#price's journal

27 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

rigid gazelle
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It's 3am, I've been here spiraling for hours

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I feel like these are good moments to learn more about yourself

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Like why am i spiraling right now

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Too much backstory to write out

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Anyways, i got to thinking about a friend I had to let go of several months back

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I don't feel like I've processed it properly

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I miss the connection i had with her

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We were like peanut butter and jelly

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Except we didn't work together, i had to let go because there was a lot of toxicity in the friendship

rigid gazelle
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She has a whole section she's built in my mind just for her and all our memories and it's just sitting there like a room I feel too uncomfortable to go in now

rigid gazelle
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Eventually I'll forget most of her, if not all of her

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I wonder if I was the one in the wrong

rigid gazelle
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It's bigger than that

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I'm spiraling because i don't know if I'm capable of sustaining healthy relationships

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I have a lot of envy and jealousy inside me

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I once tried to have an online relationship with someone in discord

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A couple years back

rigid gazelle
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Maybe, a healthy relationship is the byproduct of a healthy life

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And if I get into an unhealthy relationship it is my responsibility as a healthy person to cut it off

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That's the way to not lose myself in those relationships

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Easier said than done

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Can't even recognize when something's unhealthy for me

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Maybe I'm putting too much thought into like everything, i need to dial it back a few notches

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sometimes ill take an hour to respond to someone cuz im fr trying to craft a perfect response to every message