#renaming, interrupted by sense or hindsight

27 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

tidal wing
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idk this is not my type of poem

trim mulch
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@tidal wing @hollow flint i feel like this poem might be more your thing

tidal wing
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Wow, incredible! I love the imagery you use. A lot of funny lines too. "I will spit on your gnarled toes" is hilarious.

The structure is very open too. I like how it feels like there's space between each lines Makes for a really cool poem.

Overall, good job! Love this!

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Gay poem 69/10.

trim mulch
hollow flint
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Juniper really out here saying everything I wanted to say

austere minnowBOT
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*Juniper really

out here saying everything

I wanted to say*

- ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
hollow flint
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I see how it is

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Anyways

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you need to stop writing so many poems cause they’re all good and i don’t like you.

trim mulch
trim mulch
hollow flint
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No sadly not

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I probs wont be able to poetry at all really till Thursday

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Too many tests and exams to work on

trim mulch
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now im home free

trim mulch
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heres an updated version

blazing field
tidal wing
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This message is a place holder :>

uncut swallow
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Reading this was a new experiemce as if i am reading the lines but the words in the brackets dictate my thoughts, almost feels like the poem is doing both the verbal and mental exercise for me (something which i do while even normally talking my thought train would many times be verbalising something entirely different than what Im speaking)

trim mulch
primal geyserBOT
trim mulch
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OK THIS IS MAYBE THE FINAL VERSION

tidal wing
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It feels like someone is talking to the audience but every now and then the stuff I'm the parentheses () feels like it's a totally different person just butting into the story. The 'their breath is salt, is sting' makes me think about the 'salt in the wound' saying. This poem also makes me think the main character is getting abused in one way or another. The one thing that gets in my nerves is the fact that "I" is not uppercased