idiot

[obsidian wharf]

I'll take it I guess

[minor elk]

Good

[obsidian wharf]

how do i have more stars than hearts

[lost snow]

Cuz you're a star

[obsidian wharf]

no u

[viscid cloak]

ur lucky, i got like one star so far lol

or wait, im being wrong, ur 'talented' not lucky

sorry

[obsidian wharf]

It's that slip of tongue that says the truth

[obsidian wharf]

Damn I just realised this poems garbage, I gotta redo it

[viscid cloak]

ofcourse not

well i mean if it only gets better than what u have written i dont mind

but like the seventh stanza and the fifth stanza, dont burn them, they are already cooked

[hard fiber]

wow another good poem from you ! the rhyme schemes are really good here. I like your writing style a lot in these poems btw

[obsidian wharf]

guys i made modifications

@viscid cloak

@minor elk

@lost snow also changed what you said

@iron shore

[keen stone]

I like the continuation of your original piece, although I will say the first part is stronger and resonated to me more, nice work.

[viscid cloak]

okay, mic drop

THIS IS THE LEVEL I EXPECT FROM YOU RIDER!

[obsidian wharf]

what did you think of the lines

[viscid cloak]

much better than the previous one

adds depth to your poetry

and now they are more connected

[obsidian wharf]

what you think of stanza 6 line 4

@viscid cloak

also stanza 2 and 7

i made it longer so its 10 stanzas instead of 8

[viscid cloak]

its more relative now, now that u have removed ripples...and the fact you have made sure to change the purpose of the word fire in the lines, the smooth transition from being a fire of life to the fires that remaine on ur pyre

[viscid cloak]

noticed

[obsidian wharf]

.

[obsidian wharf]

you mentioned smoke didnt you

https://tenor.com/view/bornskywalker-dap-me-up-woody-woody-handshake-woody-toy-story-gif-26021440

[viscid cloak]

as per what i feel, stanza two acts as a filler, acting as-oh wait uhh

[obsidian wharf]

it fits decently between 1 and 3

[viscid cloak]

uhh, look as per what i feel, the flow is not like smooth from first-second-third stanza

like first is about you, the second shifts the focus to everyone else, and the third, its about u again

and the first and third have complex wordplays, but the second one...

[obsidian wharf]

yea i wasnt 100% sure about adding that there, what would you suggest, also the first isnt about you

[viscid cloak]

yeah!

[obsidian wharf]

ripples is stanza 7 now

[viscid cloak]

hmmm, it does feel more like one a personal level

[viscid cloak]

yeah yeah noticed

[obsidian wharf]

yea, should i remove it altogether

[viscid cloak]

i dont find the flow from stanza two to three

[obsidian wharf]

.

[viscid cloak]

hmmm, i have a very drastic uhh suggestion, ull prolly get mad at me

[viscid cloak]

yeah and plus one more alteration uhh

ofcourse not!

[obsidian wharf]

lame

[viscid cloak]

uh can i tell?

[obsidian wharf]

lets see it

[viscid cloak]

so, uh swap the places of the first stanza and third?

remove the second

dont do it here

do it on a draft and read

maybe it makes sense?

[obsidian wharf]

but the first line of the third stanza is literally made based on the first

[viscid cloak]

and for the third stanza , first line, remove the but

[obsidian wharf]

this i cant understand

[viscid cloak]

hmm

wait

[obsidian wharf]

i understand removing 2nd but the swapping is not a thing

i want it to make a point and then relate to our star

[viscid cloak]

What a benevolent star I've been!
Even in the star-studded space,
clocks do strike twelve,
my midnight is showing its face.

But easily noticeable or not,
depending on your benevolence,
everything fades away,
down rains a drop of consequence.

[viscid cloak]

okay

no worries

but uhh

again

il be honest here i dont find the relation from the first to third stanza

[obsidian wharf]

the but in line 5 is not making sense

[viscid cloak]

hmmm

Look

the stanzas are nice, but the connection

the connection is not fully formed i feel

the relation between stanza one and three

[viscid cloak]

now?

[obsidian wharf]

let me explain, you went disbelief/denial --> realisation --> another realisation?

[viscid cloak]

hmm now wait wait

if u put it that way i dk

Okay

look

first remove the second paragraph, the denial thing

its not fitting anywhere in the poem

if thats done

[obsidian wharf]

if we swap the two of them its like the writer is making a point and then relating that point to our star

[viscid cloak]

yeah

okay look let me give it one more read

OKAY, better suggestion, remove the but in the second para first line and add it to third para

Easily noticed or not,
depending on your benevolence,
everything fades away,
down rains a drop of consequence.

What a benevolent star I've been!
Even in the star-studded space.
Guess clocks do strike twelve,
now that my midnight is showing its face.

But all of my happy days
are now long gone.
I spend my time, drifting still.
My line is done and drawn.

how bout now?

[obsidian wharf]

Sure

I don't see the point in removing the but

Kris?

[viscid cloak]

yes im back

uh

hi

[viscid cloak]

look i added the but in third stanza

look

and i kinda uhh made a lil alterations for the smooth flow

like

alr gotta go for lunch

[obsidian wharf]

Yea I'm dumb

feels like i cant even write a poem without this girl 🤦‍♂️

[boreal herald]

Me more dumb... me can't write without your help👀

[obsidian wharf]

you asked me for help once

[boreal herald]

Yeah and it was so bad I had to change so much

🤷‍♀️

[obsidian wharf]

it was not bad, i had to redo this whole thing cuz it was garbage

[inner wraith]

*it was not bad, i

had to redo this whole thing

cuz it was garbage*

- Shin Breaker (Rider)

[boreal herald]

🧢

[obsidian wharf]

i promise

[boreal herald]

Sure rider...

