Caul

[rain oracle]

It seems to me, in some way
That somehow, some day
I became defected
and I lost my way.
Like a dead pixel in a brand new display,
or a washed-out green from a brand new paint tray.
Like a weak G from a fresh pack of strings,
Or the missing poster from a nostalgic ocean of things.
My smile is empty, unclean
My laugh, with sadness, is infected
And my eyes are dried in a haze of misgiving
Dried by the fires of regret, stoked by the caul of my innocence dying.

[mighty saddle]

I love this, particularly the rhyme in “nostalgic ocean of things”! What does caul mean though?

Love your Irish name btw

[rain oracle]

The caul is the amniotic membrane (like that a fetus is in). Usually the caul bursts, but very rarely babies are born & delivered still in the caul, and in some communities/places it's an auspicious occurrence (i.e., to be born with a caul). So the imagery is the caul [of innocence] protecting me, but burning up in a fire of regret