"A Color Unknown"

[safe hawk]

criticism is welcome

[sour trench]

Omg I love this!

Specific things I like:
"A color unseen"
"A soul as fragile as china"
"Gripping on the illusion of beauty"
I like the contrast between this color and the narrator's overall dull world
"A color that blazes everything alight for her colorblind world"
Also yasss I'm all here for sunrise imagery. I love the metaphors in imagery of that specific stanza.
Amazing last line!

I guess that's how you sparingly use rhymes for impact cause that had such an enormous impact

[safe hawk]

Is there anywhere you would reccomend for me to revise more on?

[sour trench]

Ummmm idk it's pretty good but I'd say I guess maybe you could've like maybe elaborated more on why the weight of the world has crushed her to the point where this idea of such a color of wonder acts as such of an escapism for her but like idk you do that pretty good already cause it's a really good poem

Omg also I love how yet again I found a rhyme on someone else's poem that reminds me of something I wrote

"Why is it that she seeks a color unseen"
Reminds me of
"Evergreen is a feeling unseen"

[safe hawk]

this used to be the color of happiness😭 , but happiness didn't quite work

I was thinking of the speaker as colorblind, since often those that lack something, have something to make up for it if you get what I mean

[sour trench]

Oh yeah you're right idk i was really grasping to find something to critique tbh 😭

[safe hawk]

it's fine 🫂 , I'm bad at critiquing as well😭

[sour trench]

Ikr!