lusty tinsel
Oh, such delight I find,
as in my bonnet, blooms entwine,
midst countryside repast, we unwind,
with fanciful tales of a bygone time,
skimming stones o'er waters, so kind.
Yet,
I don a mask, you see,
a different persona, artfully,
to avoid scorn and mockery,
for I dare not be truly me,
In fear of jests that should be set free...
static mural
It's alright. Strong imagery in places, definitely gave me an image of this old lady talking to her grandchildren about old tales, and flows well. That being said, the narrative feels a little inconsistent. When did she don this mask? Is she still wearing it when she is talking about her life? Also, the final line, "In fear of jests that should be set free..." feels a little inconsistent as well. The underlying implication of this piece is that she is forced to wear a mask, and that this is a bad thing, but then it says jests towards her "should be set free" implying that they are a good thing and should be said. I think some refinement + rereading would make this good piece into a great one.
lusty tinsel
It's alright. Strong imagery in places, definitely gave me an image of this old ...
Thank you for your feedback x