My attempt on a poem

[steep aspen]

Hey! I want criticism on the poem I wrote (idrm if its rude as long as its proper critique)

<@&1116088175618699345>

[heavy sentinel]

honest opinion 8.5/10

nice

[steep aspen]

Thanks. Whatcha think it could use a bit of work on tho?

just for other stuff i write

[heavy sentinel]

well this is just me but i think it would sound better with more ryhming but thats cause i usually write with ryhmes in my poems

[steep aspen]

tbf this is one of my poems that actually attempted some rhyming (or repeated sounds) 😭 , ty for the advice

[heavy sentinel]

no prob lol

[rocky skiff]

I think that poem is very good

[steep aspen]

ty!

[heavy sentinel]

W

[rocky skiff]

I like how you mention that it is easy to disregard someone’s feelings

It’s so true

[heavy sentinel]

philosophical/deep poems are my favorite

[steep aspen]

yep, i added that in tho so talking about the sky can be more relatable (if that makes sense)

[rocky skiff]

Yes ! Me too

[heavy sentinel]

yea it does

[steep aspen]

tbf those poems are the only ones i love writing lol

[midnight dagger]

*tbf those poems

are the only ones i love

writing lol*

- heylo2982

[heavy sentinel]

based

ive onyly written like 5 poems max but all of them were like rlly emotional or philosophical lol

[rocky skiff]

It makes it relatable, indeed

[steep aspen]

lol, i only have 3 decent ones and one garbage one written

[rocky skiff]

Me personally, I write a lot of poetry

[heavy sentinel]

me personally there's no such thing as a bad poem, only lack of understanding

[steep aspen]

i started recently, but its pretty fun

[rocky skiff]

I have a book full of em and my notes are full too

[heavy sentinel]

nice

[rocky skiff]

Agreed

[steep aspen]

there is no way this doesnt count as bad imo

then again ig it was kinda rushed

but yh i dont think its good at all

[heavy sentinel]

i plan on writting more, in fact im writting one rn

[steep aspen]

nc👍

[rocky skiff]

This is quite good

[steep aspen]

i think it had nice message but very poorly executed

[heavy sentinel]

ok its not bad but all it needs is some clean up

[rocky skiff]

Yea

[steep aspen]

yeah im planning on rewriting it

not fully just some lines

[heavy sentinel]

nice

[steep aspen]

do u both wanna add me and we can make a gc and just share some of the poems we wrote maybe

cos this thread is getting kinda long

[heavy sentinel]

i dont mind

[steep aspen]

alr @rocky skiff u wanna?