#Venting Journal

22 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

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I’m sorry if that is too much

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Venting Journal

dreamy anvil
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Sure and try not to worry about disappointing your therapist sorry if this sounds means it's is her job to listen to what you have to say and try to help you out she can't do that if you don't say anything and it's not mean to reject your just not interested in relationships yet so it's fine to say so and don't hurt your self if people who love you find out about it they will be really hurt 🤕 so don't do that and it's not a lot no need to be sorry it's okay

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dreamy anvil
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I feel like I needa say smth but the words aren’t coming out and idk how to feel and I rlly prolly am gonna reject the guy but I don’t know how and I don’t know but my mom is making me go visit my sister who lives in a different country and I don’t wanna go bc I was bullied at the last school and when I say bullied like they took my stuff, mocked how I ran, were rlly racist to me ect so I don’t wanna go back but my mom won’t listen and I’m missing most my 8th grade graduation because of it and I’m genuinely gonna cry because that’s the only thing I wanted to be here for so I could celebrate with friends but also turns out I’m gonna miss most of that and genuinely I hate it in the other country and they live in an apartment and my mom is gonna make me sleep on the couch which I wouldn’t mind if they didn’t wake up at 4 to come out and make as much noise as possible so idk if this is rlly a vent but i kinda wanna get this off my chest ig

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The thing is I don’t think it is the fact I don’t like him I think I like him but at times I feel repulsed by him and idk why like rn I feel like he is hot and I rlly wanna hang out with him but like yesterday I wanted to like die at the thought of him and idk why that is like he legit is so sweet and his voice is so cute but I can’t control my emotions and I genuinely feel disgusting I wanna die and js stop all confusing romantic conflicts but I’m too scared to actually take my life but I feel like I should no matter what

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I’m gonna end it if my feelings don’t get in check istg.

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Right now I’m thinking about him and I wanna throw up he deserves better but I genuinely don’t think I can even like him wtf my stomach hurts thinking about him and I’m gonna cry

dreamy anvil
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Do you feel disgusted or have feel that way about him suddenly from time to time because you think he deserves better or it's some kind of feeling you get and has nothing to do with that ?

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I kinda feel like I’m mostly disgusted with myself bc I feel like i will never be good enough and also the fact that I’m not disgusted with the fact I like him mostly like confused why and I don’t want to have feelings for him

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I’ve been thinking and life feels weird cuz like if we didn’t have any of our senses then we wouldn’t know anything so what if we just make everything up. What if none of this is real and we are all in our head. What if have developed to the point we can manifest pain but none of this is real

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I feel like life is fake and Ts is weird

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He’s rlly nice and I feel so bad bc I don’t know if I like him or if I only just like him as a friend and I can’t reject him since he does like me and it would hurt him and he deserves a lot so I’ll like try and make him happy bc I don’t care abt myself much but I js want him to be happy

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My bf told be to kms

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I think he was joking but it still kinda hurt

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I got my hair dyed to

dreamy anvil
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Heyy how is it going now and if you felt hurt by his joke you should tell him it's not a nice thing to tell someone KMS

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So he's your boyfriend now and not friend ?

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I think he was joking but like idk

dreamy anvil