Moon's Love

[wet plinth]

Moon's love was like a war
If it can too close
It will erupt...

But moon wanted to say hello
As inside
Both of them were being shallow...

Moon tried to come close
But earth stopped him
Telling him the cause...

Now moon sits in the corner
Waiting for earth
Earth engraved on it's heart
Knowing loves worth...

[obsidian slate]

I like the story here!!! It would be interesting to see more adjectives and imagery played with, or a more creative metaphor for the moon and earth.

Love it regardless!!!

[opal pumice]

Wonderful! @obsidian slate has just pregressed to level 1!

[wet plinth]

Thanks for your feedback i will see what I can do...

[junior sorrel]

wow

nice!

It's wonderful how you keep referring to yourself as moon, and then made the object of your love the Earth

However
The readers will not realize this unless you put smth like "by moon" after the poem (which I recommend against, cause more confusion the better)
It would be nice if you went ahead and put a few things from the actual moon's perspective, admiring the actual Earth, and then if possible, in the very next stanza put something about you admiring your own lover irl
this will cause a nice contrast and also readers will think that there is something of the sort that moon and Earth are being personified, but will people ever think the other way? That the poet is the moon and the one they chase after is the Earth