I need help

[rustic flicker]

I wrote something about someone and I don’t know if it is a poem. It doesn’t rhyme and the words don’t really fit. I struggle with writing English , but also with German.
Could someone please help me to find other words or just give Feedback?

[rich yarrow]

I would consider this a poem

I think it is quite good in fact.
And the last line makes us want to start the poem again

I am impressed if your English isn't that good that you produced a poem like this.

Are there words you think are troublesome here?

[rustic flicker]

Honestly, this is the first “poem” I’ve ever written. During the writing I didn’t thought about the words and how they match with the other ones, but now that I’m reading it afterwards there are some things I’m not 100% happy with.
the accept feels so wrong simply not fitting
And the description of her words, are the better words to describe that?

[rustic flicker]

Thanks for your Feedback 🫶

[rich yarrow]

I see

I wish I could more critical, but it is always difficult for me to say anything against poetry, because it is an expressive form. Sure, you could have used a different word.

maybe... an effort to embrace it

I can also give tips perhaps about pauses and spacing, but I think a reader will naturally know where they should be

[rustic flicker]

Yeah, you’re right it’s difficult for sure

[rustic flicker]

I’ll think about that, thanks

[rich yarrow]

I hate inserting my own words into other people's poems

yet, I can't look away and try and face it

I am a bad critic

[rustic flicker]

It’s okay, thanks for trying

[vast citrus]

Wonderful! @rustic flicker has just pregressed to level 1!

[rustic flicker]

I’d really need that

[rich yarrow]

okay

comma at eyes, your (line 2)
unfiltered, so familiar (line 5)
so respectful, so warm (line 6)
Maybe,
make "in a way only you can" (and a pause before it like .... or comma or -)
a line of its own (line 12)

[rustic flicker]

Okay, I hope I did everything like you meant.

[rich yarrow]

Perfect. By the way. The more I read it. The more I like it.

Including that phrase of try to accept it

[rustic flicker]

Thank you for your help

[rustic flicker]

I appreciate that 🫶

[hushed gulch]

this poem is a really epic free verse
but if you need rhyming words in other poems: https://www.rhymezone.com
it's better than using corny rhymes imo

[rustic flicker]

Thank you very much ❤️