Conserve

[lofty helm]

@somber wing @oak gazelle @mighty burrow

[somber wing]

already insects

I'm invested

I can't help but relate it to the alice and wonderland vibes, with the first line "join the rainbow caterpillar" its very mysterious and like uhh I can't think of a word just very interesting vibe. My brain is very foggy usually I'd give a bit more information but I'm broken lmao

[lofty helm]

algood not a problem haha, huh an alice in wonderland vibe, i didnt intend that but i see it, its interesting finding new stuff in your own work

[oak gazelle]

I will pen this down for later! I WILL come back to this one!

[gusty dragon]

noice

conservation theme

the poem very clear

and it sounds like it would be a hell of a march song

w

[lofty helm]

thanks

[mighty burrow]

I like the imagery and how it connects with the message, the rhyme scheme throws me off a bit, it dips its toes in but doesn't commit. The the idea of humans coming with fire, cutting, patchwork and design also makes me rethink the first two stanzas, where my mind is reconceptualizing a natural image of insects replacing the ceaseless machine and caterpillars to logging units and Bobcat plows; which I believe may be the intention, given the last line of fences and wire being a prescription for growing tired.

[lofty helm]

the idea of the poem is rooted in the conservation work performed by elderly hiking communities in new zealand, the rainbow caterpillar is an allusion to their backpacks as they hike down narrow trails, rhyming is also not my thing i like sprinkling it in a little to highlight specific areas but i dont like it to be a major component of the writing, i much prefer freeverse. the fences and wire is a reference to renatured zones, place that are built on reclaimed farmland or defined by their position as never settled spaces, in nz these places are heavily fenced to prevent rats and other invasive species getting to the birds inside, it is based on fieldwork i am currently conducting for my phd

[mighty burrow]

Okay I see I see, my original thought was the poem advocating for conservation until I got to the third stanza, a lot of the descriptive elements sound antagonists to nature (fire, cut, patchwork, human design, cut it out, fence); but, that could also be from an assumption based in ignorance, not recognizing certain techniques and values that go into conservation

[lofty helm]

its kind of framed around the idea that people have that these spaces are untouched or pure when they are not, people juxtapose hiking tracks with the city, "its a return to nature" but hiking tracks are not natural they are architectures of leisure, and they create a feeling of indebtedness, people who hike see climate change first hand, they have seen new Zealand's glaciers melt, they have received joy from these places and they want to repay it, they want to give back and in so doing they build, they make and architecture that mimics the natural world staving off the slow death of these places as our cities get bigger and our farms larger.

its not a very optimistic poem

[lofty helm]

I look forward to it

[mighty burrow]

"hiking tracks are not natural"
I wish the hardcore "pack in pack out, take only pictures" knew that lmao I've been berated on hiking trails for fairly mundane things lol

[oak gazelle]

Okay, so because you've already received so many critiques on this one, and because I feel like I may be a bit out of my depth on the subject matter of this one, I'm just going to say that the structure and rhythm of this poem is beautiful. Great job with it! Lines like, "Follow the pain in your calves, cut to the rise" are delivered on point because of that beautiful rhythm! And the way you break it at the end of each stanza gives the reader a good place to stop and think about what they just read! Good job overall!

[lofty helm]

in some ways hiking tracks are like musuems or zoos, they fulfill a similar function, where they differ is that they are anarchic, hikers through hiking activly contribute to constructing the trail. I presented a paper on how how hiking is walking as construction walk much in the same way that parkour is walking as play.

[lofty helm]

thank you very much stellar

[oak gazelle]

My pleasure!

Sorry about not giving it an indepth critique like I normally do, but I think you'll be fine :P

In the words of my mother, "You'll be strong"

XD

[lofty helm]

it was still helpful, im think of submitting it for publication soon

[oak gazelle]

Ooooh, that would be awesome!

Wanna see the poems that I'm submitting for publication?

[lofty helm]

yas

[oak gazelle]

Lemme get the link to the first one, I'm submitting three

[lofty helm]

theres some anthropology journals that that publish poems in their journals that count towards your academic publications so its 2 birds one stone

[oak gazelle]

What are academic publications?

[lofty helm]

in acedemia, when you publish something it has to be officially recognised, this is done through publishing through a journal. this is extremely important as without publications in reputable journals you have no value in academia. publications are how we get jobs, get membership in societies etc its very necessary. I work in social anthropology and there is a growing poetry scene in my discipline and some of the journals have started publishing poems related to research, these poems have to be submitted with a abstart highlighting how it is anthropological and why it is significant.

[oak gazelle]

Woah! That's fascinating!

What do you mean by memberships in societies, and how do you know which journals are reputable enough to qualify?

[lofty helm]

academic associations, they run conferences and are important for networking.

[oak gazelle]

Ah I see!

[lofty helm]

as for which journals are reputable you look for how many citations their articles get

you also just learn which journals are important in oyur niche through seeing which ones people talk about

[oak gazelle]

I see...

I dunno if I'll ever be a famous or reputable poet, but I sure hope so one day...

[lofty helm]

you write very well i think you got a shot

I expect to maybe make a name for my self in the very niche field of ethnographic poetry and thats about it

[oak gazelle]

That means the world to me, thank you. Seriously!