Plastic Politics [V1]

[median coral]

It’s better to say you don’t understand,
Then to justify the many atrocities of man.

War cries for gain
More lives for game
Flags flown for freedom,
But those don’t include “gays”.

Blame it on love,
Christ used to mask hate.
Price used to discern change,
Their hope is determined by tickets, not ballots
Out of touch officials only care about brackets and status.

Is self-proclaimed “faith” the sole separator between us and apes?
If so…

Your righteousness doesn’t exist,
Your kids are no different from dogs:
To be put down when gon’ against
the monolithic structure of modern society.
Your velleities mean nothing
to those taught to avoid sirens
Movements aren’t ruined by violence,
Keeping quiet is another form of slavery.

You refer to your class and skin,
When addressing the “human race”.

@elfin sky Now that I realize it, I have a lot more to say lol

[elfin sky]

Let me read

[median coral]

ok lol

[elfin sky]

You have a good concept but yea you are telling me these things rather than describing it

[median coral]

Right, so should I mix in a little bit of both?

[elfin sky]

I would do the self proclaimed faith as an allegory like " the pieces of man lost at sea , long gone with the sails of Odysseus where God is said to be " ape is fine but I think u can convey the idea of human evolution in a different way!

[median coral]

Hmm…

Hmmm, I’ve got a lot to work on

[elfin sky]

I'm just providing an example doesn't have to be that per sey but using an allegory that conveys God as removed society is easier than one of an ape

[elfin sky]

Did u read the poem I linked btw

[median coral]

Just did

I see what you mean

[elfin sky]

Did u enjoy

[median coral]

Sort of, not my type of poetry, I like more philosophical stuff lol

Things that make you think

But, I can appreciate the scenes you create with just a few lines

[elfin sky]

I can do both I'm just on an imagery kick rn

[median coral]

Oh, makes sense

Jack of all trades?

[elfin sky]

I've been writing a long time

My style is more imagery heavy but I can do philosophy hell my greed poem is just that

[median coral]

hmm, have a link?

[median coral]

Been 3 years for me

A lot of people tell me I’m good, but it’s like.. I can be so much better

[elfin sky]

https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1124811069299359896

[elfin sky]

8 for me

[median coral]

Ohh, I know what you mean

[elfin sky]

U can do philosophical with it being in ur face

Withour

[median coral]

I’m gonna start writing this down lol

[elfin sky]

I'm not a published writer so take what I say how u will

[median coral]

You don’t have to be lol

You’re the only person that’s given me straightforward advice with examples

Sorta new to even asking for help, so thanks

[elfin sky]

Ik I'm just sad cause I keep getting declined

[median coral]

It’s alright, is that your end goal as an artist..?

writer*

Same difference

[elfin sky]

Yea I want to show my parents I was able to be something

[median coral]

Almost teared up.. Understandable.

[mint relic]

woah bro

[light temple]

I will agree with what Bella said to an extent, but there are a lot of very good poetic beats in here. "Christ used to mask hate", "War cries for gain/ More lives for game" are two standouts as well as "keeping quiet is another form of slavery" reminding me a lot of MLK Jr's "Letter From Birmingham Jail"

So I would say you could work on showing more than telling in your poetry but as it stands you have already achieved some pretty good poetry here

[median coral]

Thanks bru, I’m still gonna work on this piece bc I’ve got a lot more in mind for it