is this poem too literal/cringe

[rigid lion]

there is a river that flows behind my childhood home
the river where we would ride bikes
giggles and laughter back when nothing mattered
no fears of growing up, just the moment

The river itself was filthy,contaminated by the world
nonetheless we ignored the smell, but never daring to go in
for a fear it would drag us deep inside an unknown place
If we had grown up together,
if i had never moved
i would have shown you this river

You would have laughed
i would’ve hidden my face, embarrassed
you would belittle my river,
talked about how “gross” it was

I would've pretended not to care,
because if you thought it was stupid, then it was stupid
nativity, how i wish i wasn't so naive
falling for everything, falling for you

There is not a single ending where we end up together
there is also not a single ending where we wouldn’t have died for each other
the river pulled us both into a deep unknown place
a place where we loved each other,
yet were too embarrassed to admit it

ignore the grammatical mistakes but i feel like there's something off about this one

[hearty wadi]

Nahh, its not cringe, but ur questions is so relatable😂

[modern moss]

It doesn't give off any cringe vibes.

I have read plenty of 'cringy poems', this isn't one of them.

I would just say, consider spending a little more time refining your message and phrasing, for clarity.

[rigid lion]

yeah I haven't gone through and edited it yet

[gilded iron]

literal yes. is that a bad thing, no. cringe, uh nooo. more akin to raw. I do get the sense that the words seem a luttle forced though, maybe overthought. but I guess most poetry is overthought. anyways thats only my perspective, these are your words not mine, go crazy<3

[queen cargo]

I love it, it gives such a paradoxal, nostalgic vibe

Also, for me, it has a really nice flow

[scarlet frost]

I love how you talk about the "River" in this and how its shown in the first bits.💜 i rly enjoyed this poem

[queen cargo]

@rigid lion do you have anything specific you DO feel is polished for your own tastes we could see for notes?

I love this just as is! I need more fingers to snap more! But yo - I'm sure you COULD tweak fine details and especially the form though

also: obvious image is obvious, this would be cute with a little river shot heh - I felt like it had some potential symbolism as well (and often for me at least, if I HAVE to think "is this a symbol perhaps?" it's more up my alley then when it's in my face.

[queen cargo]

and regarding which details to tweak is HIGHLY subjective I believe - stacking too many devices may hurt the narrative flow at times depending I feel

and the narrative is REALLY strong above I think!