#A Love Untarnished

9 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

rare kindle
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This hour, I breathe the bright blue sky, feeling the brisk air touch my skin
The reflection on the lake fade into my smile
Something felt like it was missing
Hydrangeas dipped in the sea
The gap of silent cities, was there no rain?
Memory fades upon the horizon

I wish our love could have lasted forever like the moments stuck in photos
You and me, forever encapsulated – a beauty frozen in time
Paints flooded the southern skies
The hours grew longer as the weather gets warmer
"My dear, please don't ever forget me"

I woke up one morning with the taste of the days I used to spend with you
I never thought love was timeless, but our love was
You showed me the moments we used to spend together, on the lake in the summer
The air sweeping across my tender skin
Our golden love, never tarnished

The days we sat on the porch reading the poems you wrote me
Spending every waking minute hoping that I would remember you
The white house and the pouring rain
The girl you fell in love with all those years ago
Stuck in a haze, you stayed by my side, despite knowing you would never get the old me back

rare kindle
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<@&1144090752457113794> <@&1145760802666717234>

thorny crest
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I would put "wrote for me"

glossy sable
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I really like this poem! I felt it put a sufficiently unique but measured, touching spin on a lot of more classic but (perhaps timeless) ideas - and I found some of the symbols really evocative such as 'the white house and he pouring rain' (mind you they could be literal objects as well!).

The balance of devices felt good, and the grammar it started with felt particularly unique but intelligible too. You had some impressive consonance at a few parts, but when you broke that up I felt it helped add dynamics and contrast actually.

Meaning wise the poem feels both purposefully, exactly clear and then towards the very end... it grows more mysterious I feel! But that for me at least, is what elevated this from a poem I enjoyed and liked, to one that I felt and loved.

thorny crest
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otherwise I enjoyed it. Is this a previous lover?

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the last line made me think that the person is no longer your lover.

wild barnBOT
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*the last line made me

think that the person is no

longer your lover.*

- poeticabyss
rare kindle
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this poem was inspired by the notebook