#lia's journal

67 messages Ā· Page 1 of 1 (latest)

vast rune
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im tired of this

vast rune
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i hate my body

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i hate evrything tbh

vast rune
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I ate something but i feel guilty for eating

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I was thinking abt how i dont sleep well anymore, i just realised i forgot to take magnesium capsules for a few days

vast rune
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MY THROAT HURTS SO BAD:((

vast rune
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i wanna loose weight

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why am i so short

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ah

vast rune
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i hate everything

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i dont wanna eat nor sleep

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I'm not even allowed to go out my house unless its school or im with one of my family member

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wtf

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so unfair

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i got no freedom

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i hate ts

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this is prolly why i feel soo disconnected with the real world

vast rune
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idk why i sometime feel like i got more than enough blood on my bodyy

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maybe i should donate

vast rune
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having vitamin b12 deficiency suckssadness

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ig ill have to get injected again

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it hurts so bad

vast rune
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i feel that weird lump on my throat

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i also feel like I'm not getting enough oxygen šŸ™ƒ

vast rune
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i hate my mom she always twist my words negatively like I'm targeting her bro I just disagreed on a simple thing wtf why can't at least a convo between use go without her starting an argument or shouting at me I'm soo tired of this

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why did she even give birth to me if she was gonna hate her child for anything they do

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i barely play games for like 2 hours a day and she's likeā€ you don't wanna go out with us cuz you won't be able to play your gameā€ blah blah bro you didn't even tell me where we were going until we were gonna leave and it's raining to bro I don't wanna go it's not cuz of game

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fuck her fuck everything

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why am I still alive

vast rune
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I was forced to go, tbh it would have been better if i could have got perimission to stay at home

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they only see my anger but not their actions which cause it

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im tired of everything

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i can't even control my anger anymore

vast rune
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I haven't done sh for a month ig

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I'm getting the urges now..

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My head feels like its gonna explode

vast rune
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I sometimes suspect i have bpd

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My psychiatrist lit changed the topic when i asked her/ told her about it

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i cant wait to turn 18 and get diagnosed with things i think i have or at least ill know its all in my head idk

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ah

vast rune
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I went to a concert today and i think I got one of my biggest purpose to live for Joy

whole gust
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yippi

vast rune
vast rune
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My periods are near and this back pain is gonna kill me

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actually 2 days late to be precise

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My mom can never see me happy

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she always does her best to ruin my mood intentionally wether its right after i wake up or when im asleep or idk like all the time

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words cant explain my hate for her

vast rune
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My mom is the main reason i feel like starving myself

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the last time i ate something was last night around 11 pm , its almost 11 am and i still dont wanna eat anything

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i know i should but i cant

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i wont be able to shallow

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my chest feels tight

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i dont know when will i be out of this hell

vast rune
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i just wanna feel loved by someone even its just one person, is it that hard to love me..

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maybe it is

vast rune
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I ate a roll

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its 1pm but its okay ig

vast rune
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I feel soo stressed rn

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ahhh

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i wish i could just stop it while im doing something imp

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I can't even focus

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I feel sooo sleepyyyyy and i got lots of thing to do

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fuck

crimson hound
vast rune