Hockey

[hidden parrot]

https://nypost.com/2024/12/06/sports/rangers-trade-jacob-trouba-to-ducks-to-captains-divisive-tenure/

WOWOWOWOWOWOW

lets fucking goooooo hes their problem now

Now they have space for a hotboy. MCDAVID MCDAVID MCDAVID

[brave bolt]

nah y’all just gave igor 12 million a year

[brave bolt]

are you ready to admit trouba is dirty now 💀

[hidden parrot]

We still have 22 mill left in cap after that and Igor is well worth that price. He’s the best goalie in the league by far

And no cause that’s not what I said. my argument was that Trouba was/is no less dirty that other players like him. IE Tom Wilson

[brave bolt]

i’d pay igor whatever he wants

truly

[hidden parrot]

Id give him my first born if he asked for it

[brave bolt]

https://x.com/chaycnstarz/status/1865070300125163703?s=46

chaney🤠 (@chaycnstarz) on X

jacob trouba trade this jacob trouba trade that, we’ve forgotten what actually matters today and it’s this masterpiece’s 13th anniversary

Twitter · Dec 6, 2024, 4:26 PM

[brave bolt]

https://x.com/duke_dutchy/status/1865185071688261737?s=46

Duke Dutchy (@duke_dutchy) on X

igor wakes up from his money surgery

igor: where's trouba

doctor: who do you think gave you the money

Twitter · Dec 7, 2024, 12:02 AM

[hidden parrot]

Hahahaha this is very funny

[tepid drum]

Utah Hockey Club still sounds fake.

[tepid drum]

Lol so many fights. Just saw a fight break into 3 separate fights.

I think we are up to 5 or 6 tonight and I started watching in the second.

They’re yelling at each other in the box.

[tepid drum]

Sharks need to hire an enforcer again this is getting ridiculous

We need to jazz up the league here

[tepid drum]

https://www.vxtiktok.com/t/ZTY4QemoY/

Why are my teams bad and hate me personally

[autumn remnant]

ouch

at least you have macklin celebrini

[tepid drum]

Hes gotten under everyone’s skin and he’s close to getting snipered at a game I fear for him rn

[tepid drum]

I fear this sharks oilers game is gonna be double digits goals for both teams

[tepid drum]

I found this cleaning my phone today. Nothing changes.

[tepid drum]

What outfit do these Canucks have on they look like Bees

My tv is just too small is yellow stripes on black.

And instigator penalty and a 10 minute major. How fun!

[tepid drum]

https://www.vxtiktok.com/t/ZTY78J54X/

[tepid drum]

State of Minnesota won world juniors today.

[proud iris]

Oh how cute for them

[gloomy dove]

It was mostly BC and BU though

[tepid drum]

True

Some broadcaster said most were from Minnesota

I did not check their work

[autumn remnant]

yeah there were a lot of people born in minny

[tepid drum]

Maybe Boston won all along.

[autumn remnant]

BC boys my beloved <3

[tepid drum]

https://x.com/kavinm95/status/1876090549691994381?s=46&t=hQzDunEJ-24RYKJr84ixkw

Kavin Mistry (@kavinm95) on X

📸 Macklin 🦈

Twitter · Jan 6, 2025, 2:16 AM

This is like the part in Aladdin

He’s going to find the lamp

[proud iris]

I don’t know what this means 😂

[gloomy dove]

Boston College and Boston University. one of the two premier NCAA programs for hockey

[proud iris]

Ahhhhhh

[tepid drum]

https://x.com/aristhought/status/1876467951303622894?s=46&t=hQzDunEJ-24RYKJr84ixkw

jake ッ (@aristhought) on X

someone put the vancouver canucks in bubble wrap

Twitter · Jan 7, 2025, 3:16 AM

there’s always the team every season

[brave bolt]

https://x.com/chicletsbian/status/1876462604274860527?s=46

bry! (@chicletsbian) on X

i’d hate to be a goalie because what the fuck do you mean the puck got through all of you people and now i have to stop it. not my fucking problem

Twitter · Jan 7, 2025, 2:55 AM

[tepid drum]

And the only person you’re allowed to fight is the other goalie.

[tepid drum]

https://x.com/niallerxhbw/status/1878167371317182902?s=46&t=hQzDunEJ-24RYKJr84ixkw

⁴³ wiktoria🏒 (@niallerxhbw) on X

canucks: we have plan
us: what plan?
canucks plan:

Twitter · Jan 11, 2025, 7:49 PM

[brave bolt]

https://fixvx.com/penguins/status/1880445916781421024?s=46

lfg ned

[autumn remnant]

the only goalie to score in the NHL AHL and ECHL !!!!!!!

[autumn remnant]

"why is the panthers admin at your wedding" THATS OOMF

[tepid drum]

The Sharks are a psyop

[tepid drum]

Some who they’ve scored 3 and tied the game since I started watching.

[autumn remnant]

can confirm

[brave bolt]

did you guys know

that four nations are facing off

[autumn remnant]

four nations 😐 facing off 😐

[brave bolt]

why’d they put my man saying it twice in one ad

like couldn’t get him to say anything else

[sturdy hawk]

Why no i had no idea

What four nations could have beef in a hockey context?

/s

[brave bolt]

sidney crosby doing sidney crosby shit

my goat

[brave bolt]

i’m about to freak out ngl

the way everyone involved with this broadcast wants to ignore austons existence

let’s just not even mention him. give a whole interview to a tkachuk

might aswell just assume he’s not even involved in this tournament let alone the captain

oh i’m livid

[cedar geyser]

Question

Do the USA wags have to rush order a jacket for Quinns gf

Or do they have extras

[brave bolt]

quinn was originally on the roster and pulled out

so perhaps she already has one

[cedar geyser]

Omg you are so right

Phew

[cedar geyser]

This rangers-pens game is fun

[brave bolt]

yeah i’m having so much fun 😑

[deft shore]

how does one get into hockey?

