#vent bc feelings r too much
1 messages ยท Page 8 of 1
hapi
im
not okay again
the horse riding thing is bugging me again
im such a failure
my biggest achievment in the last year was that i did a whole page of math and a whole page of english
thats literally my biggest achievement this year
itf to go clothes shopping
i dont have enough money for anything
i dont have enough motivation for anything
and if i do it just never works out
im too
me
which isnt a good thing
i cry
im not okay
help
as soon as i clciked into horsi game i saw a oni i havent gotten yet
now ive collected every appaloosa
im so close to finsishing them all
should i go to volcano and do treasure chests and hope that a black perch will spawn
its the only perch i need now
i think ill go to royal island and hope the andy and the mammoth donkey i need will spawn
maybe an island unique coat or island unique hair
it scares me when she does stuff for me
like im not doing enough for her
im kind of pissed off now
wdymuanuhTFOTUHAUGTSEDUDAURIAWFC
YDGTSIAN
ICSTBILHAA
YDGTBYH
im starting to cry
i hate this so fucking much
i cant stop crying
itotan
rudttmmfw?
im so fucking jealous
iwtghrttaw
ycaiaiMFD
i wish i could so bad
sonfucking
bad
boy do i love sobbing so hard i cant breathe every night
im going to go insane
i genuinely do drag people down
i want to disappear
i dont have it in me to try
im gonna give up i think
i have no friends
js seeing that made me feel so upset
maggie told me to stop comparing and tell myself god things about me
but i truly dont have any friends and it IS my fault
my hand is shaking so much
i got out of having dinner today๐
im not touching that with a 10 foot pole
ea i dont want to talk anymore nvm
guys look at my special ponies i got today
IM SO HAPPI
my mums gonna teach me abt investment too im so excited
i hope it becomes a hyperfixation
also ill update u guys on my heehee later but its coming along so well
i like being me sometimes
ok
i feel
guilty
upset
embarrassed
over multiple things
and sad
i feel guilty bc i overexplain stuff which leads to me feeling embarrassed bc i do that
i feel upset bc sdsswm even thoug i dont expect h to but i also do at the same time which makes me feel guilty and embarrassed BECAUSE i do expect it
and sad that im like this
but it will all end okay
must believe
im 62.4 too
C:
i will continue w horsi game
omg i have to ook at things i unlocked today!!!
ive collected 2/6 of iuh of jungle!!!!
ive collected 3/9 horsn
wait no 3/11
and 3/9 iu horns and hopefully ill get the jungle horn soon
with a hideylideylidey and a hideylideylay we work and we make cigarettes all hideylidey day so that folks can get a breaky from their stressful lidey lives and relaxy with he cigarettes we make all day and niiight and if i get a cancer when im 80 i dont care who the hell wants to be 90 anywayyyyy so with a hideylideylidey and a hideylideylay we work and we make cigarettes all hideylidey day so that folks can get a breaky from their stressful lidey lives and relaxy with he cigarettes we make all day and niiight
stop.
WITH GOOD STATS TOO
WHAT ON EARTH
THATS THE 3RD THING IVE GOTTEN TONIGHT
this server im in is so lucky
i feel guilty again
i fele like im soamming her and disrupting her time on horsi game
ill try dlow down my messaging
its me and her!!
oh my jesus the ringing in my ears is so loud
holy fuck
bonnies leash rubbed away the skinnon my finger it hurts sm๐ญ๐ญ
merlin and i got snacks and i got a passionfruit drink!! i love passionfruit
!rank
i wanna be pink
want ti match w wif and also i love pink
found yaoi at bigw
i dont think she wants to talk w me rโ
its ok
ill be ok
maybe
ill js do my naplan
im really scared
and realy hieghtened
hightened
im really really really
and stressed
im so scared
im so scared shes not okay or that something really bad happens
my heart is actually beating so fast im so scare
d
im so fucking scared someone please rip all my limbs off
scarlett and her friends r helping me
theyre freaky in a good way
its making me smile
im still really anxious but thyere making e laugh
theyre so freaky and funny
im
so
fucking
anxious
and stressed
and upset
im trying not to cry
i dont know what to do
im not okzy
im
i think she doesnt want to come back to me
what have i done wrong
im crying now
i dont kno
i dont like myself
i want to play more horsey
but i cant bc i have a limit on it
i want to feel better
and not feel guilty
or upset
my feet feel gross
my sisters in the bathroom tho
i hate this
i cant cry
for some reason i cant
but i really want to
i cry
i dont know what to do
i hate this
im not sble to be happy
anywhere
im gonna look at chishiya to stop crying
hes not senfing through
south park stoppef playing
nothing good
maybe thid is the consequence of me getting good ponies yesterday znf today
i cant message anymore
ive brrached my window of tolerance
i cant stop sobbing
i cant do anything
im sorry
i cant stop crying i hate thid do much
i cznt
i relaly cant
ok
i responded to charlies tiktoks znd i had a toktok break to stop my crying
i might play horsey game now
i think i will
and get out of bed
ill do jungle island and hopefully get the horn there
once i get back up to 1mil i can finzlly continue training
im shaking sm
ok
go
nice to meet you gay
ill delete the video i sent her when it disappears from veuw
im trying so hard and its not working
i need to try harder
i dont want to do something that will affect her negatively
no
im getting out
of my toxic cycle
im gonna turn my phone off
byebye
i danced
it helped
i feel so much better
singing also helps too
i recomend im gonna play horsi gsme now!!
