#Forgotten Language

13 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

eager meteor
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I do not know
When my cohesive sentences
Turned into rambles and then words
pulled from distant memories

Trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle
Where the memories went from the speakings
of a young girl to something my brain
Had picked apart and translated

i do not have a single memory
where everything was in that language
that flew through my ears at school
and surrounded me
at the corner of an almost parisian city

i breathed, the “excusex-mois” and
“Ca va’s” yet all i remember was
The measly english class we barely had once a month

Je ne sais pas
I do not know
how my language got boxed
taped and tangled to be sent of
and i wonder when my package will
Return to me, with my fluent memories
and let my speak my forgotten language.

slim flare
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I'll need an idea of what the criteria for evaluation is, so that I can give optimal feedback.

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If that's alright.

eager meteor
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yeah of course!!

slim flare
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Hm, very interesting poem, overall. I like that there was a bit of two languages involved in the making of this poem.

eager meteor
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Structure and Form
SOund and Rhythmn
Understanding
Consitency
Theme

slim flare
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I also found a part of it that ya didn't nail.

eager meteor
slim flare
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The soft command part with "excusez-moi" and "ça va's"

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But otherwise, the French was on point.

eager meteor
slim flare
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I'm normally not one for freeform poetry, but I honestly like what you have.

eager meteor
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thnak you soooo much!!