#To You

157 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

trail prairie
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To you, you who started it all.
You were my first, the spark of fire, the spirit to the essence. What was, what is, what will be. i'm sorry for who i was; the years you knew me.

To you, once admired.
Years after the first one, I searched anew; what it was to love. You ushered me, new words and love, I had never been gifted before. You were the first stab to the heart, the first crack to sew up, the first fire to die out. Forgive my false hope in your sympathy; the years you knew me.

To you, my biggest wound.
Life played, life laughed, life led me to you. You who needed healing, you who gave a song, you and your smile. The love I gave you; was an experience I learned to the hearts bottom. Everything I gave you was taken for granted; all that I was; was thrown away. Sorry I wasted your time; the years you knew me.

To you, the innocent.
You gave me your best, your honesty, your innocence. Yet I neither woe nor cherish what we were. If times were different; if the gap wasn't so long. Perhaps; perhaps.
Sorry I couldn't be the one you deserved; the years you knew me.

To you, all over again.
We should never have met. Our moment, the time, everything we wrote. Much is dimmed. You who tried; you who ran away. You who didn't dare. Our moment was short, but you reminded me of all the love times before. Sorry I scared you; the years you knew me.

To you, You who took; that which was me.
When I first met you; I realized how hopeless I were. A hopeless romantic. You were the one, I gave my all, as our glasses met each other witlessly. You who stole my first kiss. You who needed comfort, love and loyalty; you who I loved the most.. But life plays.
We destroyed each other. We took apart the only happiness we found in what was us. The heart betrayed a thousandfold, you who held on to what little there was. Sorry I never gave you an ending; the years you knew me.

To you. My dear fractures.

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@peak sinew

peak sinew
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Oh wow

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This is long

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And it dosnt rhyme

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Very nice

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Raw wordage

trail prairie
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I dont really rhyme

amber ingot
trail prairie
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for me, to try and keeping things to a rhyme, it loses the raw emotion to which i describe things

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instead, i repeat, in a mild manner

trail prairie
peak sinew
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My rhyming writings are always my worst

trail prairie
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poem context: || it's a closure letter to all of my previous relationships||

peak sinew
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I was just typing the question to that answer

trail prairie
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HAHAHA

peak sinew
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I see

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All of the past relationships!!!!

trail prairie
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mhm?

peak sinew
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That’s cool. You must have felt deeply in those relationships to have written this…

trail prairie
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Every relationships is etched into me

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Nobody is loved without value

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because that love is the selfsame value

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and so as things we cherish gets lost, what else is there but to mourn before moving on

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To love is to remember

peak sinew
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Yeh…

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I half agree, half don’t

trail prairie
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its all subjective

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agree to disagree 🤝

peak sinew
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Indeed

trail prairie
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if you asked me

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i hated my biggest wound

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and i mourn she who took; that which was me

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Once admired was but a moment in life

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the innocent was a tragedy

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all over again, was to repeat, repeat being a hopeless romantic

ebon idolBOT
trail prairie
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she who started it all, was my first crush and love

peak sinew
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Ohhhh

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😮

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These are all different people

trail prairie
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they are

peak sinew
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Like elements in your memory

trail prairie
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mhm :)

peak sinew
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Lessons learned and stuff

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I see I see

trail prairie
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except for the first

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from the 2nd forward

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a stab to the heart

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a crack to sew

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a flame to die out

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and so i have 5 stabs, 5 cracks, 5 ashes

peak sinew
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Damn

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But your still alive

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Inside… I’m guessing/hoping

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Eventually you’ll find the right person/people

trail prairie
peak sinew
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Great 😌

empty karma
lofty monolithBOT
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*there are in fact a

lot of rhymes above, you just

have to look for them*

empty karma
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@trail prairie great stuff, thanks for sharing! this is a special piece I feel

lofty monolithBOT
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*@blueryot great stuff,

thanks for sharing! this is a

special piece I feel*

trail prairie
ebon idolBOT
empty karma
trail prairie
placid sable
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You remind me of a girl I once knew.

