#flower on the blue hour

7 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

karmic falcon
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flower on the blue hour

rewrote my friends poem into something thats almost entirely different

Hanging close with my brother at the blue hour
He always beats me up for the definition of love
I know it's a lie, but I can't refuse, cause he has power.
He has love and it's built as tall as an Eiffel tower

As I go to the corner
I cower
While he's staring at mom, he doesn't realize
That I'm just a flower

A flower that's slowly dying thriving to live
To see the future and just be happy
A flower that once smelled good as daisies, a beautiful one.
But honestly all of that is gone

hanging at the blue hour with my little sister
she beats me up, but im happy because I missed her
so please don't leave me like my petals
cause my brother just left me, his heart is as strong as metals.

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heeh I tried

toxic quartz
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that you did, well done!
always refreshing to see new takes on others' pieces

peak prairieBOT
toxic quartz
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since feedback was requested:

  • stanza 1, line 4: "the" Eiffel tower
  • stanza 3, line 1: "dying, striving to live"
  • stanza 4, line 4: "his heart as strong as metal"
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either way, wonderful piece of writing!

karmic falcon