#Seeker ~Kai Engel (VeX)

54 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

pulsar mauve
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(This poem is inspired by a music piece called 'Seeker', composed by Kai Engel)
(To enjoy this poem the best, I suggest you read the poem while listening to the music, And to read out the stanzas according to the noted time, also kindly read the lines with pauses as to match with the song.)

[1:10]
A note less string

I am but empty of heart;

No beat, no limb,

I am the end of all start;

[1:25]
A torch with no light

I am fire without fuel;

I diminish after I'm bright,

Kind after cruel;

[1:40]
Sympathy after betrayal,

Love after hate;

I am time that ends

But not on a date;

[1:56]
I only search and search

From the death to the birth;

But not a single being

Is happy on Earth;

[2:10]
Skin with no bone,

Vessels, no blood;

I am a city under an ocean

But an ocean, not by flood;

[2:32]
My purpose is only seek,

Seek for a soul not hollow;

Seek the heaven to hell

Find a soul to follow;

[2:48]
Let me run through hell,

Let me burn in heaven;

Be the soul, I can't find,

The reliever of all tension;

[3:06]
Now I am the Seeker,

The greatest being to seek;

I am the faintest scream,

And am but, the loudest creek;

I am god himself,

And am the lowest being;

What use was this world,

When it weren't in my seeing;

[4:08]
I am now the end of time,

And am the beginning of all;

I am the Seeker that has observed,

From lowest to the greatest fall.

...

(All credits to the composer Kai Engel, really a beautiful piece)

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<@&1145760802666717234> really hard work lol

placid belfry
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"I am a fire without fuel" was the highlight for me

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I did feel the speaker's helplessness and frustration come through

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if I were to critique, Id say this isnt the best form for the poem

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it feels like it should be a running mauarding train of thought free form

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but its spaced out like shakespeares couplets

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I would lean into the chaos of the poem, and remember that form is content's b itch NOT the other way round

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never the other way round

pulsar mauve
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Thanks for your feedback though, it really helps!!

placid belfry
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my friend if it is not what you feel its not worth writing

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writing should be your space to say the sh it youre feeling that you would never say normally

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yes that includes fiction

pulsar mauve
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I mean I write many kinds, so usually it's what I feel But I do keep trying to make feelings to make poems

placid belfry
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when people say "write what you know" theyre really talking about emotion

pulsar mauve
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Yeah

placid belfry
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share with me a poem where the feeling is real for you

pulsar mauve
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But anybody with emotions can be a poet, It's your skill to portray and to be able to create whatever you desire, that distinguishes u from others

pulsar mauve
placid belfry
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by the way I want you to klnow Im not arguing with you Im just very direct in the way I speak to people generally

pulsar mauve
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Yeah I'm glad you are

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This is a poem I wrote for someone I assumed had left

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This is also another one I wrote recently

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After I felt too much

placid belfry
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I would say the third is my favourite by far because I feel like Im reading your true poetic voice

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is english your second language by the way?

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I dont mean to offend by asking by the way just want a feel of your writing background

pulsar mauve
pulsar mauve
placid belfry
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There's some gramatical errors in the thid but I think in general its your best work

pulsar mauve
placid belfry
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I think getting someone native english to review might help your poems if you were to try reach published level

pulsar mauve
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Reframing sentences according to poets desire ig I read sm device like tht smwhere

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Inversion!!

placid belfry
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how interesting

pulsar mauve
placid belfry
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I can get that approach for sure

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let me re-read with that in mind

pulsar mauve
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Alright

placid belfry
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yeah I do like the third poem but I think it needs some smoothing out

pearl thornBOT
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*yeah I do like the

third poem but I think it

needs some smoothing out*

- howaboutanotherjoke
placid belfry
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I would definitely say you are your best when you are being true to yourself with what youre saying

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you never really break from a very rigid form adherance

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like youre very intentional with every line and it shows

pulsar mauve
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Yeah in tht coal poem, I tried breaking up my sentences into different lines

placid belfry
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but I think the realness in the third poem while doing the solid structure was what made that one work the most for me

pulsar mauve
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Like continuation after one line

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On the next

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Commas tht confuse lmao

pulsar mauve
green lark
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not really good at feedbacks, but i wow-ed after every stanza if that helps, lol (probably gonna search and listen to the song on repeat too)