This was a personal poem that highlighted what it's like to live with my brain I'll maybe edit it in the future but hope you guys like it
#The Confusion of Sadness
brittle pawn
storm temple
Idkr. it starts off like a speech but then turns into a confession I get the feel the reader is suppose to sympathise with the narrator but the narrator low-key comes across as narcissistic so it’s kinda like the narrator is going against their nature which is like character development which is ironic cause the poems about understanding someone else
brittle pawn
I see in lines eleven and twelve It was supposed to tell about how rude it is to ask what exactly causes they're sadness I knew there was something not quite right about it thank you
The tone in question was supposed to be that of confusion and wonder there is a whole world and different kinds of sadness I don't understand but still see I'll keep tinkering though
storm temple
The tone in question was supposed to be that of confusion and wonder there is a ...
Limit ‘i’; for confusion and wonder use symbolism that make are akin to that but with respect to the context, like behind their steps flowers bled grey (cliché) (idk but that’s how I do it i won’t state but find a roundabout way to state sadness)(but remember even if u directly state smth try balance the ratio between stated vs showen else it limits density of a poem so by its nature the text becomes redundant as a poem) (also most words aren’t strong I mean like they mimic every day speech they don’t have a flair of their own they’re are these kinda poems by they don’t have a rhyme scheme usually) (I like how the thoughts flow from line to the other that’s tough to do)
brittle pawn
Thank you for your feedback It truly helps me grow
brittle pawn
I think I'm gonna go a different direction with this poem I have a good start and end but my middle is a little rocky
I'm thinking of this time I'm being more specific and leaning more towards my own expeirience
Like being more personal, the tone is going to be understanding where I went wrong and warning others about ignoring their own sadness
The concept of prolonged sadness has always seemed to puzzle me
That is ironic though, There was a sadness in me I couldn't see
It wasn’t ever that noticeable though, disguised as routine
Everyday I tried to do something different, but something else was in between
I could understand everybody else's sadness, theirs was apparent, except mine
I lived with that for three years, not knowing my emotions could crash on a dime