Haunt Of Life

[hollow vapor]

Lights out
Darkness all around
A creepy sound
Was heard aloud

Following the sound
You took a turn about
The next thing you heard
Was a shout

Turning on the torch
You follow the shout
Juggling between
Like a ball that can bounce.

Careful steps towards the hall
Don't be so sure
That you can survive it all
It can be reason of your fall

Ignoring the urge
To run outside
You lift your leg
To step inside

You sensed a sharp breath
Right Beside
Before you could turn
Inside you, there was a knife

The shouts were a sign
You should've kept the case aside
But curiousity got the best
Of you this time.

Falling on the floor
When you look behind
The killer was of none other
Than your trusted ally.

[craggy niche]

i love how the short length of each line adds on to the mystery! i personally feel like the end of the killer being the reader's trusted ally was a bit abrupt, though. what i mean is, throughout the entirety of the poem there's a sense of looming loneliness, so it's difficult to paint a picture of betrayal all of a sudden, which is what i can think of right away after reading the last line, because there was no mention of trust prior to the betrayal earlier in the poem. maybe you could have two characters from the beginning itself and change their dynamic from mutually scared to betrayed? idk if that makes any sense, but i hope you get my point. great job otherwise!

[hollow vapor]

It does. That makes sense, I'll try incorporating that.

Thank you so much for responding!