woven swan
Sadness has no end,
Happiness does,
For without you my friend,
This melancholy air,
Has replaced what my felicity once was.
Everyday, I think of you,
Of your soul, so light-hearted,
I’ve felt so lonely and blue,
Ever since our paths have parted.
I suffer, for you I long,
I want to see your beautiful face,
Hear your silly laugh,
Feel your warm embrace,
Be it for a minute or a half.
<@&1145760802666717234>
<@&1144090752457113794>
ebon ocean
Longing is a feeling mutual to everyone.
"I've felt so lonely and blue", What did you mean by blue?
vivid heron
i love all the descriptions :> one thing id comment on is the use of commas? since they're not grammatically correct (although ofc poetry does not have to be in general, i mean in this case specifically) to me personally it feels repetitive in a droning on way which feels awkward to read (especially the first stanza), and im not sure if thats what the intention was. if it was, then you can ignore this loll
woven swan
Longing is a feeling mutual to everyone.
"I've felt so lonely and blue", What di...
'feeling blue' means feeling sad
ebon ocean
Ah pardon.
woven swan
i love all the descriptions :> one thing id comment on is the use of commas? sin...
oh yeah no it wasn't intentional, but i most of the time put a comma after every verse
because it kinda looks awkward without
to me
idk how it's supposed to be
but i can imagine it'd be awkward reading
woven swan
wdym
woven swan
ohh
I see
yeah lemme change that
I thought it'd make sense because it's like "For without you, my friend, this melancholy air has replaced what my felicity once was"
ebon ocean
👍