#idk yet

16 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

craggy salmon
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This warm summer breeze that continues to envelop me,
Telling me my feelings are my own, I too am human.
The butterflies the weather is giving me, telling me “its okay”,
Yet it still feels like a lie, just to control me, just to make fun of me.

The beautiful sun shining bright on me,
My skin reflecting its beauty, rejecting it,
Lying to myself that it too dislikes me,
Easily, I become the victim in all of these situations.

Lies and lies I told myself, “happy”, “happy”, “happy”.
Rejecting that I too have feelings of sadness,
Thinking I was acting bravely,
But I was only acting foolishly.

Rejecting the fact that the wind would also feel
Feelings of sadness, feelings of rejection.
I ignored it completely, took it for granted,
And only ended up hurting those that truly cared for me.

Even acknowledging all of this,
I continue to cry myself to sleep,
But those wasteful tears that exit my eyes,
Will only continue to bring about despair.

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<@&968253730841567284> <@&1116088175618699345>

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idk yet

onyx shell
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It's gr8!!! Tho you could add more imagery or sensory details. It would just enhance the piece. I loved the idea tho. It's awesome.

craggy salmon
fathom mesa
# craggy salmon Alr ty

The part that says “Yet it still feels like a lie, just to control me, just to make fun of me.” You can find ideas with this, “ feels like a venomous tongue, twisting lies for my comfort.” Also this part, “The beautiful sun shining bright on me, My skin reflecting its beauty, rejecting it,
Lying to myself that it too dislikes me,
Easily, I become the victim in all of these situations.” You can find ideas with, “the shining rays affect my darkened soul. Picturing it as the one pouring poison to my mind. Yet, it has been me all along” also this part, “rejecting the devouring sadness that lies beneath my rotten flesh. I acted drunkenly allowing the bitter taste of foolishness to taint my mind”

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These are just ideas ofc just to get a little bit more of imagery in ur writing

craggy salmon
fathom mesa
craggy salmon
# fathom mesa Yea you can find your own style when creating imagery just revolves around think...

Hmm alr.. i dont know what exactly makes a style for poems, i just usually write them to try to get my feelings down on paper rather than make the reader feel smt, it just feels boring to write on smt i havent actually experienced (like i saw a rlly good poem on a website a few weeks ago about a king or smt, but thats just not my type ig). But yh ig i never really tried to enhance my vocab simply bcz i only rlly saw it as a way to vent, but hey they are really fun to write so ill try using better imagery. Ill ping ya on my next poem whenever i get around to it though.

fathom mesa
# craggy salmon Hmm alr.. i dont know what exactly makes a style for poems, i just usually write...

Oh I see. I write to vent as well! I usually turn my rants in a way what feeling and I’m experiencing in that moment but more dramatic. In way that I get my point across. And no you don’t have to use ‘better vocabulary’ it’s your poem at the end of the day it helps but I like to see my poems as a, let say as a movie it helps to get a better image of my poem. Also, it helps me create a poem and put into exact words on what I’m feeling in that moment maybe it doesn’t work for you which I completely understand but you can definitely create your poems revolving around venting because I do it all the time.

craggy salmon
# fathom mesa Oh I see. I write to vent as well! I usually turn my rants in a way what feeling...

As a movie, huh? That is a pretty unique way to see them, sounds interesting though. The thing I love about poems is how fast they take to finish, like when I wrote this one, it took me like 40 ish minutes including a few retakes, so i do usually just imagine it as like a picture or a very short story. To each their own though ig, but i havent really attempted like making my poems more overcomplicated or dramatic so i think it would be worth a shot though. Its nice to know others use poems as a way to vent lol.

fathom mesa
craggy salmon
fathom mesa
craggy salmon