[obsidian wharf]

im fasting, it means i cant lie

[boreal herald]

Hmm

[obsidian wharf]

this girl

[boreal herald]

What

[obsidian wharf]

Hmm

[viscid cloak]

nah nah comeon, i didnt do anything at all, its all your words

[boreal herald]

???

[inner wraith]

*nah nah comeon, i

didnt do anything at

all, its all your words*

- krizia__

[viscid cloak]

i have never fasted in my life

[obsidian wharf]

because you not muslim

[obsidian wharf]

cough

[viscid cloak]

how the hell is this a haiku, and yesterday i tried so hard to make a haiku

[viscid cloak]

i guess, but i never went on diets too

[boreal herald]

Me not a Muslim yet I have fasted👀

[obsidian wharf]

this bot broke

[viscid cloak]

i have unknowing fasted once i think

like one day didnt eat antyhing til dinner

[obsidian wharf]

Cant make a haiku kris will need my help today cuz i can haiku

[viscid cloak]

prolly

[inner wraith]

*Cant make a haiku

kris will need my help today

cuz i can haiku*

- Shin Breaker (Rider)

[viscid cloak]

cause forgot to eat breakfast

[viscid cloak]

LMAO

nah nah in the end i eventually made one

wait ill put it here

[viscid cloak]

and then was too upset to eat lunch

[obsidian wharf]

she is unable but fortunately for her rider has arrived

[boreal herald]

Nah me has fasted many times and knowingly

[viscid cloak]

too upset the whole time and then realised when i ate dinner i didnt eat all day

[obsidian wharf]

she is unable now but fortunately for her rider has arrived

this bot broke

[viscid cloak]

lmao

wait

[boreal herald]

Damn .... that has happened to me too especially when I'm alone and not under supervision I just forget to eat

[viscid cloak]

Withering absent,
The rolling wind, I speak with,
drive me home, will you?

[inner wraith]

*Withering absent,

The rolling wind, I speak with,

drive me home, will you?*

- krizia__

[viscid cloak]

yeah this the haiku i wrote yesterday

[obsidian wharf]

crenge

[viscid cloak]

https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1220372900578725899

this was the thing

i wrote mine in the comments lmao

[viscid cloak]

damn

i usually love food[lIKE WHO DOESNT]

but then when im mad i jsut dont wanna eat

[obsidian wharf]

i usually starve myself, i usually need someone to cook or i wont eat

[viscid cloak]

BRUH

cooking is simple

not hard at all

[boreal herald]

Yeah idk me just hyperfixates and forgets about everything even drinking water sometimes

[boreal herald]

Same

[boreal herald]

Damn... u can't cook a simple meal

[viscid cloak]

oh i cant live without water, i keep refilling my bottle in school

[boreal herald]

Yeah

[obsidian wharf]

i told you, im garbage at everything that doesnt involve beating people up

[boreal herald]

Nah me when hyperfixated on something forgets everything else... there could be a disaster around me ... I would t even notice

[boreal herald]

Hmm ig I'll have to cook then 👀

[viscid cloak]

shutup

[obsidian wharf]

me when im hyperfixated around me... im not

[viscid cloak]

look

cooking is a basic skill everyone has to know

[obsidian wharf]

here we go

[viscid cloak]

you gotta learn how to cook

[boreal herald]

??

[viscid cloak]

TwT IT IS OKAY?!

[obsidian wharf]

goodbye guys

[boreal herald]

Ikr it's a basic skill

[viscid cloak]

sorry! fine fine

[obsidian wharf]

yea keep on piling up the emotional damage

bruh

[boreal herald]

Damn sorry .... won't mention cooking

[boreal herald]

🥲 okie

[obsidian wharf]

nah im going anyway

i dont feel too good

[viscid cloak]

....fine

i guess

[obsidian wharf]

my inside hurts, bye

[viscid cloak]

oh

well uh

[idk what to say]

drink water, would that help?

[boreal herald]

Uhm Dm??

[viscid cloak]

damn

okay

ill leave the chat

bye

[obsidian wharf]

shes just telling me not to go

[viscid cloak]

yeah no its fine

[obsidian wharf]

you can message bones

[viscid cloak]

no its fine

im in school waiting for my com-and here i go on with my rants

bye

[obsidian wharf]

love you homie, sorry for ruining whatever mood we had going on in this convo

[viscid cloak]

nah nah its chill dw

[sacred plover]

Wonderful! @viscid cloak has just pregressed to level 12!

[viscid cloak]

oh lol

[upbeat charm]

but despite all that, a star cant be killed by anything besides itself. And without an enemy, it slowly loses its worth on its own, which is pretty sad

the way it slowly dies is pretty slow and disgraceful but right before the end, it makes one last show and ive seen some clips, supernovas are so cool

[viscid cloak]

its not disgraceful for me, i feel its rather the nature of it that is spendid

they dont lose their worth, the age

any beautiful thing has to age and thus, anything that ages is indeed beautiful

[upbeat charm]

i can see it that way too. some beautiful things only come from age, like dwarf planets

[lost snow]

@obsidian wharf when's the 3rd part being dropped??

[obsidian wharf]

I got distracted and am working on something really nice on the side

[lyric pecan]

Wow.... This is amazing! I loved the imagery you used... And the metaphors r simply divine... As a poem it could always use more, but from the pov of meaning this is quite profound.... The way you've acknowledged your mortality in the 2nd and 3rd stanza... People turning away in times of need... The despair of feeling useless... The consequences and the mark u left behind... The correlation with stars... All of this is simply awe-inspiring..... I loved the 2nd stanza... Honestly i loved the whole poem.... Amazing work ✨✨