#A walk through the woods

26 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

hollow folio
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I am confused about this part of the poem:

When you can say hello to a slug
I say ‘Hello there, my little man’

Are they responding to a greeting given to a slug or calling the person who was greeted a slug?

real mesa
hollow folio
real mesa
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i was saying hello to the slug

hollow folio
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Maybe change you in the second line to the personal pronoun, "I."

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Or just when to if

real mesa
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whats the difference between if and when

hollow folio
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It doesn't really sound right to me

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But that's your choice

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Whatever floats your boat

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So that is why I think it doesn't sound right in that context

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Every day is merry and bright,
If I can greet a slug in sight
I say, 'Hello there, little friend.'
As it glides along the bend.

What brings you here?
Are you exploring somewhere?
Or are you here to provoke my ire?
I kneel and examine it.

As its slim body continues its glide,
I bid farewell with warmth inside.
The woods and forests, your sovereign domain,
I tread gently, your path to maintain.

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That's how I would improve it

real mesa
# hollow folio

i am certain talking to a slug will improve your day, just like i am certain i prefer to use when

hollow folio
real mesa
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"When or if?
We use when to refer to a future situation or condition that we are certain of, whereas we use if to introduce a possible or unreal situation."

hollow folio
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Well, being able to talk to a slug is unrealistic.

real mesa
real mesa
hollow folio
hollow folio
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Whatever floats your boat

hollow folio
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I'm sorry, I didn't know.