Nice and short, I like it
#Our Tattoo (By HermanDev)
naive kettle
lilac rose
@teal cipher @obtuse egret @dim mango gotta tag my boys
dim mango
This one is very very nice
Narrative in one sense (first line)
and then a poignant reflection.
Well done Herman!
lilac rose
@naive kettle You said you like micro poems?
naive kettle
did someone say 'MICRO'? Keep up the great work! 😌
lilac rose
Mixed on the line capitalizations.
teal cipher
Interesting usage of double entendre. The speaker isn’t clarified so it could be an artist (a tattoo artist at work) or the individual receiving the tattoo wondering about how it will be understood by others
Either way it gets at a critical question that’s at the core of all artistic pursuits: “how do I know that others will understand me as I understand myself?”
But it gives a sardonic answer to the implicit question: “I don’t even understand myself so how in God’s name is anyone else going to?” If the speaker is the person with the tattoo and “without understanding myself, I can never be a good artist” if the speaker is the tattoo artist
I like this little puzzle box you’ve made. More salient and more layered (to my untutored mind, anyway) than some of your others.
lilac rose
Either way it gets at a critical question that’s at the core of all artistic pur...
Ah, I seem to have fked up. “Them” is supposed to be the future self (the person they want to be), but yeah the read you took isn’t properly blocked. I can’t just substitute them w me though… (I had considered that before posting but thought it cost too much) Idk not sure what I’ll do yet.
lilac rose
Interesting usage of double entendre. The speaker isn’t clarified so it could be...
Hmm, I could perhaps clarify this with the title. “My Tattoo” or could get fancy and say “Our Tattoo”
Anyway ty for the feedback, it really helped
I was sloppy with this piece, I just wrote it prematurely and loved it and didn’t do the checks / refinements
Our Tattoo (By HermanDev)
I fear you’ll hate that change xD