i cant stop cry8ing
why do i keep doing thinga w wornb
im shkaing so mcuh
i keep doing everything wrong
dancing didnt help
its impossible for me to get better
i never will#
its all my fault
everyone tuhinks im nice but im a horrible person
my dog is scared now bc im screaming
everything hurts so much
im gonna hug cartman and hope this passes soon'
i cant deal with this
i hate his
it happpens every fucking day
and i drag people down with me
its too fucking hard
i cant do this
i dont want to eat
or be anything
im so fucking pathetic
im a whiny little kid
people my age r so much more mature
im so fucking done
am i toxic if i think shes thinking 'better look at this or shes gonna delete it again'
am i toxic
i dont want to be a bad person
i really really dont
i want to be a good person thats nice to everyone and no one dislikes
i dont want to be a bad person
its all my fault
i hate my thoughts
and so i PULL OUT MY GUN
TELL ME WHY TOM CRUISE IS STILL IN THE CLOSET OR IM GONNA SHOOT SOMEONE
and i PULLED OUT MY GUN
3 arabians, 47 appaloosas, 8 andys, 4 akhal tekes, 5 connemaras, 4 clydes, 4 dutchys, 11 fjords, I CAUGHT 5 FRIS BUT IM KEEPING 1 SO 4 fris, 9 icelandics, 24 mustangs, 2 marwari, 2 mammoth donkey, 3 perchs, 30 paint hprses, 40 quarter horses, 2 shires, 13 standardbreds, 5 standard donkeys, 2 thoroughbreds
im at 499k now
i was at 202k at the end of yesterday HELP
right next to eahcother bro
i remembered my scary sream
merlin was driving me in a car at night time and there was a blood moon
and the blood moon exploded and blood went everywhere
i feel so bad
what if my mum thinks i hate her
she doesnt have anyone
i fel so bad
im starting to cry
i dont want anything bad to happen to her
shes been through enough
and what if its my fault
everythings do stressful
theres nothing good
i cant handle this
this is so much
everythings going wrong
i knew it
i had teally good luck on horsey gzmr and now my life id going to shit
i cznt handle this
i really cant handle this
this is too much
my tears feel liek this
i cznt stop crying
its too much
i cant
i cznt do thos
its too much
how a i supposed go live
whoever made me why
why did u have to put me through thid
was i relaly that bzd a person in my past life
im sorry
im so sorry
im so sorry
for whatever i did
please stop tortuting mr
theres nothing good in my mife
whoevers doing this to me please stop
there has to be domeone controlling everyones life
who is controlling mine
they mist hate me
i cant handle this
I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE PSYCH WARD
I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE PSYCH WATD
I WANT TO GO BZCK TO THE PSYCH WARD
I WANT TO GO BZCK TO THE SPCYH WATD
I WANT TO GO BACK TOT HE PSYCH WATD
I WANT TO GO BZCK TO THE PSYCH WARD
im
crying again
i cant handle this
i cant handle this
i really really cant
does this classify as a mental breakfown
i am shuichi
i go insane
and i scream
and im
not conscious
im thinking
maybe like a day program would be good
not an actual admissiom
idk
i dont want it to get to that point at all
but given her situation its probably gonna happen
i dont like being a big thinker
i just constantly think
i wanna go see the new horror movie w merlin
if given the choice i would go w her but theres not enough food she would eat there and its unnecessary walking around
she doesnt need that rn
im crying again
does her mum want her to go to the hospital or smth
im crying again
i dont like this
i dont like it at all
why
just why
the second she sent that i started crying
i cant stop
eveyrhthings making me upset
i dont want to be here
i cant stop crying i hate my life so much
i hate it so much
i dont want to be alive
theres nothing good
i have no joy
i dont want life to keep doing
i want to stop in this moment until im ready to move forward
im not ready
im not ready for the next week
or even the next day
im so scared
im so so so scared
bonnie slapped me into shape
i should focus on my life
and not let others scare me
