temporary—a.w | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

mortal venture Aug 6, 2023, 7:39 AM

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"i continue to watch on the side;
i want to get closer to you.
but if i know
that you'll never be mine,
what's the point?
still
i chase this
temporary happiness."

mortal reef Aug 6, 2023, 7:43 AM

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This poem itself is already great, but it has potential to be lengthier and more descriptive! (It’s already amazing though!)

mortal venture Aug 6, 2023, 7:45 AM

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mortal reef This poem itself is already great, but it has potential to be lengthier and more...

thank you so much for the feedback! i tend to make my poems a bit shorter, and i like to leave it up to interpretation for the most part, just for personal opinion, but i still appreciate your comments! thank you! 🫶🫶

old linden Aug 6, 2023, 8:51 AM

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i like it a lot, especailly as i have written poems with similar idea

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and you did it wonderfully

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ill just say try to add more emotions to it

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especally as i would say a lot of ppl have experienced something similar

#temporary—a.w