Poem Game: buried treasure

[past prism]

[unreal glacier]

Davy Jones is back

[past prism]

Oh my god that second part is lovely

[unreal glacier]

interesting meter

[viscid edge]

davy jones breakup song

[unreal glacier]

oh yeah Maroon 5, should use those lyrics

[past prism]

This strikes me(and I an indeed stricken) as a poem about two lovers, one who departed quickly and suddenly, and the other who never learned to let go

[dry totem]

I love that so much! It’s giving me the image of a young couple crowing old together on a shore, and the speaker eventually losing their partner (break up maybe?) It’s like the speaker is saying if the speaker ever feels lost or angered, they are always welcome back in their arms. As if it might help the speakers own broken heart

[past prism]

Oh I love that interpretation!

[viscid edge]

🎶Oooh, under the shells, for you/for you/you forgot/in that hotel room🎶

[tired seal]

As a cis-white male, that is considered an extravagant compliment

[viscid edge]

The pacing reminds me of the coming and going of the breakers along the coast

[unreal glacier]

Oh yeah. A huge one

[dry totem]

I also love that it isn’t rhyming but still has a rhythm

[unreal glacier]

Grabing my keaboard right now

[viscid edge]

clumps of harsher waves followed by peace as the next surge gathers strength

[past prism]

Oh my gosh if that was intentional then I am stunned

Please tell me it was. Lie to me if you have to

[viscid edge]

also the choice to use st augustine as a setting for something depressing is an apt choice

[past prism]

Isn't St Augustine our rockiest beach?

Or one of them?

Sorry, Floridian here, using the "our" XD

[tired seal]

You guys are very kind 😭 and I'm glad that so much of my intention was read and came through.

I actually wrote St Augustine cause the poem is uh... Based on true events 😅

[viscid edge]

yeah and it's still just sandy enough that you think you can walk on the beach and then you realize it's a giant patch of legos

the buildings are made with sand and shells for a reason lol

[tired seal]

Faxs tho

[unreal glacier]

Giving me bad memories

[past prism]

Oh no! I'm so sorry! But at least this rockin banger of a poem came out of it!

[viscid edge]

St Augustine takes another victim

seriously my condolences though

[tired seal]

(I've gotten a lot of poems out of that relationship lol I'll share sometime, they're all posted here somewhere)

[past prism]

Guys, I have a confession to make. My poem was also based on a true story. I have been a pirate for the past seven years and thirty days. 😔

[unreal glacier]

OMG so you are the real Davy JOnes

[viscid edge]

ooh ooh I got a poem

I am a pirate
Ar! I find treasures many!
And I got Scurvy!

[ruby kettle]

*I am a pirate

Ar! I find treasures many!

And I got Scurvy!*

- .rocketdoge

[past prism]

'Tis I, the Daviest guy

[unreal glacier]

Oh man, do you have anyone guarding your treassure?

[past prism]

Alrighty, time for beatnics!

They showed up right on time!

[unreal glacier]

Ok sec

[viscid edge]

Anyways last comment I'll say is that I loved the juxtaposition of the fortress and a hotel

goes from "ancient, majestic" to "sad, kind of run down, cockroaches can live there?"

[past prism]

Of course I do! My mom guards it, because everyone knows that pirates have great parent-child relationships.

[unreal glacier]

https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1129898544308965467

[unreal glacier]

well the respect goes to your mother

[viscid edge]

wholesome ❤️

[unreal glacier]

not many are that supportive of pirates

[past prism]

That was meant to be a sarcastic joke about having mommy issues

[unreal glacier]

I know

[viscid edge]

shows the narrator's melancholy and dejectedness

[past prism]

Sad yar har...

[viscid edge]

"yoo hoo hoo"?

[past prism]

is this from the Secret book?

LMFAO

[unreal glacier]

Well I got daddy isuess so maybe we can like even it out

[ruby kettle]

*Well I got daddy

isuess so maybe we can

like even it out*

- MessedUpBeatnic

[viscid edge]

haikubot strikes again

[past prism]

thank you haikubot

Wait

That sounds

My bad

Lmao

[unreal glacier]

no it's ok.

we can adopt

[past prism]

Bahahaha

[tired seal]

Secret book?

[viscid edge]

pirates are very progressive you know! we oppose private property!

[past prism]

This is true

[unreal glacier]

hmmm

So you like socialists?

[past prism]

there’s a book that was written in the 80s with 12 poems and 12 images and there’s buried casques with gems in them all along the coast of the lower 48 united states and the great lakes

[viscid edge]

"slightly"

[past prism]

🤚 Private property
👌 Pirate property

your poem reminded me of that

[unreal glacier]

Hmmm like Stalin "slightly" opressed people?

[past prism]

"Yar Har" is my new word of the day

the author of the book died and only 2 casques have been found

My word of the day is Tally. Its a funny word

[viscid edge]

no time to argue politics but your tag is literally a beatnik

[past prism]

but I realize now your poem’s treasure is your heart. Because I was legit about to get a dig crew out

Oh! My apologies! I have to take a break!

[unreal glacier]

I know, was just making a joke

[tired seal]

Oh that's so cool thank you so much!

[viscid edge]

sorry getting flashbacks to other less joking people

my bad

[unreal glacier]

no worries

[viscid edge]

should we move onto your poem now for real?

[viscid edge]

oh yeah and clarification so I'm clear: stalin = bad

[unreal glacier]

yep

oh yeah we don't have to clarify that

https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1129898544308965467

[viscid edge]

I've had people who've seemed to need that clarification :tired: