#big shitty corporation

1222 messages · Page 2 of 2 (latest)

ornate plinth
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good idea

lean wharf
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where are the houses

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everyone is already working 24/7

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also they shouldn't be fed

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they shall be malnourished

pliant urchin
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we send them to the aliens

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trick them into doing the captcha

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and die

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so we can stop an alien invasion

lean wharf
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we bought every single universe

wary vale
lean wharf
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we want the opposite

ivory oak
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and also mercury

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we had to mine it for more material last year

tall moat
wary vale
tall moat
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we are not about to give that back

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to motherfucking nature

wary vale
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and they wont be able to sleep

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becase wildlife will traumatize them

pliant urchin
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How about if someone gets fired we give them a farewell salad but in the salad theres actually poison ivy and extra liquid uranium mixed in the dressing so they die

ivory oak
pliant urchin
shut plover
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delete nature

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straight up kill all plants

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and animals

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...wait humans count as animals, OH FUCK

lean wharf
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not a single blade of grass shall be seen

shut plover
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delete the food chain and replace it with a ffa battle royale match

faint gyro
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how bad could i possibly be

worthy harborBOT
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agoddamnbanana ·
wary vale
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7th

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sajgdsjad

calm tartan
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make the entire world an FFA

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but the bosses and above are all spectators

shut plover
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replace the concept of afterlife with... actually you know what fuck you you dont get to die, WORK FOREVER.

pliant urchin
tall moat
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you can get sent to get tortured in the sandpaper room but cant die

ivory oak
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when an employee does substandard work instead of firing, we send them to work at the lunch line

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otherwise known as the cheese grater shift

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its similar to the sandpaper room but vertical, and the flesh falls onto the conveyor belt

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and lead into an oven and cooked slightly then placed into other employees lunch trays

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we have necromancers on board too to ensure the flesh is regenerated

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and the screams are put into a microphone and wind turbine combo to produce power for the facility

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win/win situation, employee keeps their job, we get more work

south pond
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Our employees are our last priority, money is first and nukes are second

shut plover
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oh god theres an overpopulation problem

INVEST IN SPACE BASES (those bases will have nothing but offices)

ivory oak
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we filled the universe already

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last week

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its just cubicals and larger cubicals

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and also storage space

shut plover
south pond
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we should buy other universes

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we have the cannons to do it

steep vector
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Is this a canon event?

queen lynx
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invest in bots that say 'r74N'

lean wharf
ivory oak
lime bone
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death

lime bone
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can we cut people in half

south pond
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we can cut them in 4 pieces because thats more piece per piece (math definitely checks out)

tall moat
ivory oak
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and put the meat in the food chutes for other employees to eat
about one cubic centimeter of flesh for every employee every week

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then we have the necromancy department bring them back

orchid sail
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Our mages should work on prioritising cheating reality with magic

shut plover
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good idea
so we can summon in money even though there is practically no currency system left (except for the canteen who sells the smallest amount of food possible)

shut plover
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guys why are you meeting up in the non-existent room my rank isn't high enough yet

lime bone
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starving torture

wanton bear
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okay so

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hear me out

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what if we went to an impoverished nation

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cut down all the trees and demolish all the houses

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drain all the water

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kill or steal every animal and plant nearby

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and then force the people to work in our sweatshops at slave wages

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to buy back their food and water

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and then we set up a charity which will funnel a large majority of its profits into one of our shell corporations

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and gives the remaining fraction of a percent to the people there in money that they will have to use to buy back food and water from us

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then we donate a few million dollars to that charity and use it as a PR move

lime bone
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lets commit defamation on the random group that develops open-source software

torpid tree
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you’re all hired

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except piloc

faint gyro
wanton bear
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thanks

viral lodge
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put our employees in bags and spin them around in washing machines for our own entertainment

wanton bear
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donate overly priced mass produced art to an art museum to write off the donation on our taxes and only pay an infinitely smaller cost of bribing a few art appraisers

south pond
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lets turn all art into NFTs

wanton bear
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not all of it

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what we should do is create a disinformation campaign that will get people to invest heavily in nfts and cryptocurrency

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most people wont fall for it

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but enough will

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then after a few months we create our own lines of nfts powered by our own cryptocurrency

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slowly we defraud the people who buy them

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not by much

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maybe by pennies on the hundred dollar bill

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skew the algorithms in our favor

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and because of how overwhelmingly stupid you would have to be to fall for this

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there will be no large scale media coverage

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any smaller local media sources that try to cover this we will place into a deadlock with permanently drawn out lawsuits until they give up or we own every penny they have

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any social media coverage will be met with a flood of bots saying variations of "this person made a shitty investment and is seeing the consequences, stop giving your sympathy and encouraging this stuff"

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playing on the fact that anger is the emotion with the most potential to drive thoughts (yes this is a real thing)

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this will allow us to effectively rob anywhere from a few thousand to a few million people

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which will be an incredibly lucrative maneuver

faint gyro
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damn he cookin…

crisp folio
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ame... r... ica

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(the r stands for something)

viral lodge
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we should buy bilboards around the world that say "the game"

uneven stratus
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hi

lean wharf
torpid tree
honest pendant
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breathe manually

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blink manually

viral lodge
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jeez

honest pendant
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swallow saliva manually