[tepid drum]

I think the way my friends got into it the best was going to a game in person. Even the minor leagues or college.

Being at the ice makes a difference.

[deft shore]

Even if you don’t have knowledge in hockey whatsoever?

[tepid drum]

Yeah. The main objective is to get the puck in the opponents net and I worried less about knowing the rules.

Im still lost half the time.

[tepid drum]

The Rangers team bus hit Macklin Celebrinis car after the game yesterday.

[tepid drum]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2TK2Tco/ me if I went out in public

[tepid drum]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2EEXpKf/

I am wailing in the club.

They had a make a wish kid who got to fight Macklin Celebrini and they put him in the penalty box.

[proud iris]

Oh my gossshhhh 🥺🥺🥺

[tepid drum]

I didn’t even cry at the club, I wailed.

[proud iris]

What choice do you have??

[tepid drum]

🧐

[near tree]

The kraken continue to disappoint me but I love them
I just hope they don’t sell off all the players I love this summer looking at you and your house clearing bruins

[lilac moth]

For the first time in a while I’ve genuinely been excited to watch playoff hockey but the details coming out about the 2018 wj case made me remember why I had to stop watching for a while.

[near tree]

Legit turned on a game last night, read one of Rick Westhead’s posts, and turned off the game

[hidden parrot]

uhm not the ducks hiring joel quenneville

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/6313208/2025/05/08/quenneville-anaheim-ducks-coach/

[brave bolt]

oh that’s not……

[hidden parrot]

v bad!

i dont care how desperate your team is, this man should never have a career in hockey ever again

[tepid drum]

The Ducks had to release a statement about their coach already.

Here’s my response:

[brave bolt]

how can we make it so neither team wins the stanley cup

asking for a friend

[tepid drum]

Flee the country

[proud iris]

I have a friend who lives in Edmonton and is a lifelong diehard Oilers fan, so he is the one (1) person who is excited😂

[tepid drum]

If they win, Canada gets Stanley cup and might not ever give it back. The other hand? Florida.

[brave bolt]

i really think we should just cancel the stanley cup this year

[brave bolt]

deboer also sucks so much. blaming your goalie?????

[hidden parrot]

I hate hate hate the panthers so I’ll be happy with an oilers win even if it means Canada gets the cup back. That’s how much I hate the panthers

[brave bolt]

im a connor mcdavid anti so lol

[tepid drum]

I don’t even know who those people are anymore because my team is so bad

[lilac moth]

I actually don’t know how they work together after that

[brave bolt]

tessa and her roommate got engaged!!!

[tepid drum]

https://www.vxtiktok.com/t/ZT6CmYS3k/

[tepid drum]

Hockey

[spring totem]

Tis almost the time

[tepid drum]

Sharks are playing the Knights currently.

I almost forgot. So this is to remind.

[proud iris]

Sounds fake

[spring totem]

oops the caps did play today

I'll try to care again in October

[stark hollow]

YEAH AGAINST THE BRUINS AND THE CAPS WON

[tepid drum]

https://www.vxtiktok.com/t/ZTMAcbHav/

They lost. Water wet.

[brave bolt]

sorry about ned he’s not usually that bad

[tepid drum]

[near tree]

All I can think about is “how absolutely NASTY is that helmet going to be in 82 games”

Also bc the Davy Jones hat was cool

[tepid drum]

I just got used to “Hockey Club”.

[tepid drum]

Will the San Jose Sharks win a game this season?
yes
no

[north mirage]

I don’t go here (I clicked on accident) but I think NO

[tepid drum]

You’re right

[brave bolt]

the answer is yes and it’s tonight 😐

[tepid drum]

They lost to Utah last night by 3.

[brave bolt]

i it’s not that i have faith in the sharks i have faith in my penguins losing a game they should easily win

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/sorry-gif-21552570

[tepid drum]

https://www.vxtiktok.com/t/ZTMaqUMML/

[brave bolt]

i really thought the penguins would pull through for you

[tepid drum]

The Sharks don’t have anyone that scores goals we has discovered

[north mirage]

So was I right or wrong

[brave bolt]

right

[north mirage]

As per

[hidden parrot]

Omg guys my favorite instagram account found two San Jose sharks lol

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQDHEizAR_c/?igsh=MTBzZjZsM292bm9vag==

Instagram

[tepid drum]

lol those two just spawn around like that

They have a do not separate tag

[tepid drum]

She found them again. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTMHWyckW/

[stark hollow]

Excuse me while I BAWL MY EYES OUT

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/faint-call-pass-out-gif-25094550

They finally won

[brave bolt]

good job sharks

[tepid drum]

I was listening on my phone. I was actually shocked.

[brave bolt]

penguins are 6-2 to start the season

and i am 🧍‍♀️

[tepid drum]

https://www.vxtiktok.com/t/ZTMXhKKJR/

Only lost by one last night. Cooking.

[tepid drum]

The babies need to work on goal in the net.

[brave bolt]

41 shots 💀

[tepid drum]

And they lost!!!!

[brave bolt]

sad

[tepid drum]

The Sharks love to have a the lopsided shots on goal because they know it upsets me.

[tepid drum]

No context. This is just a theme now

[tepid drum]

It seems I have to pay attention to the sharks for them to behave.

[tepid drum]

I am afraid to look at the sharks too closely, I listen to the games on radio.

What if I scare them

[near tree]

My fam goes to a hockey game the day after American Thanksgiving. This year, we went to a local WHL game & it was a stunning game. Double the SOG, and a 7-2 final score.
I just wish I knew how many penalty minutes both teams got bc it must have been a significant amount with how many fights broke out

[tepid drum]

https://youtu.be/OHkOGw9gFXM?si=Y2MzgwG1EldJDpTo

[tepid drum]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTrxowmdw/

[tepid drum]

Just learned Heated Rivalry is creating San Jose Sharks fans and I am so sorry to them oh my god.

