#Just looking for criticism on poem I wrote

7 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

nova tulip
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Hi! just looking for critiques on this (be harsh if you want lol).

waxen kindleBOT
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*Hi! just looking for

critiques on this (be harsh if

you want lol).*

nova tulip
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<@&1116088175618699345>

hexed valve
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Lovely idea, I would suggest to have it more rhythmic.

nova tulip
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Rhyming is prolly my weak point lol, it just doesnt feel right when i force myself to rhyme it so I just usually 'go with the flow'

prisma coral
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i agree

hexed valve
# nova tulip Rhyming is prolly my weak point lol, it just doesnt feel right when i force myse...

Rhyming isn't the only way to make a poem more sonorous. You can do it by repeating a particular sound, like
"The tulips are too excitable, it is winter here.
Look how white everything is, how quiet, how snowed-in.
I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly
As the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands."
Notice how sound of I repeats here, "excitable ", "white", "quite ".....
#!_ the rhythm here, ah.