Flawless

[drifting ocean]

I rlly like this one! The second and third stanzas don't make that much sense to me (what is the grip tightening around? What do you mean by turn it into matter? What is the thing that 'you own', because it seems to be correlating to 'my word', but that wouldn't make sense..),

But the first and last stanzas are really good! I don't know if you realise, but in a lot of mythology craziness is tied to the moon. Lunacy/loony all come from luna (moon in latin). I love the second last line a lot, it communicates the domination that's been carried throughout really well, and the rhythm is nice too! The last line really makes it all make sense, and I like how it wraps everything up.

[frank yew]

yeah I actually don't understand the tendency to perpetuate that lunacy link to the moon. What are the benefits of doing so? I don't like to think we're all werewolves under the moon 🙂

I like how moons are used as a time measure here, not only a source of lunacy. I love the paradoxical ending. "Even if it's the last thing you own" seems rather loose. Consider omitting the third stanza to make the whole poem stronger.

[steady yacht]

WHAA thank u guys for the advice!!🥺

[steady yacht]

I think it's strange too ngl, but perhaps the moon is also a symbol for emotions? Or maybe because of the mysterious vibe of it?

[jagged moat]

It's quite refreshing take one tries to even out and judgement yet it's the sanity has been gone now ..

We may attempt to get it back.. so the measures taken by the poet seems like a double edged sword.

[steady yacht]

lwhdkdbd joining this server was one of my best decisions. i love getting advice and actual commentary on my poems from people who ar as passionate abt it as i am!!🥺

[steady yacht]

I FORGOT TO REPLY "the grip tightens" ig was a weird way to show that someone who's being judged is in the lyrical subjects palm? "turn it into matter" I think i meant like "destroy" or "pick apart" or "analyze"? something like that. "thing you'll own" kshdkd i liked the idea of the lyrical subject being so all powerful that their word (or judgement/verdict) would be something you could "own" ig. perhaps i expressed it in a weird way, i do apologize:')) also! i loved the way you interpreted it! i think it's so charming that every person can interpret art in different ways - i mean the words are the same for all of us, but we understand them differently! truly lovely interpretation of yours!!

[normal sinew]

I like this poem!

Its amazing

[glad bone]

THIS IS SOOOOOOO ETHEREAL!!!! You've literally given me so much inspiration rn. The last two lines were my favorite. You are unbelievably good