Why are you in my house.

[brave bolt]

those two children got them

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/schmidt-typical-new-girl-gif-18731882

https://tenor.com/view/welcome-to-hell-tales-from-the-hood-2-keith-david-sklarlight-gif-3564358203074485839

[tepid drum]

Their initials for the score bug are NAS and CAR. HMMMMMMMMM.

[tepid drum]

Why was this the first photo I saw

[tepid drum]

A stuffed Zamboni give away? Why does the universe mock me.

[brave bolt]

stopppp they’re so cute

[tepid drum]

Hello

This is after New Jersey lost by 9 earlier this week.

[worn latch]

I had to turn on the Bake Off New Year's episode to distract me from my impending crashout. This was not a nice night to be a Rangers fan!

[graceful sphinx]

Thanks to Heated Rivalry I’ve started to get insta ads for actual hockey. Didn’t even know the uk had an ice hockey league 💀

[tepid drum]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZThkuUfSb/

Was this a 10 minute major for everyone on the ice or what

(Women’s hockey league)

[tepid drum]

Yes it was a 10 minute major, even a 20 minute major.

[spring totem]

I WAS THERE IT WAS SO FUN

actively plotting a trip to Newark to catch a sirens game bc it's been less than 24 hours and they haven't given dc our own team yet how dare they

also it's what the fans deserve lol there were so many body checks during the game that did not result in brawls and we wanted fights pls

[tepid drum]

I heard they’re overly strict against fighting in PWHL when they need to let it go

[spring totem]

I really did not know anything about PWHL when I showed up but the vibes were great

so hopefully they learn to let that go

[slate crown]

I happened to watch this game because it appeared on YouTube as a recommendation (I’ve seen like 1.5 hockey games in my life, admittedly one in person) and I was amused. Also by the fact that they made them take a group photo after this

[spring totem]

Yes!! PWHL games are streamed for free on YouTube so it's v accessible

[near tree]

Whattttt
This is excellent news

[tepid drum]

Taylor Girard got a four game suspension.

[tepid drum]

I’m framing it.

[proud iris]

Goalie fight!!!

[tepid drum]

And he didn’t yell at him to come meet in the middle

[sturdy hawk]

Welp ot and shoot out and we lost

[tepid drum]

Got a point at least as the ancient San Jose sharks text goes.

[tepid drum]

SJ Sharkie stealing identities.

[tepid drum]

I love for people to think we were gatekeeping the Sharks only for them to watch them give up 3 to the flames in the 3rd. Experience sharks hockey.

[spring totem]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVP7HUsjv2K/?igsh=MXV5YzV0cXd4eWFpZA== go devils ???

reallyamericanmedia

Kid riding the zamboni at Devils game unfurls Abolish ICE flag and the crowd goes wild with applause

Follow @reallyamericanmedia for more

Likes

146486

Instagram

[brave bolt]

go devils fans

go devils would include jack hughes so

[spring totem]

VALID

i shall keep on with go sirens

[tepid drum]

I saw a tweet about the sirens I need to find it

[slate crown]

Oh

[proud iris]

Same

[spring totem]

same though

then I showed up for a game and people randomly yelling wee woo was so much fun

[slate crown]

I was a bit like ‘this doesn’t exactly fit the vibes of the other names and is kinda not the direction I’d have gone in for a women’s league’ but it never occurred to me once that they meant like…wee woo sirens

[tepid drum]

Also dont they use lady liberty green?

Looks mermaid to me

[spring totem]

It's giving mermaid for sure but yes they were going for lady liberty

[stark hollow]

There was a point where the names were leaked but no association with cities. We thought Sirens were going to be in Boston

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/im-rich-smile-get-in-the-car-gif-16895194

[stark hollow]

https://youtu.be/no8to8VVNDk This is too cute

[stark hollow]

Oh man wait until TD Garden for the Fleet.

[tepid drum]

Can’t believe no one else had tried that

[tepid drum]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh7t8qNo/

[tepid drum]

https://x.com/sanjosesharks/status/2029747544947843459?s=46&t=hQzDunEJ-24RYKJr84ixkw

San Jose Sharks (@SanJoseSharks)

Tomorrow, @HarpPandher and @TaqdeerThindal will be calling the Sharks game against St. Louis in Punjabi for our South Asian Culture Celebration game.

🎙️ Fans can listen in the Sharks + SAP Center app or at https://t.co/ikmofPgULy.

▶ Play video

X · Mar 6, 2026, 2:35 AM

[tepid drum]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZThvyEtXs/

[sturdy hawk]

My son everyone... the most beautiful ballerina there ever was! SUCK IT CHAMALAMADINGDONG

Sorry Elbee I am not yelling at you

[tepid drum]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZThTdSFfs/ how did he do that

[weak lintel]

sens score game winner with 11 seconds left: that’s good
it was upchuck: that’s bad

[weak lintel]

some interesting results in the east playoff race today

[tepid drum]

My team embarrassed themselves more than the pacific division has already been doing this.

[weak lintel]

Mine are somehow now in a playoff spot!

step 1: debut two guys in the defense
step 2: one of them player of the game
step 3: ?????

[tepid drum]

Mine was but only because the division is bad

[weak lintel]

just pacific things

[tepid drum]

I remember when they used to be good.

Whole division ass

[weak lintel]

ducks are tied with Vancouver now

jesus

[tepid drum]

I think everyone should stay home

[brave bolt]

who do you support. please know this will determine our relationship moving forward

[weak lintel]

Sens, I used to live there

[brave bolt]

actually makes me angry the pens would be cruising to the playoffs rn in the pacific division

[tepid drum]

Now now we can talk to people of all fandoms except Vegas

I’m sorry you have Brady

[brave bolt]

ok sharks fan

[tepid drum]

He escaped Florida

[weak lintel]

Me too

[brave bolt]

some of you can

[tepid drum]

I hate them

They now what they did

[brave bolt]

me tho

[weak lintel]

See above

[tepid drum]

My original opp was Anaheim.

