a checkbook opens, blank
stare as ink crawls down the page
dripping autumn
down the drain - orange leaves
ruby, gold - weather and fall
wither and fall, waiting
for something, changing nothing
nothing changes at all
#Waiting for Fall
thorny shoal
signal phoenix
the slightly varied repetition (I don't know if there's a term for this) creates good juxtaposition
onyx raptor
😯
turbid sundial
This reads wonderfully
And the imagery, especially of the first few lines, really pops
signal phoenix
the tone feels very exhausted because of it too which really conveys the theme so much better
thorny shoal
the tone feels very exhausted because of it too which really conveys the theme s...
-nods- ic ic -taking mental notes- XD thx for the feedback
keen cove
deft badger
like @signal phoenix said, the tone has an exhausted feel to it. at least reading it in my head, that's how i perceive it. and i feel like it pulls it all together wonderfully. well done! ^^
polar rivet
this is great