I should really get a new brand of detergent

[delicate tusk]

Clean-scented laundry fills the room,

I can’t breathe, it smells of him, I’m now shrouded in gloom,

Of a love that burned bright, and yet died too soon,

Wherever you are, in your absence I weep,

Why you couldn’t stay, is a secret I keep so deep,

You needed to find your own way, they’ll say,

You leaned on me and we fell, caught in life’s play.

But as the memories fade, I still long for the day,

When our love was the sun and when the world was our bay.

I now choke on your closeness, a love beyond repair,

In truth, it was a soiled love in disarray, o’how life is cruel, and unfair.

And as the memories continue to fade, I go on, wishing I’d been wiser, held on tighter, and with care.

But our love that once burned so bright, has now died by our past’s despair.

And so I move forward longing for a time that couldn’t last,

at the very least, aware.

A commenter on Reddit referenced a song called You Learn by Anais Morisette and I loved that after hearing it

[delicate tusk]

<@&1145760802666717234> Hey! Im very new to writing like this, Its my first proper poem, if anyone would like to share their thoughts/insight I'd love to learn from you all!

[idle stag]

its amazing

i love it

[remote aspen]

I love the rhyming, it's so subtle but it also pops out when you pay close attention, it makes this poem fun to read! Really captures that feeling of a certain breakup and/or just a relationship that didn't work out and still having things that remind you of it (Sorry if that makes no sense, it makes more sense in my head, haha). Great work, keep it up!! ☺️

[delicate tusk]

Awww thank you both for your comments!!! @remote aspen I'm so glad you caught that. The way I had put it was a feeling of painful nostalgia, navigating past reminders , and our ability to grow from a dark place. I think it easy to look at it from the outside and see the 'protagonist' as the wronger. I wanted to share their experience, well, my experience Being the one relied on when I was, at that point in my life really in no position to do so . Your encouragement means a lot to me. I've been sitting on this feeling for so long struggling to move on and strangely enough I feel it gives me a little hope every time I read it ! I challenged myself to write a poem every day I hope to continue sharing!

[indigo osprey]

i like how this reminds me of sun rays coming from deep dark clouds and clouds are just expanding , beautifully written . keep on writing

[heady gust]

I love how you capture emotions that are very relatable so well, this poem calls up those feelings of pain so effortlessly and really makes you reflect on your own experiences! Keep up the writing!