[weak lintel]

sharks are my western conference team so

[tepid drum]

Everyone was like oh the Anaheim ducks movie wah wah childhood and I’m like I want them to lose

[brave bolt]

sorry sydney you’re fine but you have brady and claude giroux so i legally cannot support this

[tepid drum]

Just show Laura pictures of Sidney Crosby

It works 99 percent of the time

[brave bolt]

sidney crosby told me i had to hate giroux so i do

[tepid drum]

I knew it

[brave bolt]

and will forever

[tepid drum]

Me and Corey Perry

[weak lintel]

I have zero hate for the pens if that helps

[tepid drum]

I forget eastern conference teams exist most of the time, so I don’t have feelings for them.

[brave bolt]

it doesn’t but i appreciate that you’re not a flyers fan so

[tepid drum]

No gritty

[brave bolt]

😐

[tepid drum]

They play when I’m at work!

I feel the same way about the AL East

[weak lintel]

I picked my local team back in 2018 and stuck with them

[tepid drum]

I’ve been subjected by the Sharks for 15 years now.

Some of my greatest twitter hits were their doing.

[brave bolt]

that’s fair i was assigned mine at birth and continued on

[weak lintel]

nobody can accuse me of bandwagoning

also one of our (only fit) defenders was born in Sydney which is a nice coincidence

[weak lintel]

tbf all the nhl teams also play when I’m at work

east coast games tend to start at 10am here and west coast at 1pm

[proud iris]

Oh that’s convenient

Put it on the background 😂

[weak lintel]

or secretly through headphones at work yes

[brave bolt]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkRGFE9c/

cries in metro division

[tepid drum]

Lia, Tampa… really?

[ashen rapids]

I was out today and saw a "Quinnesota" billboard which the red light wasn't long enough for me to get a picture of. You can't hitch us to this traumatized Victorian orphan. You're trying to pawn the ghosts off on the state and it won't work!!

[weak lintel]

gg @brave bolt

[brave bolt]

i was pacing most of the game

gg that was stressful

[weak lintel]

yeah my work is not gonna be happy with the amount of work I got done for the past 3 hours

oh well

at least we got a point

[weak lintel]

penguins @ islanders: 🖕

[brave bolt]

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

one for each goal

[weak lintel]

I watched the first period then had a meeting for the second

switched it back on and was like tf

since when

[brave bolt]

they went off

[weak lintel]

truly

celebrini’s doing the same rn too

[tepid drum]

He imprinted on Crosby I can’t explain it

[weak lintel]

understandable

[weak lintel]

lmao canucks v avs

[brave bolt]

no team that affects the pens played tonight so i got to pretend hockey didn’t exist today

[weak lintel]

it’s fun not being stressed

[brave bolt]

i had a bunch of things to get done today so it was very helpful

[tepid drum]

Have I ever mentioned how much I don’t like Anaheim

HA

The empty net worked, damn.

[brave bolt]

just once or twice

[tepid drum]

Oh my god

Ahahahahahahahahahahah

I love this song

A minute and 7 seconds between goals in the last minute 30 of the game

[brave bolt]

https://tenor.com/view/ok-nice-grafic-gif-13206845596055018221

[weak lintel]

Mack’s a cheat code

[tepid drum]

I watched some really bad hockey for that 1-1 pick

[weak lintel]

https://fixupx.com/cecidrais/status/2039851800703234086

cecidrai (@cecidrais)

New pride flag just dropped

Quoting cecidrai (@cecidrais)
︀
Brady Tkachuk getting his ass beat on pride night is a win for everyone

**💬 6 🔁 449 ❤️ 3.4K 👁️ 39.6K **

FixupX · Apr 2, 2026, 11:45 PM

[tepid drum]

Seal clapped for the lunar orbiter going towards the moon, now this. What a day for me.

https://tenor.com/view/seal-clapping-property-of-mello-gif-17743612165590356299

[weak lintel]

Sens ended up winning

but upchuck was barely involved

https://www.uuinstagram.com/p/DWpaeHyAQbU/

heaps of guys ended up wearing pride tape too which was a nice surprise, I counted 9 of them at least in photos/videos

like obviously bare minimum but still

[weak lintel]

@brave bolt did you see Crosby absolutely laying mupchuck out lmao

[brave bolt]

of course i did

[tepid drum]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkBY7qBY/ Hockey Canada Forward at the 2038 winter games

[weak lintel]

someone on my train home was in a canucks hat which is both unusual (in Australia) and bold

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/fake-smile-okaaay-then-awkward-smile-awkward-gif-18074261

[weak lintel]

https://fixupx.com/puckempire/status/2042460107158548527

PuckEmpire (@puckempire)

GET TO SOAKING 💦
︀︀
︀︀The Utah Mammoth have clinched a playoff spot for the FIRST TIME in their FRANCHISE HISTORY.
︀︀
︀︀Can they go all the way?

**💬 120 🔁 102 ❤️ 2.6K 👁️ 1.12M **

FixupX · Apr 10, 2026, 4:30 AM

“Get to soaking” is diabolical

[tepid drum]

Damn

[near tree]

+kraken

[stark hollow]

Women's hockey

[weak lintel]

PLAYOFFS BOUND

[stark hollow]

Some fucking bullshit from the refs today at the fleet game

Anyway bruins clinched playoffs

[tepid drum]

My team is technically not eliminated yet but the day is young.

Oh no it’s the Canucks

[near tree]

We were eliminated during the game bc the Kings won 🙁

Even though we FINALLY won a game

[tepid drum]

The damn kings. Terrible when Zac Brown is happy.

