#Mystery to Me

7 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

broken pond
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A dead cadaver in the tree
Impaled, or maybe hanging
Out with the little leaves.
Not an accident, but a murder mystery.

Whodunnit, Was it?

The teachers of the stressed victim,
Specifically, one in mind to blame.
He who has brought pressure to games:
The coach of madness and pain…

Or was it?

The friendly friends of the ice, cold body,
Or rather the ones he imagined to be.
His “friends” magically appear and gather
To give much needed love around the cadaver.
(But it’s now too late for it to matter)

Or was it?

The parents. The siblings. The cousins as well.
Aunts and uncles. Had the entire family
Conspired together to make life a hidden hell.
What used to be unconditional love
is merely forced smiles hiding envious threats.

Or was it?

Simply the tree. A fall from gravity?
Mother Nature is known to do such things
As it causes disasters and gives meaning.
His mind may have just lost the purpose of things,
So nature must have caused his upbringing.

broken pond
#

(Added "part 2")

short kraken
#

This is sick!!

flat tiger
# broken pond A dead cadaver in the tree Impaled, or maybe hanging Out with the little leaves....

Originality of concept: 17/20 - While the concept of a murder mystery is not entirely original, the poem adds an interesting twist by exploring the possibility that nature itself may have played a role in the victim's death.

Use of words: 18/20 - The language used in the poem is evocative and powerful, with vivid descriptions and effective use of literary devices such as metaphor and personification.

Complexity of idea: 22/25 - The poem explores complex themes such as betrayal, envy, and psychological trauma in a nuanced and thought-provoking manner. The different suspects and their potential motives are explored in depth, adding to the complexity of the idea.

Abstract use of English rules: 24/25 - The poem effectively employs figurative language and poetic techniques to convey its themes and ideas. The language flows smoothly and effectively employs the rules of English grammar and syntax.

Idea conveyed and captured effectively: 9/10 - The poem effectively captures the sense of tension and unease associated with a murder mystery, and raises thought-provoking questions about the nature of relationships and human psychology.

Overall, the poem scores a total of 90/100. The poem effectively uses language and literary techniques to explore complex themes and ideas, and captures the essence of a murder mystery in a thought-provoking and impactful way.

broken pond
#

also the "poem-review" is much appreciated

broken pond
#

PART 3 (a continuation)