#lia's journal
67 messages Ā· Page 1 of 1 (latest)
I ate something but i feel guilty for eating
I was thinking abt how i dont sleep well anymore, i just realised i forgot to take magnesium capsules for a few days
MY THROAT HURTS SO BAD:((
i hate everything
i dont wanna eat nor sleep
I'm not even allowed to go out my house unless its school or im with one of my family member
wtf
so unfair
i got no freedom
i hate ts
this is prolly why i feel soo disconnected with the real world
idk why i sometime feel like i got more than enough blood on my bodyy
maybe i should donate
having vitamin b12 deficiency sucks
ig ill have to get injected again
it hurts so bad
i feel that weird lump on my throat
i also feel like I'm not getting enough oxygen š
i hate my mom she always twist my words negatively like I'm targeting her bro I just disagreed on a simple thing wtf why can't at least a convo between use go without her starting an argument or shouting at me I'm soo tired of this
why did she even give birth to me if she was gonna hate her child for anything they do
i barely play games for like 2 hours a day and she's likeā you don't wanna go out with us cuz you won't be able to play your gameā blah blah bro you didn't even tell me where we were going until we were gonna leave and it's raining to bro I don't wanna go it's not cuz of game
fuck her fuck everything
why am I still alive
I was forced to go, tbh it would have been better if i could have got perimission to stay at home
they only see my anger but not their actions which cause it
im tired of everything
i can't even control my anger anymore
I haven't done sh for a month ig
I'm getting the urges now..
My head feels like its gonna explode
I sometimes suspect i have bpd
My psychiatrist lit changed the topic when i asked her/ told her about it
i cant wait to turn 18 and get diagnosed with things i think i have or at least ill know its all in my head idk
ah
I went to a concert today and i think I got one of my biggest purpose to live for 
yippi
My periods are near and this back pain is gonna kill me
actually 2 days late to be precise
My mom can never see me happy
she always does her best to ruin my mood intentionally wether its right after i wake up or when im asleep or idk like all the time
words cant explain my hate for her
My mom is the main reason i feel like starving myself
the last time i ate something was last night around 11 pm , its almost 11 am and i still dont wanna eat anything
i know i should but i cant
i wont be able to shallow
my chest feels tight
i dont know when will i be out of this hell
i just wanna feel loved by someone even its just one person, is it that hard to love me..
maybe it is
I feel soo stressed rn
ahhh
i wish i could just stop it while im doing something imp
I can't even focus
I feel sooo sleepyyyyy and i got lots of thing to do
fuck
Good job
thank you