[stark hollow]

Oh the Boston Fleet sold out TD Garden today. so that was a fun time

[tepid drum]

lol

[tepid drum]

He was going through things all day.

[tepid drum]

First time beating Nashville since 2019 AT WHAT COST THE DUCKS MAKING THE PLAYOFFS?

MONKEY PAW.

It was a 15 game losing streak.

[weak lintel]

And the kings

[tepid drum]

I’m going to be sick

[weak lintel]

one of them gets to get minced by Colorado

[tepid drum]

I wish it was both

[slate crown]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGdHeKqch/

I agree with her (I have no idea who the guy is)

[near tree]

To BOB?!?!
She said that to BOB????

I’m like 80% sure that’s sergei bobrovsky

[tepid drum]

Her:

[near tree]

If it was this game - honestly fair comment

[weak lintel]

It was that game

[weak lintel]

It was

[weak lintel]

Celebrini with his 3rd point tonight now holds the outright season points record for a shark (115)

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/my-baby-proud-gif-7506860

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/big-hero6-baymax-there-there-there-youll-be-okay-gif-8331534610914719114

[proud iris]

I love that it just calls them teenagers

Which like, they are, for this stat, but something about it makes it feel sillier

[weak lintel]

they played teenage dirtbag when he got the record which was very funny from Winnipeg

[tepid drum]

Win the cup for Daisy.

[tepid drum]

There was multiple fan ejections and a fight in the parking lot before the game. Does gritty have an alibi?

[weak lintel]

depression

[brave bolt]

yeah welcome to the club

atleast you didn’t watch yours in person

[weak lintel]

no i had to watch mine while working

or like, listen i guess for most of it

[stark hollow]

The Florence and the Machine cleansed TD Garden. here is to the positive energy to the Bruins

[weak lintel]

Montreal and Tampa might actually just murder each other before this series is out

[tepid drum]

Ah well

[weak lintel]

god I wish san jose made it, they’d maybe get annihilated by the avs in 4 but at least it’d be entertaining

LA are so boring

[tepid drum]

Sharks are really good at dramatically dying in the playoffs. Making a good show. Like being up 3 games and losing. 4 in a row in a seven game series.

[sturdy hawk]

Welp we cant win em all its better than the Panthers at least

[sturdy hawk]

There were 2 fans in Dallas dressed as ghosts and the sign said "hughes ghost gone wild" 😭

[tepid drum]

I wanted to make a baseball version of that one but for the strike zone last night

[sturdy hawk]

Girl send this to the penguins (sorry Laur ily)

Tbf they did get a couple last night

[tepid drum]

Gritty

[weak lintel]

There’s many offenders rn

[brave bolt]

what’s hockey i’ve never heard of her

[weak lintel]

same

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/san-jose-sharks-sj-sharkie-atv-four-wheeler-spinning-gif-26556367

Have they tried ATV

[weak lintel]

oh @tepid drum I’ve gotten one of my friends into hockey for playoffs and she tried not to pick the sharks but

she’s picked the sharks

[brave bolt]

i’m sorry i fear i am now banning people from picking the sharks

if you are a new fan they’re off limits

[weak lintel]

she needed a west coast team and they called to her

she was like I need a Daniel Ricciardo type energy

the only other one I could think of is Devin Cooley on the Flames

[tepid drum]

🧍‍♀️

[weak lintel]

she didn’t wanna bandwagon

the whimsy came for her

[tepid drum]

I think that’s just SJ Sharkie

He was born out of a Zamboni

[weak lintel]

I should show her sharkie

[weak lintel]

Unnamed Vegas Goalkeeper having an all time stinker. Good.

[brave bolt]

we didn’t get swept

a win is a win

[weak lintel]

sens sweep means the charge get to play at the CTC, win is a win

also upchuck playing so shit means we might ditch the fuckwad

[weak lintel]

that bounce lmao

[weak lintel]

pens: I ain’t dead yet

[brave bolt]

i will be soon

when they give me a heart attack

[weak lintel]

Sid’s locked back in

he’s gonna nuke philly with the power of spite alone

I blinked and Utah scored twice

[tepid drum]

Proud of the not Desert Dogs

[weak lintel]

UATH

[weak lintel]

fucking vegas

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/anakin-skywalker-i-hate-them-star-wars-no-nope-gif-12872946

[weak lintel]

the last thing philly sees

[tepid drum]

It’s @brave bolt looking at Daisy ignore her

[brave bolt]

no that was daisy looking at me while i paced and yelled last night stressing her out

she’s not a fan of playoff hockey

[tepid drum]

Disturbing her peace and for what

[weak lintel]

they stopped going there!

[stark hollow]

STILL IN IT TO WIN IT BAAAAYYBBEEEE

[weak lintel]

https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/1syi6yi/the_mic_kept_cutting_out_during_the_singing_of_o/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

[weak lintel]

rip pens

[brave bolt]

i’m doing great

[weak lintel]

yeah i know the feel

[weak lintel]

seres

[proud iris]

My sister sent me that

I asked her when the last series win was and she was like 2015, it said so, and I said no, that was your last seres win, when was your last series win

She didn't have an answer, she's a fake Wild fan I guess

[brave bolt]

how did she end up a wild fan

[proud iris]

I don't remember!

She's a very devoted fan, I have heard a lot this season about their love of going to overtime

She's all mixed up, she's a Wild fan but also an Orioles fan (much less invested); she got that one from our father though

[brave bolt]

ok well that one atleast makes sense i’m trying to understand where she got minnesota from

[near tree]

I forgot how orange Anaheim’s orange jerseys are 🫣

I kinda wish they were able to play the oilers when the oilers are in the blue jerseys
But noooooo too much color on the ice or something

[proud iris]

She said: "Because I love Marc-Andre Fleury and he was a Wild before he retired and I fell in love with the rest of the team."

