Lacking Beauty

[coarse orbit]

I don’t want to call me pretty to avoid shame, even if I think I am, in case others don’t feel the same

I’m embarrassed to be confident, what will people think, “she’s not that hot” pity me for believing something I’m not

I’d rather surrender and do nothing stupid, then I’ll get respect, not for my looks, but for not embracing my lacking beauty

[versed furnace]

So what I'd do to revise this is do each line but chop them in half so they're couplets (2 lines per stanza)

Having too many syllables per line can compromise on musicality and flow.

Since we can assume this is an intrapersonal poem, you don't really need to say "I" unless that "I" plays a part in a deeper theme.

[coarse orbit]

Oh okay I’ll keep that in mind

[versed furnace]

Personification and metaphors are often used when it comes to imagery.

I'm making the same mistake of not incorporating the correct stylistic devices that help the reader image the scenario in the poem.

So you can draw from a certain feeling and capitalise on said feeling.

Such as "I don't want to call me pretty to avoid shame, even if I think I am, in case others don't feel the same"

So this is a preconceived notion of the others around you, which would be the main idea in this line in particular.

Take this theme in the line and think of how you can capitalise on it:

Listing specific examples while keeping it concise
Or analogies with poetic works that get the same message across

Actually that preconceived notion spans onto the other lines. I didn't see that.

[coarse orbit]

Thank you I always try to explain what I want across in other words but it’s so hard to find a great comparison

[versed furnace]

It's fine. It takes time to polish a certain line to get it to be perfect.

[coarse orbit]

Do you mean that the first lines meaning reaches through the whole poem? Sorry English isn’t my first language that why I clarify

[versed furnace]

I would say it is the root cause to the theme.

The preconceived notions of others can lead to one's self-esteem.

It's mainly just the matter of how far you take the theme with you.

[coarse orbit]

When you said this, should I had done something else if the preconceived notion didn’t show through the whole poem?

[versed furnace]

No. Think of the notion as the gas in your car: it's what's meant to push the narrative in the poem forward.

It can be subtle or it can be outright.

[coarse orbit]

Okay thank you so much, really this helped!!