Amazing poem. I think the feeling of that abrupt stop comes from the difference of syllables in both lines.
"I'll never know what it's like" - 7 syllables
"To be his." - 3 syllables.
Maybe if you added two or three lines in between, slowly reducing the number of syllables, it could work?
#This poem means a lot to me but i feel as if it comes to an abrupt stop, how can i simply improve it
solemn flower
gloomy sluice
ya i just kinda ended it quickly because i didnt have the time to keep going, but when i came back to this im not sure how to end it, i want it to be just like what i have but in better words ykyk
gloomy sluice
Amazing poem. I think the feeling of that abrupt stop comes from the difference ...
how about now? what are your thoughts?
solemn flower
It's really good! Perhaps you could split the last line to add the same effect I feel like you wanted to achieve originally?
You could go from
"I'm simply grateful to be alive."
to
"I'm simply grateful
to be alive."
(However if you think it sounds better without splitting it, don't listen to me lol because it's an amazing poem either way)
gloomy sluice
ya i think spitting it would be better and it would seem like for of an ending because it loses my pattern. Thank youu ill do that