or make me upset
im in my life
and my life is okay
sometimes
but right now
right this very second
its okay
dr jiwon would be proud
i dont think im ready
this is delilah
i love her so much
shes so pretty
and these were two puppies
i got to pat and be int heir pen w them
nvm
im fucked
that made me start crying again
i wanna fucking kill myself
the worst part is that it is all my fault
im so alone
its majing me so much worde everythings making me so mich worse
why do i feel these things why do i think these things
its making me feel worde and be so mcโuch more anxious
i hate this
i hate this
i hatbtjis
i hate this
i hate this
u hate ihate this
i hate this
i hate this
i hstes this
i hate thid
i hae this
i wish i was old enough to do volunteer work
i cant stop crying
its goo much
im in so much emotional pain
im alone
im so alone
im such a five year old
i dont liek that response
i read responses in different toned znd it makes me start crying
im a fucking child
my pullows so wet
im crine
why
did
that
set
me
off
im
not
okay
why did that set me off
that made me so upset
i really ahve
my wot
im reached it
im crying again
im a horrible oerosn
i mdo mean
its my gault
im so sorry
im horrible
im so mean
i dont want her to bear all my problems
its all my fault
shes gonna break up with me
im gonna be all alone
im so sorry
its all my fault
i cznt stop cryong
i cant breathe
im so horrible
i feel like theres sometung wrong woth me becasue i never feel that way
im not okay im not okay im not okay
im doing it again
im making myself worse
im doing it to myself
i wnana be 16
so i can volunteer at the rspca and care for the horses znd ponies there
i relaly want to
hey gang
IM CRYING
im confused
no
im happy with my life
i got to pony a pony today
so like trot around on a horse and lead a pony while we were trotting
i smiled so much it was so much fun
i cry
im so upset
i feel ruined
i was so happ
i smell blood
i really smell blood
its all i can smell and feel in my mouth
regula said to me 'im so fricking proud of u. u ride this horse so well'
it makes me so happy
guysโฆโฆ. 62.1!!!!!!!!!!!
!rank
YAY
i love my horsi game i haveny gotten many new or good horses but i got back up to 1mil in like 4-5 days
i am
trying so hard not to cry
im so stressed
im so anxious
im trying to not cry
my eyes are burning
.8๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
rahhh even my mum id daying i hzv rno griends
i tried to throw up but nothing came up
augh
i failed
im a failure
in rverything i fo
nothing id hood
i wanna become sua
iiiiiii
ammmmmm
aloneeeeeeeee
my mum basically said i hzve no griendd
as if i dont know thzt
i have scarlett
shes a frienf
and zoey
i never talk to either of them tho
i talked to dcarellt for first time in like a month or two
and i havent talked to eoey in months
so i dont have any friends
im completely alone
no one wants to talk to me
im so
gross
im gonna cry
i need to wash my hair its so hrosd but i cant theres so much to do and i cznt ask my mum bc dhe wants a break from me but i cant go to school yomortow w such gross hzir i font know whzt to do
im gonnz try and get out of dinner tonight
i want control๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
ive nearly ripped my whole toenail off its covered in blood
i want to play horse riding talrs
on my omd account
!rank
nearly pink
i should put my phone fown znd play horsi gzmr
im only making myself worse by wallowing
i dont deserve anything
im five seconds away from fucking killing myself
im so close to crying i hzve to holf bzck bc merlind here
im going
to
fucking
kill
myself
im ripping my toenail off when i get home i dont care i need to do something
i need to cry but i cant
im crying again
im so
i hate this so much
im os done
and alone
i want to stop being here
i hate every day
i have no days that i like
i havent had a good day in ages
im in so much pain
my heart hurts when i smile
im so alone
i have nothing and no one
i dont want to be here
i really reallyd ont
i cant
handle this
