"Whispers of a Silent World"

[sturdy lily]

I really like this poem. These are real thoughts that are projected straight onto my screen. The thing is, it's always the subject matter that makes a poem a poem. Here, you're expressing the truth of this world, making this more than just a collection of words, but a poem. I would only add a bit of figurative language, but overall, this poem is excellent. Good job!

[humble hare]

Thank you very much 🥺

[pliant talon]

^^ to continue this thought, I agree I like the short staunch approach to each line and sentence. Your punctuation is deliberate and flows into the next thought.

short, but impactful

[grave burrow]

You reused a few words in a way that eased into repetitive territory, but it’s topic is compelling and I enjoyed it.

Perhaps if you used a different word for “world” once or twice it would be a little better, like “this place doesn’t allow crying either.” Just a suggestion :)

[obsidian talon]

what parts of this poem do u think u need help/comments on?

[humble hare]

Thanks for reading this poem 🥺

[humble hare]

Thank you , I'll definitely improve next time 🐰

[humble hare]

I lack experience🥺 so pls tell me where should I work to improve myself🐰

[obsidian talon]

alright

i really liked your first stanza, and your poem over is really relatable! however i think the line: "After all, the world is just like this, isn't it? " is a bit awkward, perhaps rewording to make it flow better. thats just me though

[humble hare]

Thanks for your precious feedback, I'll definitely improve next time 🐰

[grim cave]

I would add something similar to maybe something you can get lost in. Like your head, woods, things like that. Take to mind if it hinders your creative process don’t worry about taking it

It’s really good though sorry if it’s bad advice

[west sluice]

well overall the subject part is good, you can add more symphonic words to make this a perfect poem

[humble hare]

Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate your suggestion and will gracefully incorporate more symphonic words to elevate the poetic essence of the subject.✨

[humble hare]

Thanks for your precious feedback✨

[supple night]

haha sooo cool feels like u felt it by heart ?

or had a similiar feeling to this

?

[glad fossil]

This poem is so relatable

It is like when you have to smile even though you feel sad inside. It can be so hard sometimes

I wish we did not have to do that as a society

[supple night]

ikr

[humble hare]

Thanks noona 🥺

[humble hare]

Thanks noona 🥺✨

[supple night]

but the fact he is young and was to feel those emotions honestly its a good thing!
i hope poem's becomes a way of expressing urself soo good yuji brother

[supple night]

😭

[humble hare]

age don't teach anything but life surely does 🥺✨

[supple night]

😭 brother i hope u are doing okay

[humble hare]

I'm doing well don't worry 🐰

[supple night]

👊

thats good

[humble hare]

✨🐰😄

[supple night]

😊

[wet abyss]

I really loved this poem and somewhat related to the lines, this poem resonates on how the world has no place for the weak and pays no attention to other's pain, this poem challenges the regulation of the world and breaks the culture of being tough (or acting like it). Especially loved the "ultimately, telling lies is also necessary here, isn't it?" Line, it shows how if a person opens up he'll be subjected to taunts or is afraid of making others worry, it's a good 8/10 poem however, It would be better to extend the poem and elaborate on this topic in more detail and depth, plus you can consider putting some rhymes too so the poem is more reachable. Thank you for the patience (studies go BRRRRRRRRRR)

@humble hare

[humble hare]

"Gratitude blooms in the garden of my words, as your eyes danced through the verses I penned " Thanks for reading my poem.... ✨

[waxen dew]

@humble hare is good. Really makes me think

[humble hare]

@waxen dew thanks broo 🥺For devoting your valuable time to read my verse, I extend my gratitude, I'm gald that it found favor with you.

[waxen dew]

No problem

[humble hare]

@waxen dew ✨👍

[waxen dew]

Oo Tq

[humble hare]

@waxen dew https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1198261922135560212 broo feedback

[waxen dew]

sure i could do a more detailed review some other time if you would like,

[humble hare]

Yeaaa 😭 don't ask just do itt broo @waxen dew 👍

[humble hare]

@hexed thistle

[hexed thistle]

Awww this one is nice! I like it, however I think I would have something to change. Your message is really nice, Ill definitely gonna inspire in you.
I think I would put there more imagery. For example:
I can't even cry
To:
My heart can't cry a single drop of dissapoitment

You know what I mean, overall its good!

[humble hare]

@hexed thistle Thank you broo for taking your time to read my poem.... ✨🌙alsooo....Tq for pointing out the mistakes in my poem...I value your feedback, nd I'll certainly keep it in mind to enhance my skills in future poems.... ✨🌙👍

[humble hare]

@boreal harness broo i would really appreciate your precious feedback on my poem....

[boreal harness]

This is deep.

I can kinda relate to the feeling of needing to hide, to lie, to conceal. And I like how this poem describes these as adjacent to eachother

Favorite line is "this world doesn't allow crying anymore"

[humble hare]

@boreal harness thanks brother for reading my poem.... nd are you doing okayyy??

[boreal harness]

Yeah I'm fine lol