#Poetic Dreams 1/3 by Vindicator

86 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

wanton skiff
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*Dreams, dreams, dreams.
What does it mean ?
My eyes are mesmerized

By the gorgeous axolotls.
The splashing of water
Taking my breath away

As I gaze at the sunrise.
The inspiration of light prevails.
Poetic dreams come true !

The poppies sway beautifully
Like a twinkling star at twilight.
The owls harmonize with me.

The blue ocean glistens in joy.
Such fascinating blue skies.
The bluebirds will thrive.

The gold wheat gleams in the valley.
The birch trees smile and whistle
As their stems rest so peacefully.

My poetry: green as a leafbird.
My words shall dazzle till dawn and,
I shall rise like the white angels above.

A dream so infinitely majestic.
A paradise that I shall dwell in.
The white clouds. I see the white light*.

turbid veldt
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I really liked this poem! I’ve noticed that with your work you use a lot of repetition and then add small phrases in between the areas of repetition! Your poems are also usually very happy. Like you use a lot of expressive language like exclamation points. I think this poem tho is more like descriptive and more in depth in a way! But I recommend trying to write poems of different kinds like sad, mad stuff like that!

wanton skiff
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yess thank you i did cover a wide range of topics

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with my poems tho

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i covered forgiveness , inspiration, motivation ect... and sadness, self confidence

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love

turbid veldt
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oh okay! Maybe I didn’t see lol. But like with your most recent one about pain and rain it followed a pattern of repetition and then motivation but I meant like just experimenting with different styles of poetry. So like instead of a lot of repetition and then something else like going deeper into one topic kind of like this poem (sorry if that made no sense 😭)

wanton skiff
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like i have a haunted poem

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and i have a racial empowerment

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one too

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ill link it

turbid veldt
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Oh okay!

wanton skiff
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i added 1 more line ot this piece

turbid veldt
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Okay I wrote a reply for what I meant but then I realized it made no sense-

wanton skiff
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oh lol lmao

turbid veldt
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But like I just feel liked for example for freedom, yes it’s all about one topic but each sentence is like its own thing yk

wanton skiff
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oh yeah i can see that

turbid veldt
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Yeah

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Maybe try writing poems like instead about a topic of sadness or happiness/etc…try using words that create that feeling

wanton skiff
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and yellow

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they both express happiness and sadness but there will be more poems talking about those topics

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in the near future

turbid veldt
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Ooo okay!

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ig like a good way to say it is like you could also try experimenting with adding more raw emotion into ur pieces!

wanton skiff
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OH ok

random condor
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Just my opinion You could use more metaphor and poetic devices. It's almost like you just describing something.

wanton skiff
wooden tulip
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@wooden tulip

wanton skiff
wooden tulip
# wanton skiff ?

That was so I can remember to review as there are other poems in the queue too, apologies for the delay

wanton skiff
wooden tulip
# wanton skiff *Dreams, dreams, dreams. What does it mean ? My eyes are mesmerized By the gor...

This is an okay-ish piece, the choice of words is good, the starting stanza gives the poem a dairy entry type feel, although I don't see any metaphor and the poem is pretty straight to the point which really doesn't make the poem too eye catching, although they could be compromised but they mostly will enhance the poem, overall all I could say is this is a fabulous straight forward poem, a 7/10, I would suggest making a good structure out of it, the lines are scrambled randomly which confuses the reader.

wanton skiff
wooden tulip
clever vortex
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I Agree with keshav, the start of the poem is giving diary vibes, but there doesn't seem to be too many uses of metaphors tbh, although that being said, the imagery you give of is captivating I loved the imagery of the flowers in the fourth stanza ngl and the repetition in te last stanza

wanton skiff
clever vortex
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No problem! :D

wanton skiff
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Poetic Dreams 1/2

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@clever vortex

wanton skiff
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@quaint oxide

clever vortex
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Really good

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Some of my fav work from u

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But btw

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U wrote keeps instead of keep twice

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U need to correct that

wanton skiff
clever vortex
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U tagged me

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lol

clever vortex
wanton skiff
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i forgot

clever vortex
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I see

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Imma read part 2 now

wanton skiff
wanton skiff
wanton skiff
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@novel pendant

novel pendant
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LOVE the repetition of the word — dreams

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It brings your poem to life

wanton skiff
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Poetic Dreams 1/3

wanton skiff
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.

wanton skiff
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@novel pendant

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@clever vortex

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@boreal coral

wanton skiff
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@deep kettle I revamped this poem

deep kettle
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Woah

wanton skiff
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@clever vortex

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@cursive blaze

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@hidden mango

hidden mango
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I got your poems on hold ma professor
I wanna re-read them again

wanton skiff
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@clever vortex

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@steep basalt

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@zealous orbit

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@pale bluff

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@maiden tulip

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@low slate

pale bluff
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one thing i noticed, is the use of metaphors and i think fe people come back to read them and pay attention to them, i think they are always there up for a steal and do tell me how you find new metaphors, it is by reading the poem of other authors on web. This is poem is about the poetic dream. Each stanza, you go around comparing them to some emotion or some qualities of your poetry. i won't break it more than this

wanton skiff
clever vortex
wanton skiff
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Poetic Dreams 1/3 by Vindicator

wanton skiff
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