[brave bolt]

oh ok she’s so real for that. as a fellow marc andre fleury lover

but i just spent my entire childhood with him

so that’s where my love came from

[near tree]

Very fair to your sister

[brave bolt]

i didn’t need to pick the wild

[proud iris]

You were already stuck with a hometown team though

[brave bolt]

yes thankfully my hometown team gave me 3 cups in my life so far

some people have it rough

[weak lintel]

hi

[weak lintel]

Jesus Christ Edmonton

[weak lintel]

stankoven is going off

[brave bolt]

pulled up a picture of stormy to show my mother and i really appreciate that this is the first photo that shows up

[weak lintel]

I’m not sure what exactly stormy is

[brave bolt]

a pig!

north carolina is big in agriculture

[weak lintel]

30-50 feral hogs maybe

[brave bolt]

so that’s where that came from

[weak lintel]

you can also use post 2020 election gritty

[weak lintel]

il y’avait une panne de courant à Tampa

AU REVOIR

[near tree]

The Wild-Avs game has been nuts to watch

I love this sport

[weak lintel]

Colorado with the same number of goals as Montreal got shots

[weak lintel]

Draft lottery rigged

fucking Toronto

[tepid drum]

[brave bolt]

could be worse. could’ve been florida

[weak lintel]

San Jose pick 2

with the steel chair

[brave bolt]

cale makar has a tough hairline for 27

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/celebrate-excited-gif-5615373

Live elbee reaction

I suffered ok

Mike is frozen

Wake up Mike

Canucks fans are upset.

I took this photo while my friend drove into Vancouver once. So close to the highway.

[stark hollow]

BRUINS FANS ARE RIOTING

[weak lintel]

as they should

[tepid drum]

What happened

I forget things in the eastern conference

[weak lintel]

Toronto traded their first rounder to Boston, but it was protected- if it fell top 5 they keep it. If we went just on ladder positions they’d have had pick 6 (and given it to Boston) but instead they keep their pick and it’s pick 1

so not only do bruins fans miss a potential high pick from Toronto in a rare low year, but there’s a likelihood Toronto bounce back with the talent of McKenna (likely pick 1) meaning that the eventual pick they get in 2028 instead could be in like, the low teens or 20s

[tepid drum]

[weak lintel]

slight correction they were 5th last but still, the likelihood of them getting pick 1…

[stark hollow]

Im not saying that the Leafs are going to be cursed but they are going to be cursed to not get the cup for another 10 years

[tepid drum]

I thought they already were

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTknfC2ey/ climbing down from the rafters to haunt Mike greer for a defense man

[stark hollow]

nononono its additional 10 years to their already cursed 10 years

[tepid drum]

Oooooh right right.

[stark hollow]

https://tenor.com/view/monkeys-paw-paw-monkey-gif-17535679

[weak lintel]

a series:

[weak lintel]

okay there ditto

[tepid drum]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTk7BcUHn/

[slate crown]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGdHPAbbo/

[tepid drum]

No Hart Trophy for CELEBRINI (auto capitalized for SOME REASON)

https://tenor.com/view/fight-fight-me-angry-get-out-gif-4902016621984269311

[near tree]

I have seen three perfume ads during the Ducks/GK game so far.
I’m choosing to believe this is bc hockey gear is stinky and not bc marketing says it’s a good time to run dancing butterfly ads

[near tree]

Ok nope these are local ads.

Still confused who in marketing said perfume ads are what they should show

[weak lintel]

https://stupidpenisx.com/TSN_Sports/status/2052926227267084531

TSN (@TSN_Sports)

THE CHARGE TAKE A 2-1 SERIES LEAD 🚨

#PWHL

▶ Play video

vxTwitter / fixvx · May 9, 2026, 1:38 AM

ignore the url link

[tepid drum]

They keep taunting me with the prospect of a team. I

[brave bolt]

shame on espn for having the fuckass savanah bananas as an option for sports scores on their app but not the pwhl

[weak lintel]

love ully and amadio turning up too

[weak lintel]

🧹

[brave bolt]

goodbye flyers you won’t be missed

[tepid drum]

Hurricanes make me feel nothing

[weak lintel]

I wanted the sweep bc it’s less brutal for us

like, yeah we got swept but they did the same thing to the flyers so

[brave bolt]

yes but the flyers make me feel horrible things so

[weak lintel]

https://fxtwitter.com/i/status/2053287983667724489

Carolina Hurricanes (@Canes)

Have a safe flight 👋

**💬 22 🔁 84 ❤️ 536 👁️ 5.0K **

FxTwitter · May 10, 2026, 1:36 AM

[weak lintel]

https://fixupx.com/i/status/2053288389609148463

Stormy (@StormyCanes)

Who’s your daddy?

**💬 51 🔁 336 ❤️ 2.8K 👁️ 58.2K **

FixupX · May 10, 2026, 1:37 AM

[tepid drum]

This should be enough to give him the team C but what do I KNOW

[weak lintel]

Charge make the PWHL final 🥰

[tepid drum]

I tried to pledge seattle my loyalty in the PWHL but seattle is just a little bit far away or they remind me about the Seahawks.

If they do expand to San Jose, they must become the Hammerheads.

A councilwoman named Susan Hammer is the reason why the Sharks exist.

[proud iris]

What a great name

[tepid drum]

The babies are called Barracuda, we need to keep on theme ok

[proud iris]

Oh I love that

[weak lintel]

I’ve heard riptide for the SJ women’s team

but also the thought of distance being a factor for you is sending me considering I’m all the way in Australia

[tepid drum]

It’s more of the Seahawks thing

Too close to them.

[weak lintel]

there’s an Aussie on the Seahawks so most of us are fond of them

actually last two Super Bowl champions have had an Aussie

secret to success

[tepid drum]

I have no feelings on the kraken because they’ve only existed when my team is bad

[weak lintel]

pov you are shooting at net for buffalo

[weak lintel]

MONTREAL V OTTAWA FOR THE PWHL FINAL

[tepid drum]

Vegas got the PWHL expansion team.