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feel your clothes

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feel your hair

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feel every muscle of your body when standing

viral lodge
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oh god

honest pendant
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i dont remember any more spells

lean wharf
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lmao

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this is probably the most angry ggod has been

honest pendant
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that was just a joke but yeah I don't tend to show strong emotions on discord

lime bone
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what if we make a restaurant and an app about that restaurant which secretly steals all your information and when you come in the menu is just the foods that you hate

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and no refunds

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and to get a table in the restaurant it costs 10 dollars for a person

lean wharf
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whos gonna eat there if our employees CANT EAT!!!

lime bone
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people

shut plover
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you have to pay a dollar for every second you exist now

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that should give us about 30758400 dollars per year

lime bone
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you have to kill cars as a form to pay bills

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and not doing so makes you play game : the game

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and it will appear on airplane tvs as ads

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and you cant skip it

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and the ad is 5 minutes and a half seconds long

calm tartan
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left with a lot of troops and heavy weapons

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and murdered a lot of the working class

wanton bear
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guys

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we need to actually make profit

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we cant do that if all of our customers are dead

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but if our non-customers are dead

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then that would be a good idea

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what if we bought up a 100% or near 100% monopoly on real estate in a highly populated area

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anyone who didnt sell it to us would obviously be dragged into an endless legal battle until they lose everything to legal fees

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then we lobby to remove all homeless support and add severly hostile architecture

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after that we rent out all the buildings for high prices

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make sure everyone is too poor to leave the area

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and then slowly buy out all stores and hotels and such

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replace all of them with either more overpriced apartment complexes or our stores

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by doing this we will have an effectively permanent monopoly over all labor in an entire town

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then we just need to repeat this

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make sure to not do it too many times in the same state in order to stay under the radar

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and by the end of it we will have millions upon millions of people forced to work for us in their every waking moment for their entire lives or else die

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any objections?

lean wharf
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get an employee slave to make a drug that makes you live forever so we can inject it in all our employees

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so our employees can work forever

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we rule the world

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this is how much land we have

2Q.png
vale adder
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Buy out some random passion projects and make them p2w. Great way to make the video gamers hate our ass at big shitty corporation

honest pendant
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p2w sandboxels

lime bone
south pond
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what about we actually make mini corps to make us seem better while having each mini corp being a super evil slave factory, then we should use a team of lawyers to sue those companies to make us seem even better, while were at it we purchase most other uncontrolled corporations (ford, McDonalds etc) after we do that we assemble a sort of anthem for our corporation while we do that we use heavy amounts of mind addicting addictives in purchased food corporations (Mcdonalds, Bars, etc) after that is done we make sure to burn all the evidence of our crimes and if anyone threatens to expose us we retire them from life. After all of this we would be the only megacorp and certain nations would see us as a threat so we firstly bomb the UN then we would be able to construct heavy weapons that could allow us to devestate the world's military which will allow us to turn the entire world's population into slaves which could almost 10x production and we resell to alien markets which could allow us to make more slave labor and lead us to a total command of our galaxy and then we should harness the energy of space objects (stars, black holes, neutron stars, etc) this gives us the power to decimate entire civilizations and end all resistance against our Megacorp.

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And if a slave revolt were to happen, just EXTERMINATE THEM

shut plover
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milk the fuck out of valentines day to uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh do we even have customers or are they all slaves now uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

lean wharf
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no customers

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they are slaves

vale adder
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To solve this issue, we can put them in our corporate shopping playground! Now with extra hidden surveillance!

sacred zealot
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Invent disease that makes it feel like you’ve always got a hair in your mouth

pulsar acorn
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uh... hi shit?

south pond
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we should make all employees pay to breathe on company grounds

vale adder
sacred zealot
viral lodge
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can we start crashing our satelites so people find hydrogen tanks in trees

Screenshot_20250219-231516.png
lean wharf
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we should make the worlds tallest tower that stretches to the star alpha centauri

pliant urchin
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the building has been shut down back in 2025 due to illegal stuff

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i think

vale adder
orchid sail
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update: ||arc raiders|| is banned here due to being ||way to good for the average person||

scenic skiff
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yall hear me out

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we

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only produce ram in 0.5gb sizes so they have to buy alot and make them 1mm by 1mm so that they have to manually assemble them piece by piece but make them not connect properly 90% of the time

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We charge them $1 for the chip and $14 for the shipping

wanton bear
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YES

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and we use weirdly shaped screws

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and force people to use the screws to assemble the ram or else it wont work

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and we will rent out the screws and screwdrivers

orchid sail
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What if we round everything up in price to the next 200 £/$ mark

long turtle
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what if we change the spots of everything every day make AI pick what time it is and where it is changed (the most water wasting ones)

scenic skiff
wanton bear
calm tartan
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and the sticks only contain the activation key

lean wharf
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big shitty corp has died down

vale adder
lean wharf
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????

lean wharf
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i know the founder personally

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beat that

granite ermine
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i own u

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beat that

lean wharf
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beat that

alpine scaffold
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We need to acquire the medium piss corp to eliminate the competition

wanton bear
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the MEDIUM PISS CORP

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i feel like they are gonna get ran out of business

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accelerate it

scenic skiff
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what about the small phlegm facility

wanton bear
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no idea

shut plover
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guys we have actual competition

the massive excrement company

alpine scaffold
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Time for a hostile takeover

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Let's offer them 2,50$ per Stock for the first million and then go down to 75¢ per stock for the 300 thousand remaining ones.