im in too much pain
i really dont want to be here
someone please fucking kill me
i dont want to be here anymore please someone help me
i cant
be
here
anymore
please
i can jump off that bridge
i dont want to die in pain
i want
my fucking
sertraline
i want it
i want 4000mg
i hate this so much
why did i have to fail twice
not once but twice
im gonna throw up
maybe i should rip off my other nails
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i dont want to be alive
i dont want to have dinner
i dont want to go to school tomorrow
im done
i have no one
im completely alone
and its my fault
so i should die
please
someone help me
i dont hav anyone
i literally have no one
i just wanna get a cat
i dont want to be here
i dont want to be here
i dont want to be here
i dont want to be here
i dont want to be here
i want to fucking fir
i ahte this do much
i dont have a way out of anything
i want a vlade so i czn dlit my wridtd
maybe next time im out xith dcarlett
we can go to forcirwirkd and i can buy a dhzrprner
fuck you
i dont want to be alive
she hates me
she must hate me
oh my god
i judt rrzalised
me doing this
is the equivalent of liam szying he was gonna die beczudr of her
mr saying โim gonna fucking kill mydelf to herโ id thr equivalent of thzt
im
a fucking horrible petson
oh my god
i relate to sua so much
even the bad bits
i am her
and im so ashamed thzt i zm thr xzy i zm
no one likes me
im so alone
im so isolztef
im in so much pain
im so
i wish had someone
everytime i think about it i start crying
im do alone
ok guys
i stopped crying
im gonna js play horsi game
im so sorry
my headphoned are againdt my tent and i can hear the textures of it swiping back and forth bc im shaking so much
GUYS
I GOT A LEGENDARY CHST ON MAINLAND!!!
I COMPLETED TH EMONTHLY TASKKKKKKKKK
i now have 123 chests in my inventory
i thought i was ok but im crying and eating chocolate
i need to stop thinking i really need to
im cry8ing so hard
she should message someone else im not gonna be any fun tonight
im crying so fucking hard
im in so much pain
im so alone
im in so much pain
i want to scream
i would screa but my mums home so i cant
im
so dead
i cant handle this
this is too much
i need help
theres bloody skin under my nails
im sorry
im so sorry
im so sorry im not fun
im so sorry im not okay
im so sorry
i need to stop messaging
if i keep messaging her she willl keep not feeling good
she needs to message someone else so she canfeel better
im doing the wrong thing
im doing the wrong thing
i keep doing the wrong thing
im fucking crying again
i need to stop the
sdtme
intsthe
im so alone
i dont have anything
i want a cat
i dont know what to do with my life
im so empty
i need to just stop
im not doing anything good
even south park isnthelping
maybe pearl will
fucking horrible dream
im gonna have a bad day
why is there no good days
bonnied trying to comfort me by cudlding w me
idk why but i js feel really sad
i need to stop thinking abt it
i really need to stop
im so sad
and like
upset
i shouldnt have eaten
i feel so guilty that ive eaten
im taking everything personally
im gonna cry later
i js really wanna watch pearl
can netflix pls bring it back
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME IF I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG I DONT UNDERSTAND I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME
im gonna go cry after my mum and grandma r gone
i dont like life
im gonna have a meltdown once im alone
i cry
im not okay
i dont like this
i dont like this
im gonna dance and sing i tuink that will help
What are you gonna sing?
alien stage and illit songs!!
iwto๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
js thinking abt it makes me not want to eat
r
e
im depressed
i dont feel good
e
im gonna cry
alon
i js wanna cry
i feel tears but i cant until my mum leaves
im so alone
tenya i wanna dance with kacchan tenya
heehee update guys!!
ive fone arms i js need to do head and ears then sew then i can do the accessories!!