It’s a choice.

[stark hollow]

Ew

[tepid drum]

They didn’t even do a take over there

[brave bolt]

hm i guess they really don’t want my business

like if they put a team in pittsburgh season tickets would be in consideration for me

[weak lintel]

Minnesota pull a Minnesota

[weak lintel]

chatting to my hairdresser and mentioned that I’d been watching playoffs, and he was like ohhh I’ve gotten really into hockey too this year

and we gave each other a Look

And I went, wait who’s your team, waited a moment and then said is it San Jose

to which he lost it laughing bc yes yes it was

so the whole appointment was great vibes

[sturdy hawk]

No i am setting you free for this one

[tepid drum]

Uhoh

[weak lintel]

team too endearing

[weak lintel]

https://fixupx.com/i/status/2054896113996509514

TSN (@TSN_Sports)

The Edmonton Oilers have relieved Kris Knoblauch of his coaching duties, per Ryan Rishaug.

**💬 83 🔁 161 ❤️ 1.0K 👁️ 97.8K **

FixupX · May 14, 2026, 12:06 PM

[near tree]

This is old but i still love it

[spring totem]

omg I never thought about PWHL not being PWHL in Montreal but it makes sense that it's LPHF

[weak lintel]

@tepid drum © elebrini

[tepid drum]

I bet he was frozen in fear

[weak lintel]

“player led discussion” we asked Sid and he said no

[brave bolt]

sid should have said yes fuck them kids

[tepid drum]

https://media.nhl.com/public/news/19822

The league killed them.

NEW YORK (May 15, 2026) – The National Hockey League announced today that, as a result of flagrant violations of the 2026 Stanley Cup Playoffs Media Regulations following Game 6 of their Second Round series against the Anaheim Ducks on Thursday, May 14, the Vegas Golden Knights will forfeit a second-round pick in the 2026 Upper Deck NHL Draft. In addition, Golden Knights head coach John Tortorella has been fined $100,000.

Apparently they were warned

I don’t know why they need to be in the locker room

[weak lintel]

media being in the rooms is so normal to me

Like if I think about it longer yeah I guess that’s weird for the players but it’s just so normal for me to see

they host the post game coverage from the winning team’s rooms, which was interesting a few weeks ago when we had a draw

[tepid drum]

I never seen them lose a draft pick to it

Must have been a big problem

[weak lintel]

Yeah I think probably a recurring thing

[tepid drum]

I’m hearing tuesday for news

[weak lintel]

Oh no! Anyway.

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/thierry-henry-laugh-holding-it-in-stifled-embarrased-gif-9123601

[tepid drum]

A whole production

[weak lintel]

yep! It’s actually a weird feeling for me to see so little from the rooms watching hockey

[tepid drum]

Yeah it’s mostly just print reporters with their recorders

[weak lintel]

it feels a little bit on the nose that there’s a few things hockey hides behind closed doors compared to other sports

the concept of “upper body injury” or “lower body injury” being the only real info is wild to me as well

[tepid drum]

Lower body injury and their foot fell off.

Baseball is like they broke the 5th metatarsal and ruptured this tendon, this doctor in Los Angeles fixed it on THIS DATE.

[stark hollow]

Oh shit tuesday? So are we actually get 12 teams so we can GET A TV DEAL PLEASE GOD.

[tepid drum]

It was a planned four team expansion.

Might have been the plan.

[weak lintel]

footy’s a bit in between but usually you’ll get like, hamstring 3-4 weeks

https://www.afl.com.au/matches/injury-list?app_referral_name=AFL Live&app_referral_version=11.12.1

one team right now has so many injuries they’ve had to name an injured player as one of their reserves

and they were already last in the comp last year, like if the canucks lost their entire first choice roster

[tepid drum]

That takes a lot of work to do.

[weak lintel]

can’t be too mad at them, they won three premierships in the last decade so

[near tree]

Ngl I think the part of hockey where you get the end of season injury reports and just go “jfc the guy played through that???” Is wild but also kind of interesting

Like when post-2011 bruins win we got the pictures of the guys laying on the plane floor bc they needed air compression on their legs (I think it was bergy and the starter goalie? Tim? Tom? It’s been a long time)

Or the list from the stars/bruins/flyers this year

[stark hollow]

Tim Tommas or Tuuka Raask.

Oh yeah it is Tim

[near tree]

Thomas. Thank youuu

Tim Tom 😂

I was so close

I knew it wasn’t Rask

[weak lintel]

Apparently gauthier was playing through two broken vertebrae?

like bro I respect the commitment to fucking up vegas but dude have a rest

[weak lintel]

why do these games never start at the time they’re advertised to

[tepid drum]

Playoffs are lawless

[weak lintel]

not even reg season

i, sitting on my couch, have the same save percentage as alex lyon

fuck

[weak lintel]

https://fixupx.com/i/status/2056057906206749025

lukey (@newjerseynico)

God if Brady could read he would be LIVID

Quoting Ottawa Senators (@Senators)
︀
Today on International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia, and every day, we stand for love and against discrimination. We continue to strive to make our game an inclusive space for all to ensure that hockey is for everyone! 🏳️‍🌈
︀︀
︀︀#IDAHOBIT

**💬 7 🔁 289 ❤️ 4.4K 👁️ 63.7K **

FixupX · May 17, 2026, 5:02 PM

[weak lintel]

MONTREAL IN OT

[maiden pivot]

yoooooo Detroit gets a PWHL team let's gooooo

also league expanding to TWELVE teams! Blown away by the growth, everyone loves the girl aquarium

[tepid drum]

I now have a team to swear a blood oath to

[spring totem]

cries in jealousy

[tepid drum]

And the color is ORANGE WOOOOOO

(And blue I’m ignoring that)

Too much blue and teal in the league. We need purple now.