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This poem hits hard

placid sable
trail prairie
placid sable
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It happens to all people

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No matter gender

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These memories they trace

trail prairie
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also

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what is the difference between prose and free verse

placid sable
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Maybe a style and rhythm

trail prairie
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but cant free verse, slightly break free from those

placid sable
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It can completely or slightly

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I keep reading this poem. I really like it a lot

trail prairie
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i try to make use of " ; " as shakespeare used it

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For me, i feel like reading these texts in a set pace does it the best

lofty monolithBOT
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*For me, i feel like

reading these texts in a set

pace does it the best*

placid sable
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It is amazing to me how I can find parallels in this poem from people in my life who crossed paths with her. And I mean every stanza

trail prairie
placid sable
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Yeah, that is fascinating

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Maybe life is cruel like that

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It rhymes its misery internationally and through the ages

placid sable
trail prairie
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😭

trail prairie
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but i think my letter above already speaks the volume about what each regret, lesson and love it had

placid sable
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That will remind me of which one of these parallels to me as well

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I did part ways with her in peace though

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I think

trail prairie
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do prose fall outside the bounds of what poetry is

placid sable
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I was once admired

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Maybe poetry could be broader

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Because you can trap narratives in some rhythm

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Or essays

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But I think there can be overlap both ways

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Is one of these people repeated in your poem?
All over again

trail prairie
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no its more of a statement

placid sable
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I see

trail prairie
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its also a slight nuance loss from language translation

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what i originally wrote, in swedish "allt på nytt" actually means "everything anew"

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but it didnt work

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if i had to re evaluate that part

placid sable
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I see

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It is still a very good poem

trail prairie
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it's, "ive fallen in love so many times, and so once again, all over again, i repeat it the same"

placid sable
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Are you in a better place now?

trail prairie
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i think so

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atleast, when it comes to love

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ive learned my lesson, my dear fractures

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Also i donno why but i like to repeat a word or a sentence for a paragraph

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and depending on, repeat something at the end of a paragraph as well

placid sable
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That is a nice rhythmic choice

trail prairie
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To you; blah blah

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im sorry_ ; the years you knew me

trail prairie
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i never dated anybody longer than 6 months

placid sable
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I see. I also make narrative choices sometimes in my personal poetry.

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I look forward to reading more of your work

trail prairie
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ive one more in post-own that i think you havent read yet

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ill tag you

hot crest
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Artificial rhymes harm raw emotions and inspirations imo

trail prairie
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depends

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maybe the thought of it being in a "limit" has its expression of its own

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depending on the person, maybe rhyming, as if in a prison, the ticking of the clock

hot crest
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This actually gave me an inspiration

trail prairie
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🤝

trail prairie
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not everything is set in stone, even when told that its set in stone

lofty monolithBOT
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*not everything is

set in stone, even when told

that its set in stone*

trail prairie
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I WROTE A HAIKU AGAIN?

empty karma
placid sable
empty karma
# trail prairie To you, you who started it all. You were my first, the spark of fire, the spirit...

I am going to list rhymes, including partial/slant rhymes for the first two stanzas alone, because if I didn't select those - I'd be here for a bit longer, and my brian is currently being a massive jerk (as is tradition).

To, you (and remember repitition is itself a perfect rhyme), knew, anew

Started, spark, heart,

startEd, essEnce, NEver, BEfore, giftEd

As you can see the idea there aren't rhymes is incredibly farcical (and or horribly wrong), let's continue:

starteD, admireD, searcheD, ushereD, gifteD, (note these are consonant driven rhymes primarily I believe - when people think of rhymes they most often think of assonance or vowel driven similarities).

And let's continue.

empty karma
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HEY DON'T INTERRUPT ME

empty karma
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jk but I'll stop there

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as you can see, I could keep going

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there are a ton of rhymes

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That was just from the first two stanzas, and only up to about the 8th word or so.

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Even the title itself rhymes with itself.

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Many talented poets do this naturally, but once you realize what you're doing it can get easier to fine tune it.

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Here's a link to a slant rhyme primer I have - note slant rhyming can also refer to BENDING vowel sounds as per hip hop, whereas with poetry it usually refers to partial rhymes more

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(also a neat trick is "the", "a", and "of" all slant rhyme)

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@trail prairie I hope the wait was worth it! Keep being awesome whenever you feel like it! I'm excited to read more of your writing ❤️

trail prairie
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Even if not, ill take this info to heart