turbid echo
When the rain comes by again
i hope to see thunder
but even if it does show up
you'd better not blink for you'd miss it
How i wish for the rainbow
when it's just the piercing, magnificent sun,
from which i shield myself
unless i wish to burn
It is but the sight of you
That makes the seasons change rapidly
And even if i try to balance them out
It would take one glance from you
for it to crumble into pieces
*Also if this could improve in anyway please let me know
velvet sluice
This is goood
jolly gorge
Yeah this is actually really nice
jolly gorge
This is not cringe
velvet sluice
and u dont need a rhyme scheme @turbid echo
free verse exists
moreover, the idea behind poetry is to convey a thought/message
not to make lines rhyme
and i think ur poem does that beautifully
turbid echo
ooh okay, any way i could improve it tho? i think i should
velvet sluice
i think its good as it is
as u start writing more, u'll start improving automatically
jolly gorge
Also to make it into a rhyme scheme
1.Choose a rhyme scheme
ABAB and AABB are the best
2. Find a good line that fits with the theme
3. Find a word that ends with the last word and try to make another line
If you don't find one, change your first line
Between ABAB and AABB I'd recommend ABAB for inspirational or romantic or emotional poetry and AABB for more like story poems
Like @velvet sluice said though, you don't have to rhyme, it's about the poem's message. But if you can deliver the message with rhymes, it'll be great
velvet sluice
+1 ^^
turbid echo
yea this poem is brilliant
thank youu 😩
jolly gorge
Reminds me of gyomei from kimetsu no yaiba