Vegas color is giving house flipper. I’m sorry someone fix that.

They’re going to share SAP center and will not be shunned to the Cow Palace.

(This is a real name of a place they have rodeos there but also small hockey rink)

[brave bolt]

yeah same

the players here keep advocating for a team but alas

[tepid drum]

Threaten them

[spring totem]

so happy for Detroit and Hamilton but Toronto already has a team and is RIGHT THERE

[tepid drum]

Yeah I don’t know how Hamilton happened.

Like they wanted a Canadian team?

I was hearing screams/wails from Alberta.

[brave bolt]

https://x.com/loserhollanov/status/2056746494284222549?s=46

zx - alice (@loserhollanov)

X · May 19, 2026, 2:39 PM

[maiden pivot]

Toronto is RIGHT THERE

[tepid drum]

They’re saying it’s 68 kilometers.

[maiden pivot]

People are saying, grown men, tears in their eyes, "Sir," they tell me, "Sir, can it be true? They gave Hamilton a team?" Hamilton? Hamilton, you ever heard of such a place? They say Pittsburgh, they say we want a team, they're saying Milwaukee, great city, Chicago even, a town I don't personally like very much but they want a team, and they're saying instead no, Hamilton. 68 kilometers, I don't know the hell that is miles, but 68 kilometers, like we've never seen before

[brave bolt]

i’m crying

[tepid drum]

Im in a meeting trying to not lose it

[brave bolt]

i’m so glad i saw that before i go into my meeting

[sturdy hawk]

Hmmmmmmm I WoNdEr wHy????

#freemitchy

[weak lintel]

https://www.instagram.com/p/DYnTuGgmjaE/

Brave from haas here

[near tree]

3 goals in 5 mins????

[weak lintel]

yeah

and now 4

FIVE

[tepid drum]

Disband the Avalanche

Sent them to the minors

[brave bolt]

this is horrendous

vibes are so bad

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/stinky-i-think-you-should-leave-with-tim-robinson-it-smells-bad-it-stinks-eww-gif-16170064380484795710

Who is the other team in the finals

[brave bolt]

carolina or montreal

[tepid drum]

God damn it

There goes my week

[weak lintel]

Utah had them on the fucking ropes, we could have had them gone round 1

[weak lintel]

klingberg I’m feeling fond of you rn

[brave bolt]

ON HIS BIRTHDAY

[weak lintel]

on his damn birthday

also he’s 25 so I don’t feel weird about being incredibly fond of him

[sturdy hawk]

Ticket prices for the SCF are INSANE

I looked yesterday and the very back row of the very top levels is 1000+ dollars per seat!!?? like come on I know its the Stanley cup but everyone calls carolina boring to watch (they aren't btw i find them quite fun) and everyone except for Vegas hates Vegas so why are we charging a whole half a body to get in the door?

[stark hollow]

Hockey can be wholesome sometimes.

[sturdy hawk]

Hockey can be wholesome a lot of times

[maiden pivot]

The men must choose wholesomeness

[weak lintel]

https://fixupx.com/aihl/status/2061626222938116164

AIHL (@AIHL)

ESPN to televise live AIHL games for remainder of 2026 season
︀︀
︀︀Full Announcement: tinyurl.com/9rpxx4rh

**🔁 6 ❤️ 32 👁️ 1.7K **

FixupX · Jun 2, 2026, 1:49 AM

[proud iris]

TIL the AIHL is a thing that exists 😂

[weak lintel]

I’ve even skated on one of their competitive rinks!

[tepid drum]

Hockey is over

[near tree]

UGHHHHH

[tepid drum]

Hmm.

[weak lintel]

evil defeated

[near tree]

i am not a canes fan EXCEPT AGAINST VEGAS

I am happy tonight

[weak lintel]

Jarvis getting the goal was nice

[weak lintel]

Everyone boo Detroit

[maiden pivot]

NEVER

[weak lintel]

she’s a transphobic nutjob

and is renowned for being suspended for hitting other players in the head

[maiden pivot]

Oh

BOOOOOOOOO

[weak lintel]

yeah. Detroit fans were delighted bc the rest of the signings were powerful and then this

as in, they’re not delighted now

nobody wanted her

[maiden pivot]

This stinks. I was so excited when we got a team, this takes some fun out of it

[weak lintel]

Yeah it’s fucked up for all those fans, I know a few are switching over to Hamilton

who got the Ottawa captain in their expansion and she’s great

as much as I’m crying abt it

[weak lintel]

Meanwhile in the AIHL

[tepid drum]

Copper theft strikes again

[weak lintel]

just Newcastle things

[stark hollow]

I JUST GOT A MÜLLER AND NOW SHE GOES TO HAMILTON

[near tree]

||Carter Hart|| 🤢🤮 dropped the ball hard 🎉🎉

[weak lintel]

should be worse

[near tree]

Idk what they said during that intermission
But dangggg. Do it again

But this is a pretty cool stat for Marner

BUT EVEN BETTER THAT THE CANES GOT 3 GOALS IN THIRTY SOMETHING SECONDS

[weak lintel]

ew get that off my screen

[tepid drum]

https://tenor.com/view/so-anyway-anyhow-attitude-eyebrow-raised-nicole-polizzi-gif-14712603

[near tree]

Tied! To OT we go

I will say that the r/hockey discord is absolutely hilarious tonight bc everyone is coming together

[weak lintel]

Heaps of people shitting on vegas fans who are mad abt gi

[tepid drum]

Theres so many other things

[weak lintel]

oh no they’re using the other things as part of it

[tepid drum]

Just remembered I can watch this game because I have YouTubeTV now

That was too close

Who lost their stick

Anytime I hear Hertl I die inside

It’s still upsetting.

[near tree]

I sadly am only getting EPSN updates and via the r/hockey discord reaction feed bc I am not home

[weak lintel]

fuck