#A Better Version Of Me Every Day (My Diary)

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chilly hearth
sullen nimbus
elfin jewel
sullen nimbus
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Beautiful!

novel radish
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I am starting this post to share my progress and to encourage each other to achieve our goals. As my summer holiday is beginning, I'm setting goals to work on:

  • Repairing my sleep schedule (waking up early and sleeping early, even if itā€™s hard with the hot weather).
  • Praying on time and starting to memorize the Quran.
  • Improving my coding skills, advancing the languages I speak, and completing my training.
  • Reaching 100 subscribers on my YouTube channel and Instagram account (it may seem like a small number, but it's significant for me).
  • Journaling every day to aid in healing.
  • Reducing my social media scrolling time to 1 hour a day (I've noticed it has increased to 3 hours during these free days).
  • Trying new activities to enjoy my time (come on, itā€™s the summer holiday - I'm talking to myself here).
  • Gaining 2 kilograms by eating healthily.
  • Thinking and researching to choose the best field that fits my goals (I'm currently undecided between two fields).
  • Preparing the paperwork for my internship planned in August.
    Letā€™s support each other and make this summer productive and fulfilling!
novel radish
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I am starting journaling today, focusing on reflecting on my emotions related to failures, childhood traumas, anger, and sadness. Today's prompt is: What is a childhood experience that still causes you sadness today?

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"When I was a child, around 10 years old if I remember correctly, I was in middle school and it was my first year. In elementary school, I attended a private school. So, I grew up with children from wealthy families or those from families where both parents worked. Therefore, I was quite naive. The middle school I attended was where my mother worked. My mother chose my class and even insisted on which girl I should become friends with. Since I didn't have a choice (I was a shy and quiet child and I didnā€™t defend myself at that age), this girl, who was supposed to be my friend, had another friend. We started spending our time together at school. The girl my mother told me to be friends with didn't stay much at school since I waited for my mother sometimes (my parents are protective, and going to school alone by bus is now a big success for me) until she finished her work.
So, I began to stay with my friend's friend, and we became close. One day, during the break before the French class (the teacher was a friend of my mother), my friend gave me a small notebook with a page filled with questions like: what is your favorite dish? Who is your girlfriend? I started answering until the question "who is your boyfriend?" Well, I am a Muslim girl, and in our religion, it is forbidden. Besides, I didn't have one. So, I put a question mark, and the teacher walked in. I closed the notebook, but she noticed. She took the notebook, read the page where I had answered, smiled at me, and started the lesson. I didn't think it was something important to tell my parents.

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After a week, and precisely on Thursday, it was a free day, and I stayed at home. The teacher talked to my mother about the notebook and told her that this girl could have a negative impact on me. What makes me sad to this day is that my mother blamed me and asked why I hadn't told her about what had happened, but I didn't think it was necessary (Iā€™m waiting for your opinion). After that, she talked to my father, and they decided that I shouldn't talk to any boys, which affected me negatively and I became introverted. Additionally, in my first year at university, I discovered that I had communication problems, especially with men and boys my age. Well, I've worked on these problems, but I still need to work more. I think this childhood experience still causes me sadness today.

chilly hearth
novel radish
sullen nimbus
chilly hearth
novel radish
novel radish
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These days, I had to make a tough decision: choosing the field to specialize in as an engineering student. Actually, it wasn't just about choosing a field, but ranking the fields at my school from my first choice to the last. At my school, there are four fields (one is new and not yet confirmed): Artificial Intelligence and Cybersecurity, Digital and Industrial Transformation, Agri-food Industry, and Electrical Engineering and Renewable Energies.

During my early years at university, I noticed my passion for the computer science field and my struggles with electrical modules. Before the addition of the AI and Cybersecurity field, I had decided to study Digital and Industrial Transformation because it covers both computer science and industry. Therefore, I was torn between these two fields, making my decision difficult.

Secondly, during these university years, I was traumatized by some math professors and wanted to avoid having them in the upcoming years. Unfortunately, I am required to have at least one of the two.

During these days, I felt emotions of fear: fear of making the wrong decision, that the field I would study would be difficult, or that I wouldn't like it. Eventually, I managed these emotions by reminding myself that Allah will help me and that whatever happens will be the right thing for me. I also felt excited. Today, I made my decision and chose the new field as my first choice. Even though I'm still not sure, I'm confident that Allah will choose what is best for me. I am determined, adaptable, responsible, and creative. No matter which field I study, I am sure I will excel with the help of Allah and my hard work, Inshallah.

novel radish
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I decided to answer the question, 'What does a peaceful day look like for me?' I donā€™t know about you, but I feel like I have a small social battery. For example, if I chat with people for just one hour, I feel drained and need some alone time to recharge. A peaceful day for me means having time to pray on time, read my book, enjoy my hobbies, and have 'me time' to recharge my energy. In reality, it might take me about three days or more to fully recharge. So, a peaceful day is all about balance and finding moments for myself.

leaden elk
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helloo

young girderBOT
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GG @leaden elk, you just advanced to level 1! šŸ„³