Her soft voice soothes me,
Her crystal blue eyes lure me in,
Her hands join us,
The rain pours,
The moon shines brighter,
We dance,
The rain drops on her glasses,
Her eyes brighter than ever,
My heart beats faster,
As her words subdue my thoughts,
The words I speak,
Get overtaken by hers,
I love her
#Love Her
night geyser
tall silo
Her soft voice soothes me,
Her crystal blue eyes lure me in,
Her hands join us,
...
i think there's a beautiful concept of passiveness and submission here. often submissiveness if seen as a loss of power when really it is an agency of its own. basically, the fact that "the words I speak, // get overtaken by hers," still "I love her". what the poem lacks i think is descriptiveness. the only good descriptive line i think is the "the rain drops on her glasses // her eyes brighter than ever" other than that the imagery has been overused a lot throughout centuries and does not evoke any effective emotion. i think that'll be it, maybe try experimenting with more metaphors, imagery, poetry forms and stuff