heehee approves
my girlfriend made this for me as a gif
im so happi i love her so much
i cant cry
im alone
i shouldnt have eaten that chocolate
maybe i can throw it up
yes
i have to be quick thoo
GUYSSSS
OMG SO CLOSE
EEEEEEE
I WANNA BE PINKKKKKKK
no
dont look
itll make things worde
focus on music
music peak
OMG ILL WATCH CHERISH MY LOVE MV
literally so small they could wrap around your hand
I wish they can be kept as pets ๐
tigers are awesom
im so upset
im so upset with everything
nothing is good
no situations are good
setting everyone up for failure
im so alone
im such a failure
i have no achievments
i need to stop comparinh
i have a good life
i will be okay
i neef to stop thinking and feeling
my sisters depressed and its allmy fzult
im the reason
it literally is all my gault
dhe szid it herself
im scared to ask for more time
and i need to pee but i cznt bc shes in the bzthroom
!rank
shes going to hospital
i cant do anything
im fucking done
im gone
i cant handle this
too much is happening
im gonna cry when i get home
my fingers bleedingggggggg
im so upset
nothings going well
i dont want to be here
nothing is good
im so scared
im soso scared
im so scared
im stress eating im so scared
im so upset
im starting to cryim so scared
nothings good
nothings good
im crying so much
im such a failure
im doing nothing with my life
im so
not good
im in so much pain
i hate life so much
i hate everything
theres nothing good
i hate everything so much
i have nothing positive in my life
gi js want to fucking die
i ahte life so mcuh
i just want tp die
i hate everyhting]
i want to die
theres no way out
i cant die
no one will let me
i hate my life so much
i feel like tsuneko
i jus want to die
i have no achievments because im not good at anything
like
im not good at anything i do
i hate life
i just wajne die
i want my blade back
im so done
i hate this so much
im so bad at everything i do
im a horrible rider
im horrible at school
im a horrible friend
im a bad rider
im bad rider
im bad at horse riding
ill never improve
i have no achievements
im so bad at everything i do
im worthless
im so useless
i cant do anything
i feel guilty for eating when she cant
living is so unbearable i cant hanfle it
i cant handle this
i dont want it to be a new day
i dont want todzy to be today
i dont wznt any dayd
i dont want any days conscious
pleade let me die like uncle davif
i want illit
i wanna watch illit
i want illit
they make me feel better
see i stopped crying whrn i saw the gifs
idk what im gonna tell maggie tmr
that maxe me feel worde
i cznt stop crying
i dont know whzt to do
im so ugly
im so horrible
i cznt live
i hate life do much
i need to fet on pony game i cant handle this
im not breathing ok
im not ok
i dont want to be alive
i hate being alive
i dont know what to do
im gonna go eat and cry
thank you for ur concern pookie ill listen
he's a filthy greasy basement dweller
hes NASTY
i sob
soon im only gonna have my mum
my grandma is in hospitak
i have literally no one else
and i think she was saying my grandma is bad
shes the only one i have
my other nan is worse
i literally have no one
its as good as im gonna get
i dont have anyone
i really dont
shes enforcing that
its true
my grandma isnt good enough
i only have my mum
im so
alone
ea i shouldnt have told her
im so depressed
just
im typical stereotypical depressed
i ruined my own happiness
im so depressed
and just
empty

๐ซ can I tell you something?
You're just 14
You're not ugly
Your not unworthy
It's just.. there are bad adults around you.
You deserve as much as any other kid.
Friendships happen and they break up and stuff but don't think badly of yourself
we're all humans. Everyone makes mistakes
None is perfect we all have flaws so none have the right to say anything bad about you or anyone else 

I hope I didn't overstepped

u didnt overstep i appreciate it so much thznk you
I'm young too and I'm glad Im not the only one going through experiences that make you feel like your life just ended, especially when it comes to family... ๐ฅน Were in this together, and you have supporters, you are always loved!!
Eugh not these trollers bruh... I know a group of guys who used to ask me for servers so they could do this .. >< it's disgusting honestly
you are always loved too!!!
its acc so gross i dont understand why someone would do that
Bro frr ๐ญ๐ญ๐ like I simply genujenly don't understand from the bottom of my heart what someone is getting out of that,, well, I guess it's the joy of making fun of someone's problems and vulnerability, which is just pure evil ๐ญ๐ how do you even sleep at night knowing ts
<33
LITERALLYYY
did i do the wrong thing
i think i did the wrong thing
i keep doing the wrong thing
im so anxious
idk whzt to do
why do i ieep doing things wring
i cry
im never doing anything right
GUYS
I CAN FINISH ALL THE MAMMOTH DONKEYS
i keep doing the wrong thing
idk how to do the right thing
ill ask one more time
if she says shes ok i wont push it
i keep doing the wrong thing
ill let her do what she wants
i dont want to push her
im sorry
im so fucking sorry
i wish i could do so much more
i cry
im so so so sorry
i want to do so much more for u
i wish i was a controller of the game so i could give u more special ponies
i would constantly be spamming in ponies
im so sorry i cant do more for u
and i cant be there for u
i promise if i could i would
oh wait shes not playing
my heart has dropped
what if she breaks up w me
what if shes dead
why didnt i notice sooner
im scared
im reallu scared
is she dead
what if someone killed her
and the last thing she felt for me was upsetness
im so scared
guys im really really scared
shes offline on eveyrthing
im gonna cry im so scared
no
shell come back soon
shell be ok