#love is futile (feedback appreciated)

4 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

autumn sparrow
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I think there's something wrong with me,
I seek love as if it's my sole reason for being
It's became almost an obsession
Though despite your absence, everything's the same

Perhaps I've grown so familiar with the void you gradually molded
That now that you're gone, nothing has really changed
You were never there for me, and now I know for certain you never can be

But why aren't I hurting
I can't feel the warmth of your voice
I can barely remember the colour of your eyes
The eyes I could spend hours in
So why, why don't i care

Maybe I'm heartless,
Maybe I was never capable of love so when I lost it, I just walked on
Always searching for the love I can't feel
Like a traveller unaware that his legs don't move

hardy wolf
#

honestly i think your poem is great, but I do think there's a lot of filler text that makes the text slightly more convoluted and you could make it much simpler by just removing some words/phrases like "gradually" from "gradually molded" and "for certain" from "for certain you never can be"

#

but honestly great poem, you should be proud of it

autumn sparrow